


By The Fire

by Lydia_Ren



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, F/M, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren is a simp, M/M, Modern Era, OC has a name but you can imagine you are her, Original Character(s), Platonic Soulmates, Protective Poe Dameron, Romantic Soulmates, Rose Tico is a bamf, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Star Wars - Freeform, Tall Curvy and Badass OC, The First Order, Will let y'all know when I add smut, kylo ren is not nice at first, no beta we die like men, no smut yet, star wars sequels - Freeform, the resistance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 48,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25276630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lydia_Ren/pseuds/Lydia_Ren
Summary: Soulmates, the universe gifted everyone with three, Platonic, First Love, and True Love. Lydia Taylor is a romantic at heart who embraces the gifts of the universe. She loves Poe Dameron, her platonic soulmate, fiercely and innocently. She thinks back lovingly on her first love, Cassian Andor, who still sends her post cards and tokens of affection despite his marriage to his true love.How will Lydia cope when a true love mark appears on the sweet down to earth girl and the dark and handsome CEO, Kylo Ren?Revamped Chapters 1-6! Editing and posting new chapters as often as I can!
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	1. The World Around Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped version of Chapter one, 2/23/20
> 
> So sorry to edit this AGAIN but grammar, plot holes... I gave Jyn her platonic soulmate, who is a non-binary pal named Kat, based off of K2-SO! 
> 
> TW: Discussion of being sick, surgery, mental health, and bullying. Feel free to contact me on Tumblr @lydia-ren if you need more of a summary about the triggers :)
> 
> -Lyd

I began working on this after reading stories from [@Punk_in_Docs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punk_in_Docs/pseuds/Punk_in_Docs) and [@Mangoyogurt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangoyogurt/pseuds/Mangoyogurt)

So thank you for the inspiration! I dedicate this work to the many great fanfic authors who inspired me to begin writing! 

* * *

**_Chapter 1: The World around her, revamped edition_**

_ “And at home by the fire, whenever you look up there I shall be— and whenever I look up, there will be you. _

She actually enjoyed the idea of having different soulmates, many in the world tried to fight and reject their chosen soulmates. They hid their tattoos, covered them with synthetic ink, wore makeup and carefully placed clothing. Lydia enjoyed letting her tattoos see the sun, wearing sundresses, letting the world know she is a romantic at heart. She found a certain peace in knowing there was someone out there for everyone. Everyone is given a best friend, a first love, and a forever soulmate, no matter who you are.

Two tattoos decorate her upper forearm, waiting for the third to appear. Her first tattoo, a small yellow heart with a P in the middle, represented her platonic soulmate. A wonderful best friend she met at the cusp of adolescence, before the scary transition of junior high to high school. She had met Poe in the blazing hot summer, almost immediately after she had bid her close friends goodbye at their eighth grade graduation, knowing she was attending a different high school than the rest. 

Lydia remembers the day so clearly, her cousin Jyn was throwing a pool party to celebrate the end of the school year. Lydia went to a different school than her cousin, so all the guests were unfamiliar territory for her and her anxiety bloomed before the party, but she knew these would soon be her new classmates at the high school that was closer to her new home. Jyn, the more confident one, made sure she was introduced to everyone, the girls adoring Lydia’s vibrant pink hair and the boys attempting to hide their awkwardness from being introduced to a new pretty girl. She was getting hugs and high fives left and right from the friendly group of teenagers.

Jyn finally introduced Lydia to her small group of friends, Finn, Poe, Rose, and Jyn’s platonic soulmate, Kat. Hugs were given as the crew was slowly introduced and Lydia was so happy being surrounded by Jyn’s close personal friends. When she finally got to Poe, a lanky awkward kid with a dark tan, he pulled her into a tight hug. It was the moment they fell into a hug they both felt a burning sensation searing their arm. Lydia let out a quiet yelp, not used to the pain of a soulmate mark blessing her arm.

Poe was marked with a small yellow heart with the letter L in the center, and Lydia had a small yellow heart with a P branding the middle. Jyn, Rose, and Kat excitedly shrieked at seeing a platonic soulmate mark appear in front of their eyes. It was right then and there, Lydia found her best friend. Lydia’s embarrassment from not finding her platonic soulmate earlier in life slipped away, as the happy and loving energy from Poe seeped into her. 

Rose fondly shared with Lydia how her and Finn found out they were platonic soulmates, knowing each other for months but never hugging one another. Until one afternoon Finn literally fell into her arms and from then they knew of the love they would have for each other. 

Years flew by without another mark appearing, Poe and Lydia fiercely protected each other, held each other when crushes did not turn into a first love tattoo, celebrated milestones in their lives, and loved each other as friends. Poe’s first love tattoo appeared their senior year, when a transfer student named Zorii popped into their lives. Poe boldly asked her out on a date within a week and she initiated a kiss between the two before the date even ended. They stayed together until they had to be separated by graduation, Zorii going to a trade school across the world, and Poe following Lydia to a college in the rainy state of Washington. It was a tearful goodbye, but their time together was up, as decided by the universe. Many found their first love tattoos during high school, but Lydia felt no shame in surviving high school without the pink heart branded with the initial of her love, it was the universe to decide, not her. 

The universe made its decision during the first week of college classes, Finn, Poe, Rose, and Lydia decided to split an apartment 10 minutes away from campus, rather than living in cramped dorms. Jyn would have joined them but a last minute acceptance to New York University had her change her mind, keeping her closer to Kat. A very tearful goodbye party split the small gang of friends who grew up with each other with plenty of promises to reunite during school breaks. After they moved into an apartment that Lydia swore was bigger than they could afford, (Poe refused to admit he lied about the rent and secretly paid more money so they could have a comfortable place to live), and unpacked their measly belongings, they made their way to the first day of classes, hands held and a brave face Poe always carried with him.

Lydia and Poe made their way to a English 400, their high testing scores and A.P. classes letting them skip basic 300 courses, they tried their best to hide the fact they were obviously freshmen but they could only do so much in a brand new scary environment. Lydia and Poe sat right next to each other, in shock of the giant classroom, grabbing their laptops to log in before the professor began class for the day. 

Just a few minutes before Professor Dooku began the lesson, a suave looking Sophomore took the spot right next to Lydia. She did her best throughout the class to focus on the syllabus and write down important dates in the cute unicorn planner she picked up during her back to school shopping and highlight the pages the teacher handed out. She tried to ignore the quick glances the handsome sophomore kept making towards her. 

When the professor dismissed the class for the day, the man next to Lydia introduced himself as Cassian and asked her on a date, to no surprise of Poe who could sense the glances he kept making throughout the class, him being so protective of Lydia was worried it was some sleazeball college student who preyed on scared freshman, but Cassian would soon prove him wrong. To Poe’s surprise, Lydia agreed to the date and exchanged numbers with the man. Poe just stood there shocked until Lydia pulled on his arm and explained this is the time to take risks and go on new adventures as they found their way to the cafe to scrounge up some caffeinated drinks and muffins before their next class. 

Before they knew it, their first week of college was over and Friday night came. Lydia was standing in the bathroom, touching up her lip gloss in one of her new sun dresses she picked up in New York when they went sightseeing with Jyn and Kat over the summer. The green and blue flowers splattered the entire design, the dress cinched at her curvy waist, and the skirt flowing down to a few inches above her knee. Lydia strapped on some comfortable sandals with no heel, at her 5’10 stature, she struggles to wear heels in fear of hurting her dates’ feelings. Her hair was worn down, wavy from the braids she had in the previous day.

Poe worried about her date, remembering the tears in High School when boys would ask her out as a joke just to insult her size and surgery scars that littered her body. Poe and Finn were often found pummeling these guys after school while Rose distracted Lydia with a binge of their favorite TV series or an afternoon of hair dying. 

High School was difficult for the sweet Lydia, without the support of her family, friends, and Poe she is not sure she would have been able to survive. A one in million chance brought a sickness down on her, a necrotizing fasciitis viciously attacked the skin on her foot. After five surgeries and hours of physical therapy, Lydia was returned back to the hustle and bustle of High School. No one considered that after she was out of the hospital she would have to fight another illness, but her mental health took a toll on her. She struggled with anxiety, depression, and PTSD from all the trauma she went through. Her symptoms worsened due to the cruel teenagers of her high school who pointed out her surgery scars, her weight, they spat at her she would never find a true love. Lydia was so thankful Poe convinced her to begin therapy, driving her to appointments once he got a license and taking her out afterwards for some good food and comfort from his always cozy energy.

Poe found it so inspiring that even though Lydia was put through Hell and back, she came out of it a strong, amazing woman whose kindness touches the lives of everyone around her. She loves deeply and cares about those around her, even if it’s an old grouchy shopkeeper or a quiet janitor who keeps their head down. She finds a good side to everyone, a light side. 

Poe was elated when Cassian was on time for his date with Lydia. After brisk introductions with her housemates he whisked her away to a lovely dinner and a walk in the gorgeous park. He was a proper gentleman who held onto every word that fell from her glossed lips, held open all doors for her, and even pulled the chair out for her to sit before dinner. As they strolled around a beautiful park while the sun began to set, he asked permission to give her a kiss when they stopped to admire the fountain in the park. Lydia, blushing from her ears agreed and allowed the man to give her a kiss. When their lips touched, they felt a small searing pain on their upper forearms, small interlocked pink hearts sat next to their yellow hearts, with their initials branding the center, they smiled happily, knowing they would be first loves.

Their time together lasted longer than normal first loves, seeing each other all the way until the summer after she graduated. Her cross-genre writing degree finally sat proudly on the wall of the apartment her and her friends shared for the past four years. Cassian returned from a business trip with tears in his eyes. He had met his soulmate, his eyes met with a lovely girl who was a part of the modeling group in Italy. He had been hired to take photos for a traveling agency trying to promote the smaller but gorgeous cities in various parts of Europe. It was then, when the lighting was perfect and he had stepped in front of the camera to move the models around, his eyes met with the gorgeous girl and he suddenly felt the intense burning in his arm, a blood spot staining his WSU jacket. 

He felt so incredibly anxious telling Lydia, afraid to see tears form in her eyes. But as always, she was understanding, knowing the universe meant for this to happen. They held each other for one last night and shared a final kiss, agreeing that they will remain in each other’s lives but now as friends. 

Lydia, the always cheerful and positive one, adored Cassian’s love, Qi’ra, pretty quickly. Once she was done being heartbroken over Cassian finding her, Lydia invited the couple out to dinner with Poe. Qi’ra proved to be a confident, intelligent woman who rapidly understood Lydia’s love for everyone in her life, not feeling threatened at all by the bubblegum haired girl who held Cassian’s heart for four years. Over dinner, the girls giggled and gushed about how sweet it was for a photographer and a model to be each other’s soulmates, enjoying how cheeky the universe could be. Poe had his arm wrapped around her waist, feeling how genuinely happy she was for Cassian, of course that girl had no ounce of spite in her body. 

Lydia attended their wedding just a few months ago, Poe in a suave looking suit on her arm and a pink flowery dress draped around her body. The wedding was just as elegant as the girl Cassian was marrying, but Lydia knew Cassian would be happy marrying her in mud if it meant she would be with him forever. She cried at the ceremony, and once again when she was slow dancing with Cassian, him sweetly thanking her for the years together and how much he grew with her. She assured him they were happy tears and cleaned herself up before she danced with Qi’ra, both women thankful for each other and their place in Cassian’s life. Lydia spent that night drinking luxurious wine, dancing with Poe and Cassian’s friends and family she grew to know over the years. 

Even after graduation, the crew remained in Washington. Poe took a job under The Resistance who have offices spread throughout the world, a company his family has remained loyal to for generations, taking Rose with him as they need an engineer on the team. Finn later found himself working at The Resistance alongside Poe, after job hopping for a year. Lydia kept her side of the rent paid working as an assistant manager to a local game and hobby shop, but she had a feeling if she did struggle to pay rent, her best friend would swoop in and pay her side. 

Poe, ever so humble, refuses to bring up how much money his family has, but Lydia had a feeling deep in her stomach. A nice modest house she spent time hanging out with him during high school, his parents always having a fridge full of food, new cars, family trips out of country that they brought Lydia out on and refusing to let her pay for any of it. The tiffany necklace his family gifted Lydia when she graduated high school confirmed her suspicions. 

A year after graduating college, the crew made the decision to move into a nice house together, none of them ready to be apart from one another. It’s a beautiful four bedroom house, two bathrooms, a roomy kitchen, and a lovely family room which will become their game and movie room soon enough. Moving was considerably easy since they sold or donated most of their furniture, not needing the lumpy red couch that smelled like old vodka or their cramped twin beds. 

They spent the weekend bringing in their boxes of personal items, picking up boxes of product they purchased from the lovely local thrift store that let them hold their items there until they were ready to move. Lydia and Rose were so thankful for Ms. B, the sweet old lady who owns the local thrift shop, they made sure to bring fresh brownies and flowers to the gal when they picked up their boxes. They were glad to not be starving college students anymore and would enjoy the space of having their own rooms for once. Once the quiet sunday grew to a close and their previous apartment was completely empty, they celebrated at their new house with cheap wine and fresh pizza, using their still full boxes as a makeshift table, not knowing which box held their “new old” table. 

Lydia’s obnoxious ringtone cut through their conversation, the girl confused at who would be calling so late on Sunday evening. But she had a feeling it could be a potential new job as she secretly pushed out resumes and applications for the past month. 

Lydia went through college with the goal of being a book editor, she adored books ever since she was a kid. She worked on the newspaper for a bit, took commissions to edit people’s theses and papers, The Resistance contracted her a few times to edit over some official documents, but she refused to let them actually hire her. She was worried of people accusing her of using her platonic soulmate to get the position, she wanted to earn it. 

She applied to a publishing house stationed just a half hour away from their new home, The First Order Publishing House, who have published every Top 50 book for the past 5 years. The application given to her was vague but dense, she was told it was a generic one so they would pass the application to various departments. Lydia was curious why an entry level position would require such an intense application, but she finished the application anyways due to their generous entry level pay. She had high hopes of working in editing but with her lack of experience in the workforce she expected to be a secretary or work the front desk. 

The phone call she received as Rose pushed a fresh beer into her hand, as they already polished off the wine, was The First Order, requesting her to come in for an interview, tomorrow at 8:00AM sharp, a position to be the secretary under the head of the editing department. Lydia tried to hold back a squeal, trying to sound professional to the woman on the other end. She quickly thanked the woman and hung up. Poe quickly wrapped her in a hug, asking her the good news. She shared her news, all of them cheering for her, genuinely glad she could find a career in her field. 

The night was spent celebrating the new beautiful house and the job interview, Poe only slightly grouchy that Lydia secretly applied for jobs. He buried down his knowledge of the temperamental CEO who ran The First Order and celebrated his best girl, hoping she would avoid Kylo Ren at all costs. Lydia loved her assistant manager job and helping people find their niche in the world of roleplaying and miniature wargaming, but she knew she wanted to do more with the degree she worked so hard for. 

Lydia felt perfectly happily, starting her life with her friends and hopefully securing a job that could open many doors for her.


	2. A Bottle of Black Hair Dye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped Chapter, 2/25/21

_**Chapter 2: A Bottle of Black Hair Dye, Revamped**_

Lydia woke up bright and early, a light headache ghosting the back of her head. She knew she would regret that last drink but Poe’s puppy eyes get her every time. Lydia’s hair has faded from the vibrant pink she’s had for so many years to a blonde with a light pink hue to it. She hopes the job would allow for her to retain her bright pink hair but if worse comes to worse, a bottle of black hair dye and Rose would be waiting for her this week. Lydia readies herself with professional looking makeup, she was glad for packing some makeup in her overnight bag, a nude eyeshadow look with a simple eyeliner wing, a light pink lipgloss and arched eyebrows should suit her needs for the day. 

She straightens her hair and dresses into her interview clothes her and Rose dug through boxes and boxes to find, while a little drunk on wine, which includes a thrifted grey blazer, a black mini skirt that she is pretty sure Poe snuck into her closet when her nice pants ripped, and low black heels. The click of her heels gave her the confidence she would need today, but the fear of towering over everyone kept her at a healthy half inch heel. Rose has stashed a pair of 4 inch heels she thrifted for Lydia in the back of the closet, waiting for the day Lydia will grow from her fear of being taller than everyone and just own it. She grabs the Tiffany necklace Poe gifted her years ago and slips it over her neck, where it has sat ever since the necklace was gifted to her. After last minute adjustments, Lydia makes her way out the door with her purse and a granola bar in hand to begin her 30 minute journey.

A little under 30 minutes later Lydia found herself sitting in the waiting room, visitors' tags hanging from her lapel, she double and triple checked the extra resumes she put in her purse. That anxiety that ticked in her brain made her over-prepared and early to anything important. She adjusted her blazer that went down to her wrists, covering her two soulmate marks. At exactly 8am a blonde woman walks into the room and requests Lydia to follow. She introduces herself as Phasma, no Miss or Ma’am, just Phasma. She explains that she is in charge of hiring for the higher ups since they lack the ability to conduct interviews and judge someone’s character. Lydia stifles a laugh when Phasma says that, Phasma just smiles knowing that line makes the scared ones a little less nervous. 

“Ms. Taylor please sit down and we will begin the interview shortly.” 

Phasma said once they entered a decently sized office, the nameplate on the desk proudly declared this is Phasma’s personal office. Lydia appreciated the dark modern decor of her office, noting the personal touches such as a framed photo of two oversized german shepherds. Phasma clicked away on her computer in order to access Lydia’s application, Lydia quietly removed one of the resumes from her purse and handed it to the intimidating blonde. Phasma looked surprised when Lydia handed her a copy of her resume but smiled after the gesture, wishing in her head more people did this. It was often easier to take notes on the physical resume and interviews were so last minute she does not have the time to make her own copies, or even ask her trusted secretary to run her resumes. 

After an hour of intense questions about NDAs, protection of assets, and other dense questions, Phasma posed one last one.

“Lydia, if hired you would be working under Mr. Hux, our head of the editing department, what makes you think you deserve this job?”

Lydia sat thoughtfully, wondering what did she do to deserve this interview at all.

“Well Phasma, truthfully, I do not know if I deserve this job. I have only worked freelance editing jobs and worked small retail jobs during college. But I know I am a hardworker, I have refused job offers from my friends because I did not work for those offers. If given the chance here I believe I will succeed and make Mr. Hux happy with my work ethic. This job would be a great opportunity for me to begin my editing career and work with books, my passion since I was a small child. I can only hope I am the right fit for the job.” 

Phasma nodded along to the words that flew from Lydia’s mouth, seeing a modest girl truly trying to begin work for her passion and not another bored temp who wants the notoriety of working for The First Order. Or worst of all, another bored valley girl who’s dad has connections to this company and ends up sleeping with Ren or the newbie Hux, which is just a disaster for H.R and P.R.

“Well Ms. Taylor, I have a few more interviews today, you will hear back from us by tomorrow whether or not we will be continuing with you.”

Phasma got up and personally walked the young girl from her office back to the waiting room, giving her a warm handshake, then brought in the next person waiting for their chance to be interviewed. A bored frat boy whose father plays golf with Hux’s father and whose father decided it’s time for his son to be on his way and make his way in the world, which is ironic considering the father set up the interview for his kid. 

Lydia leaves the office, pulling the visitors tag off and shoving it into her purse, she celebrates her small success by picking up starbucks and dropping by The Resistance to surprise her hardworking friends. Her few contracting jobs there and the many parties and galas she attended for The Resistance has led to everyone knowing her, the ceo Leia just adores the pink haired beauty. Leia practically sees the whole gang as her own set of pseudo kids since her son Ben ran out almost 10 years ago. Once Lydia drops coffee off for the busy Finn, Poe, and Rose she makes her way to the top floor where Leia’s office sits, full of warm furnishings that make the place feel like a home rather than an office building. She knew Leia would throw a tidy fit if she did not stop by for a cup of tea or a hug when visiting her roommates and platonic soulmate. Leia adores how Poe and Lydia are chosen as platonic soulmates, as they usually pair up girls with other girls and boys with other boys. Platonic soulmates have turned to first loves and true loves in the past with an odd twist of fate, but she knows Lydia’s friendship with Poe is purely platonic. 

“Hello Leia!” Lydia greeted as she stepped through the threshold of the top floor, seeing Leia in a fashionable long dress talking animatedly on the phone. Lydia could tell Han was on the other line, Leia’s true soulmate, due to the smile and blush that flushed Leia’s cheeks. Married for 35 years and Han still managed to make his love blush, Lydia smiles knowing that could be her when her red heart appears. 

“Goodbye dear, love you more.” Leia then hung up the phone and greeted her favorite of the gang. 

“Dear, why are you so dressed up?” The older one asks as she shoos Lydia over to the table and chairs that sit near the small kitchen, to enjoy some cookies gifted from her love, Han. 

“I had a job interview today with my first editing company!” Lydia practically sings as she chooses a delicious peanut butter and chocolate chip cookie. When Han’s shoulder gave out and he started working less and less, he went into baking, a small passion that has since grown into boxes of cookies and cakes coming home with Finn, Poe, and Rose. Lydia happily spilled the entire interview process from waking up this morning unto where she’s sitting down with Leia.

“Oh Sweetheart I am so proud of you, what company, you didn’t mention a name?” The older one asked inquisitively. 

“Oh The First Order publishing!” Lydia answered between bites of her second cookie, a sugar cookie with The Resitance’s symbol branded in red icing. 

Leia paled slightly but adjusted her posture and faked a quick smile, “Oh I am so proud of you hun, I know Han will be so excited for you. He will definitely send over a cake or a pie once he hears the news.” 

Lydia and Leia gabbed over small talk, the new house, a new job potentially, Lydia’s hope to adopt a sweet cat since their new house had rules different to their old apartment. Eventually a phone call interrupted the girls and Leia was called to a meeting. Lydia quickly excused herself and left the older one to work on whatever problem had arisen. Lydia slipped quick goodbyes to her roommates and made her way back home. 

She spent the rest of the day putting together her room, knowing a new job would impede on the process. She successfully built her antique metal bed frame she got for a steal at an estate sale and two new bookcases as she outgrown only having one sad small bookcase that eventually curved from the weight of her books. Her room was always decorated so personally, gifts from her friends found places on her dresser and bookshelves, Cassian’s jacket hung on a hook next to a few other coats, pictures of her friends and family speckled the walls, her vintage makeup vanity had polaroids and little notes pressed into the mirror. 

Lydia makes her bed with a beautiful quilt her grandma passed down to her before she passed away, mix matched pillows sit at the head of her bed with a few of her stuffed animals, gifts from her childhood or Poe and Cassian. She was thankful to finally have room for her personal objects and not storing them in a box in the closet she shared with Rose in their old apartment. 

In the midst of arranging her bookshelf, their new doorbell rings. Lydia answers the door to a beautiful arrangement of flowers and a small box in the hands of a well groomed delivery man. Lydia thanks the man and takes the gifts inside. The small card buried in the beautiful blooms simply read

“Congrats on the house

-C”

Lydia adored Cassian still, always knowing what was going on even halfway across the world. The small box held a postcard and a new charm, a habit that formed at the beginning of their relationship. Whenever photography took Cassian on a trip he would find a postcard and a charm to mail back to her, something he carried on even a year after his true love came into view. 

His wife adored Lydia and respected their connection, as Lydia respected her connection with Cassian. The beautiful bouquet of sunflowers, lavender, and roses sat on her dresser, on the sunny side of her room. The charm got attached to the third charm bracelet she had to acquire with the first and second one becoming way too full and she placed the postcard into the shoebox that held the others. She hung up her favorite postcards but she had enough to wallpaper the entire room if she so dreamed.

Anyone who stepped foot into Lydia’s room can find all aspects of her life, could see the down to earth girl she is, other than the few designer things Poe would sneak into her life. Even down to Lydia’s perfume, handmade by a local shop that specializes in soaps, lotions, and perfumes. Plants are picked from the garden behind the shop and sold at $20 a bottle but Lydia always manages to slip extra cash to the shopowner’s daughter because she believes they are underpricing their products. Even in a city like Vancouver Lydia manages to find the mom and pop shops that treat her like family. Lydia brought a cheeriness with her, that shined through the rain and wet of the state. Poe thoroughly believes Lydia could turn New York City into a small countryside town where everyone knows each other with her smile and charm alone.

Lydia starts making a dinner of spaghetti and garlic bread when the lazy afternoon of decorating her room turns into a cool evening, knowing her roommates will be starving once they get home, she puts off baking a dessert knowing Han probably already has baked something and sending it home with the rest of her crew. She sets out the mismatched cutlery and plates, knowing they irritate Poe the most, no matter how often he offers to buy a brand new matching set, Lydia and Rose believe this set has the most character. 

Poe did put his foot down and bought a new living room set because the couch from their college apartment probably had too much weed dust and alcohol spills to survive the move. At 6:00 her friends rolled in, tired from the day, but excited at the smell of garlic and cheese wafting through the air to greet them. Of course Poe was holding a pink bakery box with Han’s messy handwriting scribbling the top. A beautiful vanilla cake with cookies and cream filling, frosted with pink vanilla frosting and decorated with pink roses, sparkling with confectioners glitter and sprinkles sat in the every cheery box, ready to be sliced and eaten.

Lydia indulged them with her interview story after they washed up and began to chow down on dinner. She fills them in on the gossip she managed to get from Leia about similar companies such as The Rebellion and The Empire, Lydia knows little of the politics about these huge companies but Leia shares the gossip anyways knowing she will pass it to Finn, Poe, and Rose who understand it more. After the meal is finished and cleaned up, they all take a slice of cake and some coffee from the fancy machine Leia sent over as soon as they announced they’re getting a house. It has too many buttons for Lydia to figure out but she only cares for one button, the one that makes hot chocolate. Her favorite hot drink which represents her small rebellion of refusing to grow up and drink the bitter bean juice her friends are addicted to. 

  
  


After the cake slices are polished off, mugs are empty, they slowly peel away one by one to shower and slumber. Lydia, the only one who got work done in her room slept away in a freshly made bed surrounded by the things she loves. The rest will have to wait until the weekend to build their furniture, so they sleep on mattresses on the floor. Except Poe, who always has an open invitation to sleep in her bed, cuddles with his best friend every night until his room is finished.

Lydia already plans on helping them piece together their rooms and then baking them a cherry pie when they finish the furniture in their brand new house. She fell asleep at peace, happy with the new beginnings in her life surrounded by the best of friends. Her only wish was that Jyn could join them, surely they could find room in the house for her, but Jyn the over-achiever began working on her master’s degree, stuck in New York for another two years, along with Kat who found work in a charity for LGBTQ+ youth. 

Soon enough the cold brisk of the holidays will be here and the cousins can reunite over cinnamon rolls and gag gifts. She fell asleep dreaming of cold rain and fuzzy sweaters, a dream she shares with Poe as his arm is wrapped around her waist and a sleepy kiss is pressed to her forehead. 


	3. Matching Black Tape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped Chapter, 2/25/21
> 
> I am not really happy with how short this chapter is, but it picks up soon!

_**Chapter 3: Matching Black Tape, Revamped**_

Lydia is shocked from her sleep by her phone, loudly blasting her ringtone. She set four years of a loud emo song, and Poe’s irritation for the music has led her to never change her ringtone. Making his personal ringtone an even whinier song from the same band. He groans loudly into the pillow he claimed, mumbling about answering that damn phone and his beauty sleep.

“Good Morning Miss Taylor, this Phasma’s personal assistant, Anne, I am patching you through to her now.” 

Lydia rubbed her eyes, trying to wake herself from her deep slumber, after all the best sleep she gets is after hot chocolate, cake, and cuddling her ever so warm best friend.

“Hello Ms. Taylor, is this a good time to talk.”

“Yes of course Phasma!” Lydia answered, trying to hide the sleepiness from her voice.

“Out of all our candidates, we believe you will have the most success with this company, you are officially hired and will start monday. You will be receiving a delivery today in an hour that has your welcome packet, instructional manual, rules, ya know normal new job papers. We will see you Monday morning at 8:00am sharp. Do you have any questions for me?”

Lydia quickly thanked Phasma for the job and was positive the package being sent to her would answer any questions. Phasma assured her that her email and phone number is listed in the manual if anything comes up by Monday. The two women said their goodbyes and hung up. 

Lydia pushed on Poe’s shoulder, the only part of him not buried under pillows and blankets. 

“Poe, wake up!” She squeals, forcing him out from his cocoon of comfort. 

“I got the job!!!” Lydia yells as he sits up to rub his eyes. 

“Congratulations baby, I knew it was yours.” He flung his arms around her, pushing her back down into the bed. She was unsure if it was a celebratory hug or cuddling her for more time to sleep before his alarm went off. 

“We are going out tonight to celebrate, Lydia. Your choice, I am paying!” Poe throws in, mumbling into his pillow and quickly shushes her from arguing with him. 

“We’re all going out tonight in our finest Lydia no ifs, ands, or buts!” Lydia just agreed, knowing she would rather not argue with Poe on such a happy day. 

Eventually Finn and Rose crawl out of bed, eyes tired but awoke at the high pitch squeals their roommate was emitting. They find Lydia sitting on her bed, on the phone, while Poe remains laying down with his head under the pillow.

They hear Lydia telling Jyn about the job and suddenly it makes sense why she was awake before the rest of them. Over a quick breakfast, Lydia and Poe fill them in on the call and their after work plans to celebrate, of course inviting the two to join them in celebrations.

After they are dressed and have their travel mugs full of various hot drinks she ushers them out the door as Rose goes over thrift shops they have to go to this weekend to find her more business appropriate clothes and Poe lists off different places they could go to tonight. Finn just quietly smiles at his friends who jump to immediately celebrate Lydia’s success. Lydia gives one last kiss on Poe’s cheek as they march off to Poe’s car to drive off for another fun filled day at The Resistance. 

Lydia changes from her pajamas into comfortable day clothes and eats a quick breakfast of her favorite cereal, she was unable to eat with the rest of them as she was re-telling the phone call with them. When she finishes cleaning up the dishes her roommates left this morning, a knock on the door shocks her out of her thought process of what this new job could mean for her. She opens the door to a tall, well groomed man in a suit who does not look like he is a delivery man.

“Hello I am Mr. Maul with The First Order, is this Ms Lydia Taylor’s residence?”

“Yes, I am Lydia.” 

Mr. Maul gave a quick nod to the women standing at eye level to him, “I am here to deliver the welcome package, can you please sign this?”

Lydia signed the screen on his phone, declaring the package is safely in her hands. Mr. Maul handed her an all black box with a letter sitting on top, then excused himself and drove away in an expensive looking car. 

Lydia was expecting a normal delivery guy in khakis and a baseball cap to simply put the box on her porch and leave. She slips back inside to make it back to her room. She decides to set up on the office desk she has in her room, opposite to her vanity, she grabbed her petite letter opener that was similar to a geeky sword from a show she loved as a kid. She sliced the letter open first as it was on top. 

The letter contained what looked like a generic letter with the company’s logo in the upper right corner and a copied version of the CEO’s signature, a Mr. Kylo Ren. It was a quick welcoming to the company which Lydia scanned through. She then moved onto the sleek matte box that piqued her interest. 

She delicately cut down the center of the matching black tape and flipped open the top of the box. It was full of packets and papers for Lydia to sift through before Monday, she felt like her Junior year of college when she had to take a science class that had a dry lab attached to it. It was just packets and packets, she spent the week after finals nursing the biggest bottle of Jack Daniels she could find. 

She grabbed down the mug full of pens and highlighters, then opened her drawer to grab her heart shaped post-it notes, and started working her way through the 50 pounds of paper. She read through the NDAs and took note that she was to wait to sign them until she was in The First Order’s notary’s office, she grabbed a small notebook to list important phone numbers, emails, and the password to the computer she will be using at work and will eventually tuck it away in her purse when the papers had finally all been read. She sent aside the dress code so Rose can use it as a guide while they shop this weekend. Lydia hunched over her desk, pouring over the papers, until a text message broke her from her state. 

Poe:  _ We will be home in an hour, you better start getting ready soon! -P _

Lydia realized the time and hopped straight into the shower to shave and freshen up. In the shower she was thinking of where she would want to go to celebrate with her friends. Thinking of a cute locally owned french restaurant with excellent wine. Lydia lets her barely pink hair air dry as she begins her makeup, people initially assume she wears no makeup or light makeup but she loves it as a way to express herself. She adores bright rainbow palettes and colorful lipstick on her days away from work and to wild college parties. 

Today she sticks to a rose gold palette Rose gifted her last christmas, gorgeous pinks, golds, and neutrals dance across the palette. Lydia wants to look beautiful tonight, not cute or goth or professional, she wants to stun her roommates and anyone in the restaurant tonight. She digs up a gorgeous black off the shoulder dress decorated with lace and flowers while she waits for her toenails to dry from the red paint. 

Lydia stares down her shoe collection. Weighing the option between wearing the ridiculous heels her friends snuck into her closet or an open toed sandal with no wedge. Lydia clutches her necklace as she goes through her thought process. Wearing heels would certainly blow her friends away, but that anxiety crawls up through her stomach and around her heart. Lydia sighs and grabs her cute sandals, the heels would have to wait another day. Lydia waits until her friends return home to get dressed, seeing no point in wearing her strapless bra for an extra hour while Rose runs around getting ready. 

“We’re HOMEEE” Poe and Finn, sing off key with each other as they bust through the front door. Rose follows the pair giggling at their stupidity. 

Rose yells out she needs just an hour to get ready, she hops in the shower first then the boys follow in succession to clean off the yuckiness from work. Lydia finishes the curls in her hair and runs her fingers through them to loosen them up. As the hour nears she swipes a red gloss over her lipstick, adjusting her earrings. Lydia throws on her annoying strapless bra, anyone with a big chest would equally detest the thing as it slides around, then pulls her dress on over her head carefully to not mess up her hair or makeup. The surprisingly comfortable dress hugs her curves, the bottom of the dress falls over her thighs and stops mid-thigh. Just hiding the thickest part of her legs. 

The combination of Lydia’s height and her plus sized body, she was always afraid that she would scare off her soulmate, someone expecting a petite girl to carry and throw around. It took Poe years to be able to carry his best friend around, he was a pretty lanky kid but once he discovered her insecurities he began working out so she would never feel inadequate. He prided himself on being able to carry her on his back and being able to throw her in the pool at moments notice. Lydia throws her tiny emergency makeup bag and wallet into her purse, knowing she will have to touch it up tonight. 

“Poeeeee” the dressed up girl yelled out as she left her room, “I want to go to that cute little french restaurant, Mirabelle’s please!” 

“Anything for you my love.” The equally dressed up boy yelled back at her, helping Finn fix up his collar. Rose leaves her room, adjusting a bracelet on her wrist with a fully beat face. Lydia has no idea how this woman can get fully dressed in an hour. Lydia’s fight with her hair and face takes an hour and a half. The gang finished last minute details, adjusting as they stand around in the living room. The boy’s letting out low whistles when they notice their female counterparts. Lydia and Rose rolled their eyes, knowing they’re just schmoozing the gals. 

“Alright kiddos, the uber is here, let’s go!” Poe said as he pushed them out the door, but giving Lydia a quick kiss on the top of her head. 

“And tell me Poe, why are we taking an Uber to go to dinner?” Poe smirks at his taller soulmate, 

“Well you see Lydia, once Leia heard the good news she put us on a list for a super exclusive club for us to go to after dinner, all drinks on her tab.”

Lydia smiled, knowing Leia would have some tricks up her sleeve...


	4. What the Hell Poe Dameron?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped Chapter 2/25/21
> 
> This edit is really just fixing the timeline of the story and this chapter goes through a few days pretty quickly, but eventually this story will go day by day :)

**_Chapter 4: What the Hell Poe Dameron?, Revamped_**

The meal was utterly perfect and delicious, the owners who are familiar with Lydia from her stopping by for fresh macarons and croissants, gave them wine and dessert on the house. Lydia was blushing as all the servers stopped by to congratulate her, Poe had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, giving her all the praise between servers and bites of food. From faraway the pair would look like a couple, Rose always thought they would be the perfect true love soulmates, but the universe has other plans. 

They all delve into conversation, about work that date, the eccentric delivery service Lydia had earlier, the various rules they have to follow. Lydia brings up the dress code sheet they have to bring with them when they venture out to thrift shops this week and the eventual hair dye Rose will have to soak Lydia’s pink-ish hair with. When the meal comes to a close, Poe slips a gracious tip to the hostess, knowing there's enough to make the entire team happy. 

The well fed crew makes their way to the second uber of the night, ready for some fun at the super exclusive club Leia is hooking them up with. 

“Apparently Exegol is owned by a stockholder at The Resistance so he gives the higher ups some special perks.” Finn fills the rest of the crew in, when they pull up to a gorgeous old building. The line stretches around the block, huge bouncers that look like giant bears with sunglasses on, music pulsating up and down the street. 

Poe leads the crew up, ignoring the line that could make Disneyland look quick, and an arm around Lydia’s waist, “We’re guests of Organa-Solo,” he said to the hulking man twice his size. 

“Right this way sir.” The giant man grunted at them, letting them step foot into the gorgeous club of Exegol. Lydia immediately feels underdressed, knowing she should have thrown on those heels and the tight dress Rose conned her into buying because it was just such a good deal. Lydia feared her beautiful look would be overshadowed by the sex and filth the club radiated.

“You look beautiful Lydia, you’ll be fine.” Poe whispered in her ear, practically reading her mind, familiar with the anxious look in her eyes. A tall, gorgeous woman with an earpiece in her ear and small apron wrapped around her thin waist greeted the group, 

“You’re guests of Organa-Solo? Right this way.” They trailed the beautiful women to a vip table, a velvet rope serves as a wall between them and the regular club goers. 

“This VIP table has sound-proof walls so you can enjoy conversation, if you need anything please press the red button in the middle of the table, your server will be with you shortly.” The blonde flashed a shiny white smile and left the crew to the complimentary champagne that chilled at the center of the table, right behind the red service button. 

Poe filled everyone’s glasses with the delicate champagne, “To Lydia!” He exclaimed as they tapped their glasses to each other, toasting their friend. 

The crew enjoys their champagne and orders a round of drinks, each catered to their tastes, then Poe throws in some shots for everyone to do. After a few rounds the crew decides to take their tipsy selves onto the dance floor, Poe wraps his arms around Lydia’s waist, trying to keep her standing and away from gropey dancers. Alcohol always hits her a little bit harder than him, as much as the mom friend she can be, when it comes to drinking she tends to let loose. With rolled up sleeves and skimpy dresses, all soulmate marks were exposed, except for the few who used gloves, wraps, or man made tattoos who wanted to hide their markings. 

It was clear to anyone who studied tattoos that Poe and Lydia were friends, no red hearts on either of them. Poe spun his tipsy friend out and pulled her back in, his old dance lessons sticking his head even after all these years. Lydia was surprised at the rowdy crowd on a Tuesday night, but enjoyed the crowd nonetheless. 

After dancing to a few songs, Poe slings his arm around her waist and goes up to the bar to request water and some appetizers to sober up his friends, Lydia leans her head on his shoulder, despite the two inch height difference, she still manages to cuddle into his side while standing. They spend the rest of the night dancing, eating, and being merry with each other. 

Around midnight they pile into an uber and go home. Lydia barely manages to get her shoes and jewelry off before she collapses into her cozy bed. She smiles as she falls into a deep slumber, thankful for her friends celebrating with her. 

Lydia is awoken at 9:00am to some awful banging noise, she stumbles out of her room to Poe’s room, 

“What the hell Poe Dameron, shouldn’t you be at work?!” Lydia yells at her counterpart, face full of last night’s makeup and hair tangled into a wild mess. 

“I got work to do, sorry if that woke you up Princess, but Leia gave us a day off to get our house ready before you’re a busy working girl.”

Lydia always questioned how Poe could party until midnight and still be up early the next day to work on projects, she wonders if it’s the coffee he’s addicted to so much and ponders if having energy was worth trading your soul to coffee. Lydia simply grabs the closest object to her, his keys on the dresser and throws it at him, aiming for his chest. 

“I hate you.” Lydia tells him, walking away so she could hop in the shower and get ready for the day since her sleep was rudely interrupted. 

“Love you too Lyd!” The cheeky man responded before he went back to putting together his bed frame. Lydia angrily took a shower, washing away the sweat and grime of last night, regretting her mistake of sleeping in a full face of makeup. The shower relaxes her as she washes away last night's mistakes. Lydia finishes her shower and quickly gets dressed, throwing on simple makeup and a cute sundress, she figures if she makes hangover food and bribes Rose with lunch, her friend would be down to go thrifting that day, when it was less crowded than the hustle and bustle of the weekends. She knows Rose has already mapped out the best way to hit the most thrift shops in one afternoon and how to fit in a good lunch amidst the chaos. 

Lydia makes her way down the hallway to prepare some breakfast for the hungover Finn and Rose that will eventually crawl out of their bedrooms, to be nice she does make enough for her perky soulmate who insists on working so early in the morning. Eventually the smell of bacon and pancakes stirs the house, one by one they leave their respective rooms to munch down on a plate of some good greasy food. Lydia gives Rose plenty of time to get ready, knowing she probably drank the most last night. They had found Rose in a sandwich of two meaty guys groping her, but she seemed to be enjoying it until Finn yanked her away to get some water and pretzels in her belly. 

She makes sure to throw the dress code into her purse with some painkillers in case a hangover headache decides to rear it’s nasty head. Within an hour or so, the two girls braved the outside with thick sunglasses perching on their noses and Rose with a coffee tumblr in her hand. Lydia hops into her car, a cute classic VW bug her parents gifted her when she went away for college. She adored the robin's egg blue they chose, with ridiculous pink carpets and wheel cover. She handed Rose the dress code for her to scan as she drove to the first thrift store on the list. 

“Lyd, you realize your dress code requires heels between 2-3 inches right?”

Lydia nearly slammed into the breaks as her friend read off the rule, feeling her heart pound and shriek of WHAT climbing out of her throat. Her height has always been the center of attention for her, feeling the look of judgement from others when they see her with Poe and Finn who sit a few inches below her, and Cassian being the exact same height as her. Lydia knew this was her moment to put on her big girl pants and start wearing heels. 

“That is such a ridiculous rule, why must I wear heels??” Lydia said as she pulled up to the red light. Rose simply shrugged and continued down the list, memorizing the best she could so she could shop as quickly as possible without having to reference the sheet constantly. 

Lydia pulled into the first shop and they began their adventure for the day. A few shops being complete busts, some with great stuff for everyday, and very few with stuff she could use for work. The girls were not to turn their noses to a good deal and made sure to grab the great everyday pieces and keep an eye out for what can be upcycled into a new garment or dresses for the neverending galas The Resistance insists on throwing or attending. She was positive Leia was using Poe’s charm to convince investors and potentially new partners what The Resistance represented and was worth helping.

With the outfit she already has at home, Lydia managed to pull together three other complete outfits she can use in the office, and even more when she mixed and matched the pieces. Rose was there when Lydia fell upset of the lack of clothes fitting her and the rarity of plus size clothing, but she convinced her to soldier through, bribing Lydia with fabulous homemade hot chocolate when they got home. In the midst of shopping they grabbed a quick bite to eat at a local sandwich shop, and finished their journey on the other side of town. They make it home in the late afternoon with arms full of bags, ready to sort, separate, and wash their prizes from a long day of shopping. 

Lydia was proud of the few decor items she found for her room, a cute heart shaped ceramic box can hold the new charm bracelet that joined her collection, and some new mugs to fill their empty cabinets. She was sure the “world’s best father” mug would confuse and terrify the boys, which is why Rose and her grabbed it quickly off the shelf. 

The rest of the evening is spent finishing up their house, Lydia helps everyone put together furniture pieces and dig through boxes to find specific decorations or tools they need to finish the job. That night they ordered enough pizza to last two nights so no cooking is needed as they basked in their exhaustion. Lydia thought her boxes of books were impressive until she had to unbox Rose’s wardrobe, years and years of thrifting and not gaining any weight has allowed her to amass a collection. A few ball gowns speckle the girls’ closet with the galas they attend for The Resistance or weddings they’re invited to. Rose’s collection really sparkled at her going out clothes, skimpy dresses and miniskirts were really the whole show for her. She loves thrifting for little black dresses and giving them a new life with a quick sew. 

Lydia with her books, Rose with her clothes, Finn found himself collecting found objects such as unique jars and old pocket watches, and Poe found himself collecting vintage ties and suitcases. Rose who introduced her love of thrifting to everyone, everyone slowly started to collect unique things from thrifting experiences. A collection of 90s toys from an odd furby to the light-brite speckled a shelf they proudly displayed in the living room. Every item in the kitchen was mismatched, even down to their tea set that Lydia took upon herself to put together. The eccentric house was every bit of home to them, down to the funny needlepoint Finn’s grandma sent over and Poe’s father who sent them vintage dirty magazines to put in picture frames to decorate the hallway. 

The house was finally put together on that Wednesday, so they spent Thursday night together to relax. Poe and company returned from work and they were eventually found eating leftover pizza in their living room, watching Legally Blonde 1 and 2 as it was Lydia’s turn that night to pick movies. Rose threw pieces of breadsticks at Poe and Lydia who have memorized the entire courtroom scene and recite it every time they decide to watch the movie on a movie night. 

Lydia lets the rest of the week fly by, tinkering around the house while she waits for her friends to return to share tales from work. She allowed herself more time to cook dinner for them, always wanting to experiment with her cooking skills. They were all hits except for the stuffed lobster and it ended up with Poe and Finn picking up Chinese food for the night. Rose spent dedicated time on Saturday to coat Lydia’s blonde hair in black hair dye, both of them a little drunk on wine. 

Lydia tried her best to not be upset, pink hair being a part of her for a decade, but once the first tear escaped Rose called out for Finn to bring them some wine and leftover chocolate cake. Poe stayed nearby, trying to keep his girl calm without invading her girl time. He made sure to spend Sunday being extra affectionate and complimenting her every chance he got. Every kiss to her forehead and wink made her blush like a sweet schoolgirl, never use to her soulmate’s affection. 

Lydia spends a few minutes on Sunday Night laying out the items she will need tomorrow, she puts an outfit together and hangs it on the hook on her closet door, she runs a makeup wipe over her makeup brushes to assure the rose gold eyeshadow pigment from their wild Tuesday night was truly washed out, Lydia lastly pulls out a pair of heels. Rose managed to pull Lydia to a shoe shop so she could buy a single pair of heels, with hopes to find two inch heels, but the only pair in her size that fit the dress code were three inches. Lydia stares at the heels with hate, knowing she will tower above everyone else tomorrow. She checks her purse one more time to have her notebook, wallet, and everything she could possibly need if the apocalypse happened on her way to work. After a luxuriously long shower with a full shave, a fancy body wash and whipped body cream Poe’s mom bought for her in Italy, and some floral scented shampoo and conditioner, Lydia lays down in bed, an alarm set for 6:00am, ready to take on the next day of her new job. 


	5. Not Some Silly Little Secretary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped: 2/27/21
> 
> Talk to me on Tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lydia-ren

_**Chapter 5: Not Some Silly Little Secretary** _

Lydia’s whiny emo music startled her from a dreamless sleep, she quickly turned off her alarm to not wake up the others as she began her morning routine of fighting her hair and trying to eat a balanced breakfast that she won’t barf later when the nerves finally hit. She keeps her makeup neutral and professional, puts on the lavender and rose perfume the botanical place mixed for her, and dresses herself in the outfit she picked out last night. 

Lydia decided on a grey pencil skirt with a matching blazer, a black blouse to go underneath, and a simple belt with an ornate buckle to cinch her waist in. She felt a tad ridiculous in the nude pantyhose, but she wanted to do everything by the book. Lydia took a deep breath and slid into her heels, feeling unsure of herself more than ever. She goes down the hall, purse in hand, and sits herself at the small breakfast nook with a muffin, a banana, and a glass of water. She flips through social media feeds as she chews on her meal, nerves settling into the bottom of her stomach. Before Lydia leaves a sleepy Poe slips into the room, wearing a plain white shirt and red flannel pajama bottoms. He kisses the top of her head and whispers a gentle good morning. He then makes his way straight to the coffee machine that Lydia detests so much. 

“Okay I am leaving Poe, be good today, Love you.” 

She tells the half awake man, he grumbles out a love you too and throws in good luck. Lydia makes her way to her classic VW and begins her 30 minute journey to her job. At red lights she manages to clutch her necklace, remembering the love she feels when she looks at it gracing her neck. Lydia’s CD player in her car played light tunes of the last CD she left in there, but she barely notices the music as her brain runs through the various rules and regulations she memorized this week. She barely remembered to grab her NDAs before marching out the door. 

Lydia pulls into the parking lot of the tall building, looking almost ominous to her. Once she makes her way in and explains to the secretary at the front desk who she is, Lydia is whisked throughout the office. Lydia is fingerprinted, given her parking pass, access pass to the various floors, her photo is taken for her ID card, and she visits with the notary so she can sign the various documents. She is finally dropped off at Phasma’s office, with a sweet looking girl who must be Anne stationed outside the office. Anne made light conversation with the clearly nervous newbie. Lydia nervously twisted her now blonde hair around her finger, thankful enough pink washed out that it could pass for a natural look. She plans on changing her hair to black once her hair heals from the last bleach job, Rose, bleach, and a bottle of wine is never a good idea. 

Phasma greets Lydia, professionally but also with an air of excitement, she leads Lydia personally to Mr. Hux, her new boss. Phasma brings Lydia into his office, a dark office, with practically no personal touches, except for one framed photo of an orange cat, very different from the light and personal office Phasma holds. 

“Mr. Hux, this is your new secretary, Ms Lydia Taylor.”

Lydia stepped forward from her place behind Phasma, noticing all the details of her new boss. A redheaded man with a pinched face, head to toe in black, not a single hair out of place. The man finally acknowledged the women standing in his office, he stood up and walked around his desk to shake Lydia’s hand. 

With her new boss standing face to face, Lydia realized in her work appropriate footwear, she is eye to eye with him, the exact same height. She buried the horror she felt deep down, letting no emotion besides happiness cross her face. Lydia politely thanked him for the opportunity and waited as Phasma caught Hux up on some news for this week. Phasma then leaves her and her new boss alone.

“Your desk is right outside my office, please follow all the rules in your handout regarding decoration and such. I will give you time to settle in and navigate the computer and filing system, then I will begin your duties, Is that clear Ms Taylor?”

“Yes Mr. Hux.” Lydia said then excuses herself to the desk so she can begin familiarizing herself with her new surroundings and systems.

Mr. Hux keeps the workload on Lydia light for the first week, then begins to pile on the work. She practically has to take a little bit home every night for the first month, feeling like a college student again with a poor sleep schedule and homework every night, her diet only staying relatively healthy because of her roommates. Poe stresses over Lydia like a worried mother, he even cleaned her sheets and pillowcases for her, something she thinks Poe has never done for himself. Lydia assures Poe that this job is going to open doors for her, who cares if it kills her for a year or two, she wants this chance to become an editor, take a job at any publishing house and read books from famous authors, yet to be famous authors, and every one in between. The only editing Lydia has done with this job is double checking Hux’s edits, confirming grammatical errors and such. 

Her first month at The First Order flew by, stacks of paperwork just a constant flow, and running lunch orders for Hux. Lydia believes Hux to be a good boss, he never yells at her or heavily focuses on minor mistakes, just the constant workload Lydia has. Phasma stops by at least once a week to receive feedback from Hux and Lydia, to assure her hire was doing well under the guidance of Hux, a relatively new face to the company. 

Lydia spends the first few months working herself to death, wanting to prove to Hux and Phasma she was serious about this career. She already saw multiple secretaries who she met in the copy room or the break room leave the company. Phasma’s secretary Anne confided in Lydia that Mr. Ren, the CEO of the company, and Hux often kept their secretaries only for a week or two. Lydia also learned that she is the only secretary to last so long with Hux, many of them often falling in bed with him or cracking under the pressure of the workload. 

Anne rarely spoke of Mr. Ren, even though she has been Phasma’s secretary since the company first opened their doors, she has only met him at the company’s quarterly meetings; he rarely interacted with her at charity galas, or even acknowledged her despite her dedication to the company. Lydia often heard cute secretaries giggling over the handsome CEO over a cup of coffee, she has yet to meet the man, not even interested in looking him up to see what he looks like. She knew she would eventually meet him, hoping Hux would invite her to shadow a meeting one day.

During a weekly check in with Phasma, the older woman voiced concern that Lydia was being too overworked and offered to speak to Hux to lighten the load. Lydia brushed her off, telling her she was glad to be doing “real work” and not a glorified coffee runner. Despite a lack of actual editing work, Lydia knew this would be a great experience for her. She already worked with Hux on allowing her to add some of the editing projects he sent her way to her portfolio. 

When her fourth month at the company finally rolled in, Hux lets her shadow him at a meeting, but she was also in charge of taking notes for him since this meeting he had to put all his focus on the CEO of the company. Hux spent almost an hour each day the week before the meeting briefing Lydia on what to expect, he even had Lydia schedule a lunch with Anne and another vetrean secretary to reinforce expectations. Anne introduced Lydia to Satine over lunch at a lush Italian restaurant, Satine has been with the company as long as Anne. Satine often worked with Mr. Ren when he was in between secretaries so she has had the most experience with the ruthless ceo. Lydia at first was not nervous for the meeting, until Hux had requested this lunch for her.

“Satine and Anne, this lunch has been great. But why is everyone so serious about a meeting with Mr. Ren? I know how to behave in a meeting, Mr. Hux allows me to sit in when the office heads meet.”

Anne and Satine exchange knowing glances, Anne decided to be the one to answer.

“Meetings with Mr. Ren are different, most secretaries spend a year working under someone before they are invited in. You have only been with us for four months and Hux has never kept a secretary long enough for them to shadow him. He obviously sees something in you and wants to impress Mr. Ren.” Anne said before taking a sip of her cappuccino. 

“Secretaries are a reflection of their boss, and Hux is very particular about his appearance. Do not tell him I told you this, but he always tries to impress Mr. Ren. And well you see, Mr. Ren is the type to ignore you when you do something right and yell at you when you mess up. Hux has often been on the other side of Mr. Ren’s anger when a secretary breaks an NDA or emails the wrong file. He wants you to be perfect tomorrow, powerful men have fragile egos.” Satine added.

Lydia thought fruitfully of the information the women in front of her just shared. For the first two months of her job there Hux did not allow her to email Mr. Ren directly, she was told to send it to Hux then he would forward the work. After proving she was not incompetent, Hux allowed her to send emails to him directly but he still read over the emails on her computer before she hit send. His standards were high but Lydia worked hard to meet his expectations. Lydia was confident she would be able to make Hux proud with her behavior. The women left their meal to return to work and finish up the day’s duties. 

Half an hour before Lydia was due to clock out, Hux once again went over her duties for tomorrow, confirming the notes Lydia took down the previous week were still correct. He eventually excused her and told her to get a very good night's rest. Lydia bid him goodbye and left to return home.

She made sure to pick out her outfit for the next day and had Rose confirm the outfit to the dress code policy and her notes. She made sure everything was immaculate the next day, if she was able to impress everyone at the meeting tomorrow, hopefully a promotion would be in her future.

Lydia wore a red blouse and a matching black blazer and pencil skirt set, she even wore a fresh pair of nude pantyhose. Lydia made sure her makeup was simple but still made her look beautiful in order to keep her confidence, she straightened her black hair so it fell over her shoulders like a sheet. She wanted to reflect the values and virtues of The First Order; she refused to embarrass Hux and Phasma. This meeting will be pivotal in her career in editing. Poe made sure Lydia ate a granola bar and took her medication before leaving the house, today was not the day for a panic attack. Lydia fussed at him when he tried to kiss her head, not wanting him to ruin her hair. She drove off with a travel mug full of warm raspberry tea for a small caffeine boost. Lydia arrived a bit too quickly to her office, she wanted to arrive a tad bit early to make sure everything was ready for the day.

She waited at her desk, making sure her notepad and pen were ready to go, she quickly checked her emails, corresponding Hux’s schedule with a few clients, until Hux arrived a few minutes after Lydia did. A brand new all black tux fitted his form, newly shined shoes adorned his feet, and as always perfect hair. He ensured her they had 30 minutes before they left for the meeting so Hux would have time to go over his emails and the pre-meeting briefing Phasma sent out. After 30 minutes ticked by, Hux exited his office and gestured his arm for Lydia to get up and follow.

He led his secretary down the halls until they reached the elevator, Hux swiped his ID so the top floor button became an option for them. Lydia rarely saw the office outside of her floor. 

“Lydia as you know, all the department heads will be there with the CEO, you will sit on my right hand side and take notes for me. I expect your normal professional behavior. I know I have been over this a thousand times, but this is very important to me.” 

Lydia nodded to her superior and assured him it was okay as he had drilled her this past week about today. Lydia made sure she was ready with her few pens and pad of paper to take to the meeting. Once the elevator reached the top floor and the doors slid open, he led her to a huge meeting room, the table ran the length of the room, chairs filling the rest of the space ensuring room for department heads and their individual secretaries. Hux sat a few seats away from the head of the table, Lydia taking his right side. Lydia was unsure of how the seating chart worked but she believed Hux to be important since he was so close to the front. She focused her eyes on the blank notepad and quietly drank from the water glass that sat in front of her. 

Phasma greeted everyone and told them the CEO would be arriving in five minutes, the air was tense but secretaries made light chatter among themselves to fill the time. The elevator ping that could be heard in the meeting room pushed the room into a dead silence, Lydia swore you could hear a pin drop. The door to the meeting room opened, and Lydia could feel her jaw about to drop.

A gorgeous tall man with black hair strode into the room, his high cheekbones framed his face well, his lips were a beautiful shade of pink and full, a slight scar cut through his cheek and the way up to his eyes. He scanned the room, making eye contact with everyone in the room and nodding his head at everyone, then he met Lydia’s eyes.

“Good morning every-” He started, but a gasp from Lydia cut him off.

Within seconds, what felt like an intense burn crossed them. Lydia cried loudly as the pain became too much to bear. It took the room a minute to realize what was happening between their CEO and this fresh faced secretary. The CEO grasped his arm, refusing to let out any noise that would represent pain. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, the terrifying CEO now frightening her.

“Clear the room, except for her!” His deep voice bellowed out, his voice was more alluring than Lydia could ever imagine, it nearly dulls the pain for her, but the burn just returns. Lydia could feel blood running down her forearm, she considered herself thankful for a black blazer today. Lydia can feel her hands tremble and begin to shake, yelling was her Achille’s heel, she could feel tears leaking down her face. 

“Who are you?” He asked angrily. Lydia felt herself try to answer, but the pain just leads to a cry escaping her throat. He stomps his way to her and pulls her from her chair, his fingers digging into her upper arm. He backs her into the wall, his steps heavy. Kylo slammed his hand above her head, caging her in with him.

“I am not going to ask again, Who are you?” 

Lydia takes a deep breath, allowing his deep voice to soothe her pain. 

“Lydia Taylor, Mr. Hux’s secretary sir.” She blubbers out to him, embarrassment sinking in as she begins to cry.

“Ms Lydia, take off your blazer.” Lydia looks at him with shocked eyes, fearing the worst of his question. “I am not going to do anything to you ,” he assures her, his tone going soft as his eyes meet hers.

Lydia carefully peels her blazer off herself, letting Kylo drink in her form, she straightens herself up, bringing him eye to eye with her, the girl stood only an inch or two shorter than him in her heels. Lydia unbuttoned her sleeve and rolled it up, revealing her marks that sit on her upper forearm. A yellow heart with a P, two interlocked pink hearts with a C, and new to her collection, an angry red heart with a K branding the middle, blood stained her pale skin. Lydia knew the pain was searing but did not expect to want to pass out from the pain of her mark. 

Kylo stared at her intently, wondering why the universe put them two together. He remembers Phasma gushing about a sweet sensible girl she hired to work under Hux, innocence radiating off of her, he tried to ignore Phasma going on about this girl’s history in volunteering at Nature Centers and libraries growing up. Lydia has felt like hours have gone by since the staring contest with him began, confusion and torment clouding his dark eyes. 

“Your turn.” Lydia said trying to sound brave, breaking the dead silence they found themselves in. 

“NO” he yelled, confusion now clouding Lydia’s soft blue eyes.

“You cannot be my soulmate! Not some silly little secretary who clearly has no place in a business setting. You ruined this meeting, you pathetic girl.” He practically spat at her. 

He turned on his feet and made his way to the door, when he made it to the door he turned around one last time. 

“Get the hell out of here and go home for the rest of the day.” He left the room, leaving Lydia alone in the big empty meeting room. As soon as the door slammed behind him, more tears escaped her eyes, a sob caught in her throat. She took a few minutes to find herself again, adjusting her sleeve and putting her blazer back on. Lydia ran her fingers under her eyes in an attempt to clean up the mascara that must be running down her face at this point. She momentarily curses the lack of water-proof mascara in her collection. 

She gathered up the pens and notepad then left the meeting room. She found her way back to Hux’s office, after ignoring the various stares from the other secretaries on the floor. Rumors spread quickly, especially when a no name employee stopped a meeting with the CEO. She knocked on his door, a smooth “come in” floated through the doors. Lydia found herself standing in the middle of Hux’s office with Phasma in one of the other chairs.

“uhm-Mr. Hux, Mr. Ren told me to go home for the rest of the day.” She managed to tell him, without looking either of them in the eye, instead focusing on a random spot on the floor. 

“What he says goes, so go home for the rest of the day, I will borrow a temp from downstairs.” Hux nodded slightly to his terrified secretary, and excused her. 

Lydia barely remembers getting into her car and driving home, she practically dissociates as she makes her way to room to throw on a long sleeved sweater and leggings after she showers to remove the dried blood from her skin and hopefully shock her to an alert state, which ultimately fails. She crawls onto the couch, wrapping herself in a fluffy orange blanket Poe bought to add a splash of color to the room, mindlessly letting daytime TV playthrough. Finn, Poe, and Rose came home at 4:00, an early day for them, but it still left Lydia plenty of time at home alone to space out. 

“Oh dear Lyd, are you okay?” Rose immediately asked when they noticed the spaced out girl sitting in silence as an old off the air show reruns played in the background. Poe practically jumped to sit himself next to Lydia and hold her to his chest, he wraps his arms around his forlorn partner. Finn shuts the TV off and sits next to Rose, crowding the couch with their presence. 

“Did you get fired?” Finn asks, voice so light as he tries to be polite, afraid of upsetting his usually perky roommate.

“Finn don’t be rude.” Rose snaps at him and lightly hits his chest.

Poe just rubbed Lydia’s back and placed kisses on the top of her head, “Come on Princess, tell us what happened, please we’re worried about you.”

Lydia looked at the faces of her worried friends, a pang flashed across her heart, she had stressed her friends out. She cuts the silence and answers by rolling her sleeve up, revealing the irritated fresh soulmate mark. Her friends gasped at the angry mark, her being the first one of them to receive a true love mark. 

Questions filled the room, why aren’t you with him? Who is he? Where is he? Fresh tears filled Lydia’s eyes, the true fear has sunk in, the fear of being rejected. A slice would be made through the universe and the tattoo that sat on her flesh, rejections were rare but could still happen, it would be as her soul was slashed apart. 

Lydia managed to recant her story, the flash of torment she saw in her soulmate’s eyes, the vile words she spat at her, the cold voice instructing her to go home. She managed to avoid the fact it was the CEO of The First Order, until Rose asked a simple question.

“Who is this cruel, disgusting man?” She asked softly, hoping to not further upset her upset friend. 

“Kylo Ren, the CEO of the company.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room, Finn, Poe, and Rose sharing knowing glances. Too many Kylo Ren did not exist ten years ago, he rose from the shadows just 5 years ago with one of the biggest up and coming companies, his personal life kept very private. Besides the few hundred snapshots of him with his arms wrapped around leggy blondes, dripping in designer jewels. Long sleeves never revealing any of his soulmate marks. 

Finn, Poe, and Rose know the truth, where he came from, who he was before Kylo Ren. On a particularly bad night at the Christmas gala, Han had drunk one too many and told them who Kylo Ren truly was. 

“Kylo Ren is not a good person Lyd,” Poe said, continuing to hold his platonic love, Finn and Rose mumbling in agreement.

“Do you guys know him personally?” Lydia asked.

The crew mumbled not exactly or not really. 

“Then what you know is rumors or what others have to say, let’s not judge my true love until we actually get to know him.” Lydia said, ripping herself from Poe’s grasp and stomping herself to her room. She doesn't even know her true love, but her heart broke at hearing her friends say mean words about him.

“Lydia, he is not a good person, you need to reject him.” Poe said, calmly trying to approach the crying girl. 

Lydia felt tormented, Kylo was rude and vile to her, he did not deserve her standing up for him to her closest friends. She wanted to return to Poe’s arms but she also wanted to be as far away as possible from him. 

“Lyd, I-” 

Poe is cut off by Lydia slamming her door shut, she knows she will have to deal with the consequences later of hurting her best friend’s feelings, but right now her heart is burning for her true love. Lydia laid herself in her bed, staring at her new mark, unsure what this mark would bring. She fell into a restless sleep, insecure about what work will bring her tomorrow. 

Lydia wakes up at 6am, to a poor night’s sleep, waking up every so often and crying herself back to sleep. She showered as her crying last night and ignoring Poe made her forget to take care of herself, she quickly ran through her morning routine of makeup and hair. Refusing to let it look like she spent the night crying. 

She makes her way down the hall and to the kitchen, noticing Poe with his back to her at the counter making himself breakfast. She quietly makes her way towards her shorter counterpart and wraps her arms around his waist. 

“I’m sorry for being a bitch last night, Poe,” she said then gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. Her lip gloss lightly staining his scruff. Poe, being the hotheaded man he is, did not respond to his friend clinging to him like a baby koala, and just continued working on his breakfast. 

“Poeee,” she whined, “If you forgive me I will make you your favorite dinner this weekend, maybe some dessert too.” Knowing she can sweeten the bribe with promises of peach cobbler. The sulking man finally lighted up, a small smile gracing his lips.

“You’re forgiven, sorry for being harsh about your true love Lyd, and you’re not a bitch” Poe said while handing her a muffin for her to eat as she drives, knowing she has to leave now or she will be late. 

After another kiss to his cheek Lydia hauled herself outside and hopped her into her cute car. She drove off, eating at red lights, and trying to focus her breathing. She eventually pulls into the parking lot and makes her way through the intricate building, proud of herself for ignoring the copious stares she receives from various interns, secretaries, and even department heads. Letting their whispers go through one ear and out the other, until Lydia made it to her desk stationed outside of Mr. Hux’s office. 

She paused, taking notice of Phasma and Hux standing in front of her desk, appearing to be waiting for her. 

“Good morning Mr. Hux and Phasma,” Lydia said, letting a smile grace her face, intending to hide any fear she had. 

“Ms Lydia Taylor, it appears you’re being transferred.”


	6. Truly Apologetic for his Dumbass CEO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped 2/27/21

_**Chapter 6: Truly Apologetic for his Dumbass CEO** _

Phasma gestured to the cardboard box they had on her desk, ready to be filled with personal possessions she decorated her desk with. Lydia respected Hux’s rules and only had a few possessions decorating her desk, a few photos of her friends and family, a unique little statue Cassian sent her from his travels to Germany, and the small cactus she rescued from the discount section of the garden section at a local store. 

“Where am I being transferred to?” Lydia asked as she trailed Phasma, without answering the question, the older blonde woman switched the conversation to something else, telling Lydia she has to practically take her through her first day again. Brand new NDAs, a new ID, access card, and everything else she had to run through when she first arrived. Nothing to hint to the new department she is heading to. When Phasma finished all the new paperwork for Lydia and led her to the elevator, that’s when it clicked for her. Phasma swiping an access card and clicking the top floor button, a floor almost no one has access to. Lydia was being transferred to work under Kylo Ren. 

The top floor looked different from the rest of the building, no walls building up hundreds of individual offices, something similar to what Leia has set up at The Resistance. A large open air office, except for a meeting room in the corner that actually has doors and walls. Instead of light colors, cozy looking furniture, everything was black and sleek. Phasma directed Lydia to a gleaming black desk, directing her to unpack and then do nothing but wait for Mr. Ren to direct her.

Phasma quickly left, leaving Lydia alone in this huge over the top office, she placed her few possessions throughout her desk. Photos from various events in her life, graduating high school and college, a gorgeous photo Cassian sent over from his wedding photographer of Lydia and Poe dancing, summer in New York with the crew, Jyn and Kat, with the sun being limited on her new desk she decided she will take her cactus home tonight, and Cassian’s statue sits proudly next to her computer monitor. Lydia listened to Phasma and waited patiently for her new boss to appear. Waiting well past an hour for him to arrive, fashionably late for someone who is running a company.

The elevator dinged, alerting Lydia to someone making their presence on the top floor. She could feel the air escape the lungs as he stepped through the threshold, a perfectly pressed black suit, an expensive watch adorning his wrist, his wavy black hair framing his ever so beautiful face. Being just near his presence relaxed Lydia, melting away her worries from last night, the air was just soothing. It is like how she felt around Cassian and around Poe but more intense, like standing in the beautiful blue ocean on an island and wind softly playing with her hair and clothes, a deep calm washed over her. She stared at the tall brooding man as he walked over to her desk, his eyes still filled with torment and confusion. 

“What are you doing here?” He snapped to the girl who had clearly already made herself comfortable at his secretary's desk. 

“Phasma told me I was being transferred and brought me up here.”

The man huffed at her response, “Great, I knew I was getting a new secretary but did not expect it was a pitiful excuse for an employee.” 

His words practically stabbed holes in the waves of relaxation that Lydia was feeling in his presence. Despite his words, he never seemed to look at her in anger or disgust, Lydia sensed anxiety in his eyes, torment and confusion swimming in his eyes. Lydia’s mother always told her you can see people’s true selves in their eyes, no matter his cold facade Lydia will find her way to read his true emotion. 

Kylo made his way to his personal desk and grabbed a matte black folder. He dropped the folder on her desk and instructed her to read it through and begin her duties as secretary. His pitched tone told her she would not receive special treatment just because they are true loves, but his eyes gave him away. 

Kylo Ren was fighting the universe, trying to reject the destiny it had chosen for him. But whenever he finds himself in her presence, he freezes, unable to form the words of rejection. He barely manages to be cold to her. He keeps his sentences short to her when he has to speak to her, communicating with Lydia via email for much of the first day, even though she was barely 20 feet away from him. 

In the midst of a normal busy day, Kylo forgot who he invited to come pick him up at the end of the day. Lydia was familiarizing herself with Kylo’s schedule and working on correspondents for the last 15 minutes of her shift. The elevator ping alerting her to a guest making their way to the office. A gorgeous girl in a gray wrapped dress steps through the office, black heeled boots wrapped up her ankle, stray hairs dangling in front of her face, falling from her hairdo. As the beautiful woman made her way to Lydia’s desk, Lydia hopped right into her secretary duties.

“Hello ma'am, do you have a meeting with Mr. Re-” The gorgeous girl not even stopping at the secretary's desk and walks straight towards Kylo’s desk. The CEO already standing with his jacket in his hand, ready to leave gives the mysterious woman a quick kiss on her lips. Lydia’s heart dropped straight to her stomach, a burning sensation wrapped itself around her forearm. 

Kylo walks hand in hand with the mysterious woman and stops at Lydia’s desk for a quick second. 

“Ms. Taylor, this is my girlfriend Rey, she does not need an appointment to see me. You are free to leave for the evening.”

Lydia felt her face flush hot, seeing another girl holding the hand of her true love, Lydia mumbles out a quick yes sir and prepares to leave for the evening. The couple leaves as Lydia gathers up her things, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Lydia refused to let herself cry at work again, she has to get through the office, get in her car, and drive home before she can absolutely break down. 

The elevator travels almost completely the way down, but stops at one floor, the floor Lydia is most familiar with, the one she worked on for months slaving away as a secretary. Hux steps through the elevator door and sees the face of his old secretary. The elevator ride is pretty quiet until Hux breaks the silence,

“I am assuming you found out about the girlfriend.”

Lydia nods, trying to hide her sniffles, keeping a brave face.

“I’m sorry for this happening to you Ms Taylor.” Hux said, seeming truly apologetic for his dumbass CEO. The elevator ride ended and they exchanged quick but awkward smiles. Lydia makes her way to her trustworthy bug, drives herself home, knowing she at least has many shoulders to cry on.

Lydia eases her car into a stop at the red light, her mind wanders as the pop music station plays a popular song from the 90s. She daydreamed about what her life should be with an amazing soulmate who loves her and does not want to fight her existence in their life. She could be wrapped up in a blanket with a beautiful woman with blue hair or baking brownies with a sensitive man who feels no jealousy towards Poe or Cassian. Instead she sits in her car, alone, holding back a wave of tears. She notices the sleek black car pulling up next to her, she glances over only to meet the chocolate eyes of a broken man who has been avoiding her all day. 

Her grip on the fuzzy pink wheel cover tightens, she moves her eyes straightforward, ignoring the couple who happened to be at the same red light as her. She could feel his anxiety and pain radiating from the car. Her brain felt fuzzy, craving the ability to comfort him but also being angry at the ill-tempered man who’s destiny will forever be intertwined with hers. She glances one more look before the light turns, only to regret it as she meets the eyes of the gorgeous, model of a girlfriend who suits his sophisticated world. 

Lydia is thankful that their car turned at the light as she drove straight on, heading home to the warm arms of her best friend. She laments about her late nights, leaving her roommates up to the nightly chores, only available to cook on the weekends for them. Poe never learned how to cook properly, his mother’s teachings going through one ear out the other. She misses the relaxing time she took to cook, alone from her rowdy roommates as she banned them from the kitchen when she was cooking or baking. It was like meditating for her, but she lost that while she worked for The First Order. 

She pulled her trusty bug into the driveaway, seeing they beat her home again and were probably reigning hell in her kitchen. Poe was trying to cook with Finn, figuring out how to make a decent ramen as the last few attempts failed. They heard the door open and figured it was Lydia coming home, assuming she would hop straight to her room to change to comfortable clothes and grabbing whatever book she was working on. Instead she made her way to the kitchen, staring at the two adult men who were trying to cook noodles and cut up the ingredients without slicing a thumb off.

“Poe, I need you.” She said, startling the boys from trying to figure out how to slice the pork. 

“I got this Poe, go take care of her,” Finn told his counterpart who was fighting the cooked pork with a bread knife. 

Finn summons Rose to give him a hand while Poe takes care of his platonic love. Poe leads Lydia down the hall to her room, rubbing her back as sobs flow freely from her. He helps her change into cozy clothing, out of her restrictive clothing and painful heels into her fuzzy hello kitty pajama pants and an old t-shirt from a concert they went to in High School. They move to her bed, Poe acting as the big spoon, holding her close to him. He ran his fingers down her back, trying to comfort her. 

“You were right Poe.” She said, her voice sounding strained and broken.

“No I wasn’t, I was-” She cut him off from finishing his sentence.

“He has a girlfriend.” 

A silent understanding passed Poe’s face, he remembered how Cassian immediately broke things off with Lydia when he found his soulmate. It was a common understanding to leave anyone you were seeing once the true soulmate mark appeared. 

Poe’s heart began to twist, his best girl was hurting from this monster. He pushed his anger down knowing it’s not what she needs right now. She needs love, comfort, and someone to be there. Lydia let her tears flow free, a never ending cycle of tears and hiccups, Poe tried his best to stop her from hyperventilating, having her hold his chest so she could mirror his breathing. 

Eventually Rose and Finn brought in a tray of food for the pair, a handful of cookies on the side that Han dropped off at The Resistance today. Poe got Lydia to eat at least half of her bowl of ramen and nibble on a cookie or two, knowing sugar would make her feel better. In the midst of the meal Lydia mentions she would like to go to that fancy club again, Exegol, if Leia would swing it. After Poe convinced Lydia to take a shower and he cleaned up the dishes, he sent a quick text to his boss, saying Lydia was having a rough time and would love to go to Exegol again. 

He expected Leia to be down for the night, but instead she responded in 10 minutes saying she got the owner to keep the crew listed permanently and to once again use Leia’s tab. Poe told Finn and Rose they were going out tomorrow to cheer up their friend, since tomorrow would be Friday they could properly drink with their sad friend. Once showers were taken and pajamas were slipped on, the pair slept in the same bed, something they do often for comfort in each other. It came in handy when Lydia lost her grandma or Poe had to break up with his first love. Poe held his best friend, letting her know they were going to go out tomorrow, and assured her everything would be all right. 

Lydia surprisingly slept well that night, Poe’s calming energy kept her at bay while her emotions ran amuck. When her dreams of Kylo would flutter through, Poe’s energy would sweep them away, keeping her mind focused on a good night's rest and reminding her of the good times. Poe helped his girl get ready in the morning, he was proud she managed to eat more than half a muffin. He slipped some granola bars in her purse, hoping she would snack on them later. Poe threw on some jeans and a plain t-shirt, grabbing her car keys.

“I am driving you to work today, Lyd.” He said, using a tone of voice that leaves little argument to be made. He makes the 30 minute drive in her trusty bug, telling her he would be there exactly at 5 to pick her up. After a quick kiss on her head, he sent her off to survive the work day. He triple checked this morning that she had her necklace on and one of the charm bracelets from Cassian. Knowing they gave her some calming energy. She just had to make it through this Friday, then she will spend the night with her closest friends. Poe already roped Rose into picking Lydia’s outfit and doing hair and makeup tonight. 

Lydia made her way through the halls of her work, understanding the gossip was less about the true love mark, and more about Kylo’s girlfriend of three months, his longest relationship yet. Phasma did her best to shut everyone up, understanding the pain a true love mark would leave on someone. Lydia kept her face serious throughout the day, speaking the minimum amount of words she could with her boss. She communicated mostly through email to him, refusing to look him in the eye for any reason. Lydia performed her expected duties with an air of professionalism. 

Once the clock hit five, Lydia gathered up her belongings, wanting to leave at five for once and not stay late in this hellscape of an office. She was making sure her purse was secured and her phone was in her blazer pocket when she heard footsteps coming towards her desk and ignored them until a shadow loomed over her. It was him.

“Lydia, I-”

Lydia looked at his face for the first time today, stopping his sentence. He lost all train of thought when she looked into his eyes, his words stopped in his throat, nearly forcing him to choke on them.

“I am sorry sir, I am off the clock for the rest of the night, Have a good rest of your night Mr. Ren.” Lydia said with a pinched expression, sadness framing her eyes. She turned on her heel and went to the elevator, praying to all the deities that Kylo would not take the elevator down with her. He did not follow her, instead he just stared at her as she made her way to the elevator. Her heels clicking the whole way, her behind swaying with the movement of her legs. 

He had so much to say to her, about the events that have transpired since her appearance in his life. But she allowed no moments throughout that day, her serious expression and three word conversations making him feel like a kicked puppy. 

Kylo decides to do what he does best, he goes down to Phasma’s office. He tells her they’re going out tonight, the normal spot, and invite Hux and the Knights to join them. Phasma smirks, knowing what a wild night they will have.


	7. Oh Sorry Dude, Wrong Table

_**Chapter 7: Oh Sorry Dude, Wrong Table** _

Poe drives his girl home, brings some fresh hot chocolate when he picks her up, hoping the warm drink will soothe her. He keeps the conversation light with some of the antics he finds his interns doing, earning a few giggles from his quiet counterpart. 

Once they arrive home, Rose is a whirlwind around the heartbroken girl. She manages to have Lydia shaved, dressed, hair done, and in makeup under an hour. Rose already finished her own look for the night before Lydia returned home. 

She commands Lydia to slip into the tiniest underwear any girl can own and put on the dress she laid on her bed. Lydia wondered to herself if the dress Rose picked out could be considered an actual dress. It was a tight bodycon dress Rose convinced Lydia to pick up at a thrift store, she may have dug it out from the lingerie section but after a few quick sews she made it an appropriate party outfit. Lydia decided she was too exhausted to put up a fight to the ridiculous dress and pulled the dress over her curves. Rose was in a similar dress she upcycled from the thrift store lingerie section, her dress being a blue satin while Lydia wore a crushed black velvet dress. 

The shoes were the final surprise, Rose already managed to help Lydia pack a tiny clutch purse that could barely hold her lip gloss tube. Lydia was waiting on the couch for her friends to finish up. Rose came down the hallway clutching two pairs of heels. Lydia realized the bigger shoe in Rose’s hand was for her. 5 inch pink crushed velvet heels that matched the lip stain Rose brushed over Lydia’s lips earlier. Poe or Rose must have snuck that pair in, waiting for the day they could bust them out for Lydia.

With a quick roll of her eyes, Lydia reached her hands out, accepting the gorgeous tall heels. Knowing her now 6 foot 3 stature would intimidate club goers, but this is the night Lydia stopped caring. She will show off her gorgeous skin in a tiny dress, not caring if her curves were offensive, and she will allow herself to tower over everybody. Her boys came down the hallway at the same time, since the uber was only a few minutes out.

The crew piled into the uber, excitedly chattering about their plans for the night. Poe clutched Lydia’s hand, constantly pulling her into the conversation, not letting her thoughts cloud the night. They quickly make their way through the bouncers and are directed to a different but very similar VIP booth, the same waitress from their last experience was there, just as cute and bubbly as last time. 

She starts their night off with fruity cocktails and some brand new appetizers the club was trying out. Lydia pretty much drinks her entire strawberry daiquiri in one sip, she was ready to get blasted. Once the waitress returns, Lydia orders shots of the strongest drink they have, Finn and Rose politely decline the what could be battery acid shots so Poe and Lydia each take two shots of the burning liquid. Lydia after drinking another strawberry daiquiri demands Poe to take her to the dance floor and show her off with his dance moves. 

The pair make their way off to the dance floor while Finn and Rose work on the delicious somehow high end nachos the waitress dropped off for them. Poe twirled and spun his girl around, using simple foot movements to not confuse her with more intricate dances. They dance well for an hour, looking like a perfectly in sync couple to any party goers. Only stopping for another drink of fruity cocktails before hitting the floor again. 

“Lyd, I need to use the restroom, can you make your way back to the booth?” Poe yelled at her over the music, the drunk girl nodded her head and gave him a thumbs up. She dances her way through the crowd to return to her booth, she plunks herself down into a velvet coated lush booth. She looks around for her other counterparts and sees they have disappeared, she then looks for her purse and notices it is not in the booth. 

After noticing the cups of what appear to be scotch or bourbon and wine flutes, Lydia realizes she has sat herself in the wrong booth. She giggles at herself for being a fool and begins to scoot out of the booth when she runs herself into a warm wall. The man about to slide himself into the circular booth pauses once he realizes an intruder made her way into the booth. 

“Oh Sorry dude, wrong table.” Lydia tells the giant wall that stops her from scooting out. The man continued to move and sat himself next to the drunk girl. Lydia finally looks into the eyes of the mountain that will not let her leave. 

Kylo Ren sat right next to her, looking as beautiful as always. An expensive red button stretched across his chest, a few buttons undone, his sleeves rolled three quarters of the way, stopping right below where his soulmate marks should lie. A red and black watch adorned his wrist, black pants catching themselves around his waist and muscular thighs. He stares intently at his drunken true love. 

Lydia, ever so confident, now that alcohol coursed through her system. 

“Kylo, move. I do not want to be near you right now, you asshole,” Lydia said while pushing her hands against his chest in an attempt to move him. 

He  _ giggled.  _ She felt fury at him, laughing at her attempt to get away from him. She once again pushed her hands against his chest, trying to ignore the warm feeling that fluttered in her stomach. 

He wraps his hands around her wrists, her hands still firmly planted on his chest.

“Why so angry little rose?” The ends of his mouth twitching into a small smile. 

“Because my soulmate is a narcissistic dick!” She hissed at him.

“You don’t really think that Lydia.” He said, his presence looming closer to her drunk form. 

Lydia’s hands froze, grasping at his shirt that cost more than her entire outfit and then some. He was close enough to her that she could smell his cologne, something like the ocean but still having masculine undertones. 

“Yes I do! You’re a bully and I hate you.”

Her body felt drunk and sober at the same time, calmness and excitement all rolled into one. Her hatred turned into something else. Kylo released one of her wrists and placed a hand on her cheek. 

“Then why aren’t you pushing me away?” He asked, sitting closer to her. 

“I want to kiss you now.” he told her, his hand stroking her cheek.

Lydia let out a light gasp, her brain screaming no but her body screaming yes. She leaned into his touch, allowing him to engulf her with his arms. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him. He brushed his lips against her cheek, guiding himself to her lips. As if he was testing the waters. When she didn’t recoil in disgust, he kissed her deeper. Her hands slid from his chest to around his neck, twirling the bottom of his hair. Lydia felt like she was on fire, every nerve in her body was shaking, her anger turning into passion. Feeling braver than ever she wove her fingers in his hair, latching herself to him. 

A moan escaped her lips when he pulled her closer to him, the heat of his body cooling her exposed body. He took that chance to slip his tongue into her mouth, the urge to be closer to her crawled out his body. 

He loosened his grip on her and abandoned her lips. He pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Come home with me.”

Lydia pulled away from him, fear in her eyes. 

“No, no, no, no.” She said, anxiety filling her voice. 

“You can’t be a jackass, kiss me, and expect me to go home with you just because you’re my soulmate Kylo.” 

Lydia scoots herself around the rounded booth, wanting to get as far away as possible from him, she leaves the VIP spot they were cooped up in. She sees him get up out of the corner of her eye.

“Do not even think about following me Ren.” Her voice ice cold as it was earlier in the day whenever she had to speak to him.

“It’s not like that little Rose, I just want to talk.” Kylo, nearly begging to her. 

Lydia walked away from him, finding her way in the crowd to the booth her friends sat at, looking worried that their slightly unstable friend disappeared for a while. Poe was the first to notice her returning to the table, like a sixth sense to him. His eyes focused on the frustrated girl, barely missing the tall brooding man that trailed behind her. 

Poe, being the man that he is, practically flew from his spot. When Lydia was within arm’s reach, he pulled her behind him, shielding her from the CEO who had chosen to mess with her heart. 

“Leave her alone Ren, she clearly wants nothing to do with you.” Poe yelled at Kylo.

“This has nothing to do with you Dameron, you do not get to stand between me and my soulmate.” 

Lydia, who stood behind Poe, clutching his hand. Put two and two together. 

Why would Kylo Ren know Poe’s last name?

Lydia steps from her position behind Poe, Kylo assumed he had won. 

“Wait, Poe do you know Kylo?” She asked, catching Poe in his lie about the man earlier this week. 

“Well I-, it’s well complicated Lydia.” Poe stuttered out, not realizing how tall Lydia truly was in her heels until now. 

“That’s bullshit Poe,” she spat out, “Can’t believe two of my soulmates decided to hurt me at the same time. I’m leaving.”

Rose trailed behind Lydia, holding both of their purses. Finn began to follow the two girls, nodding his head to Poe, indicating for Poe to follow the crew before a nasty fist fight broke out. 

Poe did not want to disappoint Lydia again, his heart already hurting. He sneered one more time at Kylo, storming off following his friends. 

Taxis lined the street, waiting patiently for drunk patrons to stumble out of the club needing a ride home, so the crew finding a way home was no problem. The taxi ride was full of thick silence, anger radiated off of Lydia. Her mind running a million miles a minute, trying to choose her words carefully once they were in the comfort of their own home. 

Finn and Rose nearly flinched entering the dark and quiet home, knowing an intense fight would disrupt the house. They quickly excused themselves to their own rooms, wanting to avoid being in the middle of a soulmate quarrel. 

“What the hell, Poe!” Lydia yelled once she heard the doors to their rooms click shut. 

“What was the point of lying to me about my true love, like I wouldn’t learn the truth eventually? Between you being my platonic and Kylo being my love?” 

Poe looked both angry and apologetic, a perfect storm of these two emotions brewed in him. 

“I wanted to protect you Lyd, the Kylo Ren I knew is a monster and I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt since the universe decided to pair the two of you together.” Poe calmly said, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. 

“You should have told me the truth, that’s what we’re supposed to do for each other. This world is full of horrible liars. I don’t need two of my soulmates treating me like this.” Tears fully slipped down Lydia’s face as she wrapped her arms around herself, as if her arms would protect her from the horrors that night. 

Poe opened his mouth to retort, but no words left his mouth.

“I am done for tonight Poe, leave me alone.”

Lydia left the conversation, going to her room where she saw Rose had left her clutch on the bed. After slamming her door, Lydia pulls off her outfit and shoes, leaving them on the floor, an issue she will handle tomorrow after sleeping off the pain she felt. Lydia wrapped herself in her coziest pajamas, using a face wipe to remove the artistry Rose had painted on her face. She tossed her phone on the charger and pulled her quilt up to her chin, trying to bury herself in comfort. 

Trying to forget the night that just happened.

Meanwhile back at the club, Kylo returned to his friends. Vicrul and Ap’lek were back in the booth already, after they already failed enticing some ladies to go home with him. The rest of their group already paired off with various clubbers, except Phasma who cozied up to the bar to talk to her brother who works the bar. 

Vicrul, who was leaning on Ap’lek, in their usual platonic soulmate style, asked if the fiery black haired goddess was the reason for Kylo’s extra brooding mood this evening. Kylo glared at the cheeky man who sat there feeding his best friend some weird dessert the overly perky waitress dropped off for them.

“I’m turning in early,” Kylo said, after finishing the rest of his bourbon. The once giggling pair sat in shock as they watch their mountain of a friend make his way to the coatroom. They have never seen him turn in early on any night they spend at Exegol. Kuruk and Cardo usually were the ones dragging Kylo out as Vicrul and Ap’lek tried to hold each other up at the end of the night. 

After Kylo was home and undressed from his flashy party clothes, he laid in his big empty bed. His hand flutters over his lips, remembering the feeling of his pretty soulmate pressed against him, kissing him. The combination of alcoholic drinks and her pretty pink lip gloss, she tasted like strawberries and watermelon, like a delicious summer fruit plate. He fell asleep, agitated, feeling the emotions of his dejected soulmate, who was curled up in her bed with an old quilt crying silently. Neither of them were at peace with this eventful night nor were they ready for the consequences at work on Monday.


	8. A Major Asshole with a Dark Side

_**Chapter 8: A Major Asshole with a Dark Side** _

Lydia wakes up, her head pounding, all of her drinking from the night before coming back to bite her in the butt. She pulls herself out of bed and pops her head out of her room to check that the hallway was clear. She quietly made her way to the bathroom for a much needed shower and to take a couple of painkillers to reduce her headache. 

The warm shower soothed her aching muscles, she rarely goes out and dances in extremely high heels. The shower created a synthetic warmth down her body, akin to what she feels when she's around Poe. She noted the differences she felt between the two boys, Poe was warm and calm, but Kylo was fiery, passionate, something dangerous. She worries momentarily the latter man would become addicting to her. 

Shaking the water from her hair as she was shaking the thoughts out of her head, she tried to push away any feelings she had formed about Kylo. Even though he is her soulmate, he’s still a massive jerk. 

Would his behavior ever change? She wondered to herself as she wandered back into her room. She put on her favorite pair of pajama pants to lounge in, Valentine's day themed ones she bought four pairs of so her and her friends can all match, and a comfy tank top. The nostalgic pieces in her life always cheer her up, whether or not she was fighting with the person who centered around the nostalgia. Always wearing her necklace even though Poe sometimes woke up on the wrong side of the bed or clutching her various charm bracelets as she cried when Cassian found his love. 

Lydia decided it would be best to give Poe the morning and afternoon to cool off, she did promise to cook him his favorite dinner and she fully intends on keeping her promise. She figured she can soften him up with breakfast for dinner and a homemade peach cobbler with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. Then sit on the couch with his head in her lap, letting her fingers comb through his hair, they would be able to talk out this ridiculous fight. Being angry at Poe always caused more harm than good so Lydia would rather fix it sooner than later. 

She hid out in her room for most of the morning, begging Rose to bring her a muffin and some water, which she did eventually with much attitude. Lydia surfed through her social media feeds, ignoring the text messages from an unknown number that were signed “KR.” Lydia figured he got her number from some work file but she felt no need to respond to him, despite that aching feeling in her stomach. 

Once afternoon rolled around Lydia figured she should put on some real clothes and run to the grocery store to get a few ingredients she knew she was missing for tonight. After getting changed and grabbing her purse, she crept around the house, looking for any signs of Poe being nearby. She felt like a lame assassin but anything to avoid her best friend for now. Lydia made her way successfully to her bug without being detected by anyone in the household, she made her merry way to the local grocery store. 

After grabbing some fresh peaches, ice cream, Poe’s favorite brand of coffee, and a few extra items needed for her meal, Lydia is on her way home. Lydia felt more relaxed than she has in days. Just driving in her car, blasting 80s glam metal, and knowing she was going home to cook a fantastic meal for her friend. 

She finally arrived home and brought all her supplies into the kitchen, putting away frozen goods first. Lydia was happy that the kitchen was void of life so she could begin her baking and cooking adventure. She wrapped an apron around her body, a lovely pink and black one that was replicated to look like aprons from the 1950s. 

Lydia prepped and put together the peach cobbler, knowing it had to begin baking first. She then turns her attention on the meal for tonight. She started to whip up pancakes, sausage, waffles, fresh cut up fruit, and every ridiculous breakfast item she could think of. 

After hours in the kitchen, Lydia finally finished the meal around 6:30, only having to kick Finn and Rose out a few times who wanted to steal a strip of bacon or a piece of strawberry. She set the table with their mismatched dinnerware, the table overflowing with food that will last them at least a few days. 

“Dinner’s ready!” She called out, she already had Finn recruited to pull a sulking Poe out of his room. Poe had similar plans to Lydia, but he chose to pout in his room all day and angrily work out instead of cooking a magnificent feast. 

Finn literally dragged Poe down the hall, Poe muttering a few swear words in spanish. Lydia could hear Finn threatening to carry Poe like a baby since he was acting like one and she giggled at the comment. Rose was trailing the boys, acting as wall so Poe could not make an escape back to his room.

“Finn, I am not hungry!” Poe snapped at him. 

Finn, Poe, and Rose finally make it to their dining room that is full of mouthwatering dishes. Poe, still in his pajamas, slightly more stubble than usual since he was too angry to shave, stood there completely shocked.

“I’m surprised you didn’t smell this being cooked, Poe.” Rose said, taking a seat. 

“I think he was too busy brooding in his room,” Finn added, slipping into a seat next to Rose.

“Well I did promise you dinner Poe.” Lydia said with a hopeful smile on her face. 

Poe finally sat down in a chair, “I guess let’s eat,” he said as Lydia took her spot next to him. He quickly squeezed her hand before piling his plate with food. The conversation flowed, as they subconsciously made the choice to keep things lighthearted and fluffy, after a stressful week it was well needed. Lydia made sure Poe ate his fill, then surprised him with a still warm peach cobbler. He happily ate food, adding his two cents to the topic of conversation when he felt the need to. Lydia knew she had her best friend hook, line, and sinker. 

After the meal was cleaned up and bellies were full, Rose and Finn excused themselves, leaving Poe and Lydia alone. Lydia followed through on the rest of her plan, she sat on the couch and got Poe to lay on her, letting her play with his hair. She also let her fingers trace his skin as they talked. 

“You know I was trying to protect you, Lyd. I really meant no harm to you.”

She nodded, letting her fingers curl into his hair. They talked for hours. Each taking their turns about what they were sorry about, what scared them about this true love, what it meant for their friendship. 

“My love is never going to change for you, I handled you and Cassian perfectly fine. I will learn to handle you and...him.” 

“Well it was easier back then, Cassian wasn’t a major asshole with a dark side.” Poe retorted

Lydia tugged his hair a bit, to let him know she found that rude, the man let out a small ow. 

“Poe, I really don’t know what to do. He’s my soulmate but he’s only been rude to me. If I go to him right now, he won’t change his behavior, he won’t grow as a person.”

Lydia knew, she was going to have to change her life drastically. 

She spent her night cuddling with Poe, catching up with him. Being mad at him for two nights took a toll out on her, her energy feeling depleted until she’s near him. 

The rest of Lydia’s weekend was full of being with her friends and her letting them hype her up for her plan on Monday.

Rose had memorized Lydia’s dress code and was able to thrift and craft her the perfect outfit for her return to work. Something that is sexy and dangerous, but still followed the rules set forth by The First Order. Lydia needed a way to feel confident that day, something to push her through her plans and not waver to Kylo Ren. 

Monday morning, Lydia woke up and began the first steps of her plan. She styled her hair into loose curls, professional looking earrings adored her ears, a light smokey eye to give her the edge she needs. Lydia dressed herself in a tight mini skirt that was the shortest length possible to uphold her dress code, she buttoned her blouse low and wore a form fitting blazer. She made sure her necklace was secured around her neck and threw a charm bracelet into her purse for her to clutch throughout the day. 

What felt like no time, Lydia was out the door in gorgeous high heels and an upcycled leather purse strapped to her. She drove confidently to her work, blasting her favorite album from High School that always made her feel like a badass. Before she left, Lydia double checked that she had everything she needed for the day, she was not going in empty handed. 

The gossip in the office was getting out of hand, rumors of rejection, spinning Lydia to be a shrew or a prude, Lydia secretly in a romance with Hux or Phasma. It was all ridiculous. The whispers lowered as Lydia practically strutted through the hallways, keeping her head high. 

She made her way to Phasma’s office, ignoring the sweet secretary and letting herself into the office.

“Phasma, I need to be transferred.”

Phasma looked up in shock, the bold move Lydia pulled brought her out of the mountain of emails that built up over the weekend.

“Lydia, I cannot do that..” Phasma explained, pushing her glasses back onto her nose.

Lydia, smiled. She took a final deep breath and opened her purse to pull out a piece of paper.

“Understandable, Phasma. Then this is my two weeks notice, I will also place a copy on Mr. Ren’s desk. Have a great day.” 

Lydia left before Phasma could respond. She made her way to the elevator to take her to the top floor. She scanned her keycard and the elevator pulled up to take her to the office. The one she would be leaving in two weeks time. 

When Lydia makes it to the office, she sees Kylo already hunched over his desk, writing notes for whatever project he was working on. He looked up when he noticed Lydia making her way over, passing her desk. 

“What do you need, Ms Taylor?” Kylo asked, trying to focus on the paper in front of him and not the woman. 

She slipped her piece of paper on top of his work, “This is my two weeks notice, Mr Ren.”

Kylo finally looked up at her, Lydia almost felt regret doing such a bold move, his warm energy broke into cold waves. Like the ocean when it’s overcast, a storm is brewing. 

Kylo stood up, anger radiating off him. Her heart felt ice cold, she wanted to wrap herself in his arms and feel warm again. She wanted to feel like she was home.

“Well Ms. Taylor, if you care to leave so badly, today can be your last day. You’re just a secretary. We can easily replace you in a day.” Kylo said, keeping his demeanor cool, his voice slightly raising at the end. He wanted to scream and yell, throw his computer monitor off his desk. But the fear of seeing her cry again stopped him.

He never felt that before, not wanting to scare someone else. Actually caring for someone enough to stop. He always let his emotions show through, every bit of anger and hatred. He’s wrecked his office many times, he even wrecked his own home. He would simply hire cleaners to come through, clean up his mess, then pay a designer to redo everything in a short amount of time. He had the money to replace everything he owns. He could burn his house to the ground and be moved into a new place before the fire was even put out. 

Kylo had no idea what snapped in him, one moment he was hating everything she represented. She was someone the universe decided for him, he hated no being in control of his destiny. But then driving home, holding Rey’s hand, he wished it was the bubbly black haired beauty Phasma gushed about, when he looked in Rey’s hazel eyes that night, he only saw Lydia’s stormy blue eyes staring back. Kissing her made him feel disgusted, like he was rubbing sandpaper on his lips, her touch felt like blades being drawn across his skin. Kylo dumped her that night, giving her the same bullshit excuse, he needs to focus on work, it’s not you it’s me, we can stay friends, she quite quickly began yelling at him and storming at. Despite the angry words thrown at him like that, he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders.

But as Lydia slapped down the two weeks notice, the weight doubled and came crashing down on his shoulders, once again.

Lydia pulled her face into a tight smile, “I will take you up on that Mr. Ren.” Lydia gathered her things, taking personal belongings off her desk. All the years of photos and odd knickknacks she collected. She was glad she already had an empty box under her desk from when she moved a mere week ago. Lydia also stopped to make sure she was logged off from the computer so whatever ditzy girl who made secretary for a week would have easier access to log in. 

Lydia stood up, grabbing her box. “Alright Mr. Ren I am done here, I hope you have a great rest of your life sir.” She said with sass, hoping he would ignore the attitude.

“If you don’t mind me asking Ms. Taylor. Where are you going to work after this? Return to your precious game and hobby store?” Kylo asked standing a few feet away from her.

“If you must know, I am going to do temp work at The Resistance until I can find another job in publishing.” 

Lydia nearly dropped her box, seeing the broody man now right in front of her. He grabbed her box and dropped it on the floor next to them.

“Who do you know from The Resistance?” Anger finally flowing through him, his voice raising. He no longer felt cold, he was hot, like he was on fire.

“Poe Dameron, someone you seem very familiar with Mr. Ren.”

Kylo huffed, “What, so you runaway with Poe, he lands you a job. Did you have to sleep with him to land you such a deal?”

His words began to rile her up, Lydia felt her confident energy fading.

“Kylo Ren, you are such an idiot!” Her voice raised above his. 

“How dare you accuse me of that,” she lightly pushed him away from her, trying her hardest not to cry “If you must know Poe is my platonic soulmate. And he did not offer me the job. Leia Organa did. She heard about me leaving The First Order during Sunday Brunch and offered me a temporary job.”

Kylo felt broken hearing Leia’s name, like a cold knife being pushed into his stomach. The woman he’s avoided for five years. The woman and her husband were forced away and became his own person. 

Kylo stepped forward again, invading Lydia’s personal space. The back of her thighs hit the desk as he placed his hands on either side of her. He clutched the desk, staring her down. 

“How do you know Leia? Did she send you here to spy on me?” He asked, yelling. His voice finally breaking the barrier, the worry he felt for scaring Lydia melted away. He felt betrayed and hell if Lydia was not going to know that.

Tears broke Lydia’s eyes, she was afraid of the man in front of her. She ignored the gossip when she went to go get coffee in the cafeteria, how was a terrifying man with anger issues. She wanted to give him the chance to show who he was. And he was at this moment, proving who he truly was.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.” Lydia said, a sob piercing her throat. She knew her eyeliner was running and she was going to have to make her way through the office looking like a raccoon. 

“You’re lying to me Lydia, WHY ARE YOU LYING??” He grabbed her arms that she rested at her sides. 

“I’m not, I swear.” 

“Get out, get the hell out of my office Lydia.” Kylo sneered, stomping back to his desk. Lydia grabbed the box and her purse. Before she left the office she dropped her security cards and ID at the front desk, she did not feel like seeing Phasma or Hux or the greasy security guard that stared at her for too long this morning. 

Lydia sat in her VW for 10 minutes, wiping her eyes and trying to remember her breathing exercises her therapist taught her. She did it. She just needs to make it home and wrap herself up in Poe and hot chocolate. 


	9. Poe I know that smile

_**Chapter 9: Poe I know that smile** _

Lydia pulled her VW in the driveway, noting that Poe’s car was gone. Even though she had an emotional morning, she wanted time to herself to clean up before Poe can come home and smother her with love. 

Lydia made her way into the house, the silence calming her. It was different from the screaming, loud environment she experienced in Kylo’s office. Even thinking about the way he screamed and looked at her, hurt her. The pain welled up in her. Lydia decided to draw herself an over the top bath, with bath salts and a bath bomb, sprinkling dried roses on the top. She lit candles and played quiet music in the background. 

She lowered herself in the tub, feeling the day wash away from her. She already painted a clay mask onto her face. This was step one of getting over her true love rejecting her. The next step is Leia’s personal hairdresser who will be stripping the black dye from her hair and helping her achieve the bubblegum pink she missed so much. Lydia originally scheduled the appointment for two weeks out, but a quick text message said she would be going on Tuesday and most likely Thursday to finish the job. After she confirmed the appointment, Lydia relaxed into her bathtub. Her worries melted away as the rose aroma swirled above her. For the moment, she felt safe. 

After thoroughly soaking, her fingers pruned. Lydia wrapped herself into a fluffy robe she bought herself a few months ago. It was hot pink, way too fluffy, and had a cute cat embroidered over the breast. She washed her face, cleaning the clay away, feeling refreshed. She dressed in her comfort pajamas and grabbed one of her trusty teddy bears to hold onto until Poe was home. As Lydia relaxed into her bed with one of her notebooks that had yet to be filled, she glanced at her phone that was lighting up with messages. 

Unknown Number: Lydia, please talk to me -KS

Unknown Number: Lydia, I am sorry -KS

Unknown Number: Can you please come back to The First Order, I want to talk to you. -KS

Lydia looked at her phone, realizing who the unknown number was by the signature at the end. She felt angry at the messages, how dare he had the audacity to ask for her to come back and talk. He lost his chance to talk when he began to yell at her, accuse her of being a spy, whatever the hell that possibly meant. 

Lydia began typing out a response, a long angry response. Calling him every name she could think of, using words that would put a sailor to shame, and telling him to leave her alone forever. She had four more words to write,

I am rejecting you,

But she couldn’t. Those four words, were like pins and needles on her brain. She felt her heart being twisted, like barbed wire was being wrapped around it. Her lungs felt dry, so did her mouth. She could not type those four words out. 

She deleted the message, every creative curse word, her fantastic insults comparing him to a whiny teenager and a giant man baby. She put her phone down and ignored the messages coming in. She turned her attention back to her notebook, holding a pen in her left hand, and let the words flow from her. 

On the other side of the phone, Kylo Ren sat in his destroyed office, with a glass full of whiskey in his hand. He never felt regret for yelling at people, beating them down with his words, but this one hurt. As soon as the elevator doors closed, he felt tears slip down his face. He felt her pain, it confused him feeling someone else's emotions. The sadness turned to anger, he pulled his computer apart, breaking the glass decorations that sat on shelves and tables, he managed to flip over the table in his meeting room. The table took three to four men to even lift it, but in a fit of rage he turned it on it’s side, breaking the ridiculous decorations that sat on top of it. When his rage tapered out, he threw himself onto a couch that served a part of his waiting room, with a bottle on one side and a cup in his hand. He clutched his phone, texting the secretary who had the boldness to quit. His text messages fell more and more desperate the drunker he got. 

He eventually slept the afternoon away on the couch, sleeping through the cleaners who arrived after Phasma discovered the mess and made a few calls to handle the situation. She was mad at Kylo, seeing him let his soulmate go infuriated the woman who lost hers through no choice of her own. 

Phasma was someone who lost her soulmate. Phasma was waiting at a gala when she felt her arm burn, the pain 10 times worse than when she gained the mark. She knew she lost him before the phone call ever came. Phasma’s soul was ripped in half that day, a red scar slashing through her tattoo to forever remind her of her lost love. 

She left Kylo to sleep away on his couch, not bothering to wake him or help him emotionally. 

Lydia worked on her notebook, she wrote her emotions of the past weeks, short sentences flowing into poetry. The words that began soft eventually turned angry, her pen ripping through the pages as she felt her heart tear apart. Lydia was in love with the idea of love. Love was always in the back of her mind, she was a true romantic at heart. Her mom adored that about her daughter, her thoughts of love always so innocent. But Lydia sat in her bed, angry at the man who was supposed to be her true love, loving her with a heart full of purity and innocence. Not just a heart full of lust like the men she often found herself on dates with. True love to Lydia was supposed to be beautiful, like the end of a rom-com or chick flick but just on loop. 

Lydia felt angry at Kylo, angry at her childish idea of love, angry at the universe. Lydia felt like those nasty men who constantly told her that her idea of love was foolish and trivial were right. They were all right. Lydia after finishing the last few pages of her notebook with angry poems, she laid down and fell asleep. Her body was heavy and crying had taken its toll on her. She wrapped herself into an angry sleep, dreams of screaming at Kylo replayed in her head. 

Lydia slept the afternoon away, mirroring Kylo who slept on the couch in his office. She woke up when her roommates came home, always so loud no matter the hour they arrived home. Lydia got up, rubbed her eyes as she made her way to the hallway to see her two closest friends and her best friend. Poe had a mischievous look in his eye that followed his beautiful smile, that meant he knew something that Lydia did not. 

“Poe I know that smile.” Lydia said softly. Poe grabbed Lydia by the waist and spun her around into a hug and gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

“I will tell you what I know once you tell me why you’re home so early and did not text me why!” He said, excitement still beaming from his face.

“I had to go with Plan B and I was told to just end my work there today. I would have told you but I really wanted time to myself, Poe. Before you smothered me tonight.” Lydia told him, his arms still wrapped around her. 

“Come on, Poe. Tell Lydia why we’re so excited,” Rose said, clutching a few boxes in her hands that Lydia had yet to notice. 

“This Friday is the fabulous fall charity gala hosted at Naboo!” Lydia gasped. Naboo is a gorgeous museum in town that hosts the largest collection of historic books and texts in the United States. Lydia has never been there, the few hour drive combined with tickets always selling out on the days Lydia has off, it was her goal destination in her beautiful state. 

Rose cut in, “And Leia, got you a dress for the evening.” Lydia opened her mouth to decline the gracious offer but Rose stopped her, “Leia said this is a welcoming gift to The Resistance, so you cannot say no.”

Rose handed Lydia the box, Poe letting her go so she could appreciate the gift. Lydia put the box on the coffee table and opened the top. Lydia let out another gasp as she lifted the dress from the box. It was a gorgeous, off the shoulder red dress with long sleeves that flowed then tightened at the wrists. Silver pieces adorned the top of the dress and the waist, a high slit made its appearance when Lydia ran her hands through the material. Lydia stared at the dress, ignoring the few extra boxes Rose placed next to the dress box. 

“I cannot accept this dress or what’s in the rest of these boxes guys.” Lydia said as she placed the dress back into the box. 

Poe wrapped his arms around her waist, “Yes you can. You deserve this Lyd.” He egged her to open the rest of the boxes. 

Lydia opened the next biggest box, a gorgeous pair of black heels with red bottoms sat in the box, delicately wrapped in tissue paper. The next box contained gorgeous earrings and hair pins that all matched the accents on the dress. The next box contained a gorgeous quilted red chanel bag that made Lydia almost cry. The final box was slim and held a certificate. It was a certificate to get a manicure and pedicure at a local high end salon. Lydia moved the certificate and noticed a matching one behind it.

“Rose!” She squealed out handing both the certificates to her best girl friend. 

“Oh my god we’re going to Tattoonine to get our nails done?” The girls held hands and jumped up and down, yelling out their excitement to each other. 

“I will never understand girls, man” Finn said to Poe as the girls excitedly planned out their future nails. Rose already had a dress in mind for this specific gala so that's why she denied a dress from Leia, but she promised to take her offer the next time. She had thrifted a gorgeous beige coloured gown and knew it would sit perfectly in the atmosphere of the event. 

Lydia felt true bliss, she had two weeks to relax before beginning her job with her friends. Her first week she will be able to spend pampering herself for the upcoming gala. She for once in her life felt luxurious. 

She spent that night cuddled up to Poe as they watched through classic sci-fi films and ate take out. No one was in the mood to cook that night. Poe made sure Lydia was not letting her thoughts consume her, distracting her from Kylo. He made sure she got to bed and even waited around for her fall asleep. He knew she would survive and make it, she’s the strongest woman he knows, even if Zorii would kick his ass if she knew he thought that. 

Lydia spent her Tuesday with Leia’s fabolous hairdresser, a gorgeous woman with blue and white hair in gorgeous intricate braids. Her name was Ahsoka and she already adored Lydia from stories Leia told. Lydia had brought Ahsoka’s favorite drink from a local coffee chain that she asked Leia about last night, to thank her for switching her appointment in such a short amount of time. Ahsoka began her magic with stripping away the black dye, thanking the gods it was semi-permanent dye and not a generic box dye from the local drug store. Ahsoka delicately worked bleach into her hair, excited at how quickly Lydia’s hair lifted. They shared conversations about schooling, unique hair trends they notice, and the gala that was happening on Friday. The Resistance was holding this charity gala so of course Leia invited her hairdresser who grew to be a good friend. Lydia showed pictures of her outfit that Leia picked out and the inspiration she was looking at her nails and makeup. Ahsoka of course knew the workers at Tatooine and told Lydia who to specifically book an appointment with for the best experience ever. 

With Lydia’s hair turning blonde so quickly, Ahsoka decided she can put the pink dye in. Lydia grew excited seeing her hair return to the pink state she had it in for so many years. One of Ahsoka’s assistants brought over snacks for the two to enjoy as the hair dye settled in her hair. After a good amount of time Ahsoka washed the dye from Lydia’s hair, working in gorgeously expensive shampoo that would make Lydia’s hair shiny and protect it from any damage the day brought upon her hair. Lydia agreed to a trim on her hair, wanting to get rid of dead ends and add layers into her hair. Ahsoka blow dried and began her work on cutting. After hours of sitting in the luxuriously plush chair, Lydia’s hair was finished and returned to her favorite color. Lydia smiled as she ran her fingers through her hair, almost not believing how smooth and undamaged it looked. 

“Thank you so much Ahsoka!” Lydia wrapped the woman into a hug, despite meeting her today, she felt that they could become friends. Ahsoka walked Lydia up to the front, nearing the register Lydia grabbed her wallet from her small backpack.

Ahsoka gave Lydia a cute grin,

“Well you see, your balance has already been taken care of by a Mr. Organa-Solo.” 

Lydia smiled, her heart growing three sizes like the Grinch. 

“I can’t believe him,” she muttered to herself. 

Lydia pulled a tip from her wallet, as generous as she could possibly make it, and slipped it into Ahsoka’s hand.

“At Least take this from me, please.” Lydia said with such sincerity that Ashoka accepted the bills. After one more hug and a kiss on the cheek, Lydia bid her new friend goodbye. 

She would now have Thursday morning to herself. Rose will take a half day on Thursday so they can get their nails done, everyone was already given Friday off to get plenty of rest and enough time to travel to the event. Lydia just had to fill one and half days before the gala and keep her thoughts away from him. His texts were fewer but still desperate and sad sounding, Lydia only added his number to her phone so she can keep him on mute. But every once in a while when she is on her phone, her fingers will move towards the messaging app and she could flick through them. Like a force was moving her. She had to keep herself strong enough to not respond to him for a few days then her mind will be full of fancy drinks, a nice dinner, and dancing with nice men who come from all over to attend these charity galas. 

Lydia spent the few hours before her friends came home going through pinterest for inspiration for her look on Friday and some inspiration for her room. She wanted to keep her space fresh and organized and she had neglected her room during her time at The First Order. Lydia decided she would tackle her closet on Wednesday, as that would take at least five hours to do. Her gorgeous gifts from Leia resided in Poe’s much thinner wardrobe, waiting for Lydia to make room for the new pieces. 

Wednesday moved in a blur, she made a pile of donation clothes for Rose to pick through before she made a trip down to a local thrift shop. Her closet thinned out after she tossed the ugly clothes The First Order made her purchase. Black blouses and gray pencil skirts were not her style and hopefully will never have to be again. Lydia was glad to toss out her nude pantyhose finally. Lydia organized her closet in a gorgeous color gradient, making it nice to look at for once. She carefully brought Leia’s gifts to her rooms and made home for the pieces. The jewelry placed in her jewelry case that her mom passed down to her, the bag and shoes staying in their protective cases, placed away from the walls and the one spikey belt she held onto from high school. The dress came with a specific hanger and bag to hold the beautiful piece in. Lydia never wanted anything to ever happen to this dress, it was almost too perfect to wear. 

Lydia spent that night wrapped up in a book on the couch while Finn and Poe played against each other in video games. Poe loved the fact Lydia could comfortably wrap herself around him and read while he spent some time with Finn. Her legs thrown in his lap or leaning against him, just different ways to stay in contact with him physically. 

She spent her Thursday morning finishing the book as she waited for Rose to come home. Keeping her thoughts clear of Kylo and on the heroes and villains of her fantasy novel. An hour before Rose was due home, Lydia decided to get herself ready. She put on one of her nicer sundresses with some new sandals. She did light glowy makeup that she knew took no time to do and did a quick braid down her hair. She made sure to clean off leftover nail polish from the last time her and Rose painted their nails on a drizzly Sunday afternoon. 

Rose arrived as Lydia double checked the certificates were tucked safely in her purse. Rose quickly changed from her work clothes to a nice skirt and top set, then touched up her makeup. The girls made their ways to Lydia’s VW, excited for the afternoon of pampering. Lydia passed the names of the nail technicians Ashoka recommended to Leia so Leia could put in the appointment for them. It would be harder for two no names to get specific nail technicians at the last minute. Lydia drove her trusty little cars about 25 minutes out from their home to the gorgeous building that held the Tatooine spa. White walls with beautiful greenery wrapping up the columns. It was a gorgeous mix of modern and classic designs. 

Lydia and Rose, arms linked together, strolled up to the spa. They entered and went straight to a half circular desk that sat a gorgeous girl with immaculate nails and perfectly straight purple and blue hair. 

“Welcome to Tatooine, do you lovely ladies have an appointment with us?” The perky desk girl posed over the keyboard, ready to find them in the calendar. 

“Yes we’re Lydia and Rose, here under Leia Organa-Solo.” The girl’s eyes shined brightly at the mention of Leia. 

“Of course gorgeous ladies such as yourselves are with Leia. She is such a doll, we adore her here.” 

The desk girl introduced herself as Beru and found the appointment quickly, checking them in, appropriately. She accepted the certificates from Lydia’s hand and guided the two girls to the waiting lounge, a gorgeous white room with a wall fountain on one side, trays of sweet treats and flutes of mimosas awaited them. The two girls made themselves comfortable, enjoying the delicate pastries and perfect mimosas. After just a few minutes of waiting their techs for the day came by with nail swatches and all the possible options they have for their mani-pedis. Even down the scent of the essential oils and lotions used on them during the treatments. 

The talented nail techs conversed nicely with them, inputting their advice on color selections after viewing the pictures of the two dresses they showed them. Lydia decided on black stiletto nails with a red glitter accent nails and her toenails to be a pink that matches her hair, after all her shoes for the evening were closed toed. Rose chose a gorgeous nude that complimented her gown and some white glitter, her toes black to pop against the heeled sandals she chose. 

Once decided, the nail techs began their work on their hands first. Working through the steps of a manicure until the final layer of clear gel set, Lydia’s nail tech took some artistic liberties and added a black gem to the accent nail. Lydia adored her nail tech already, talking to Lydia about beauty school, the extreme nails she has done, and her hometown back south. The appointment took hours but felt like no time in the comforting aura of the nail techs who revealed they were true love soulmates. Two southern girls who found love in beauty school and made their way up the chain with unique designs and their abilities to push comforting waves of energy to clients. Within no time, Lydia and Rose’s skin were wrapped in rose and lavender essential oils, designer lotions from Italy that probably cost more than a month’s rent. After the girl’s nails were thoroughly pampered, the pair were sent home with goodies of lotions and oils to use at home and a sweet note for them to drop off with Leia who already called in a generous tip.

Lydia found herself nearly falling asleep during her pedicure, Rose pretended to not notice, but Lydia was exhausted. Constantly reading or writing, even cleaning her room at all hours of the night. Her dreams were raided with images of him, romantic scenes from movies or books played in her head, but instead she was the love interest and he was the knight in shining armor. She would wake up feeling disgusting and guilty, guilt from finding pleasure in the dreams. She pushed the warm fuzzy feelings and replaced them with energy from her books. Being rubbed down made her feel relaxed and comfortable for once but she pushed herself from a sleepy state once the first image of Kylo flashed through her mind. The treatment made Lydia feel better, she let the pair push their energy to her, sensing that something was off with Lydia. The nail techs gave them warm hugs to the girls before they left, telling them to make an appointment anytime, no need to have Leia make an appointment. 

The girls left the comfortable spa back to their home, feeling like they were dipped in gold and sang to by angels. Poe and Finn were already home working on dinner when Lydia and Rose returned home. They were greeted by the smell of garlic bread and Lydia’s favorite spaghetti sauce. Her heart felt warm as she made her way to the kitchen to wrap herself around Poe who was stirring a pot of pasta. 

“Poe did you find pink pasta?” Lydia asked peering over his shoulder. 

“Maybe I found pink pasta online a few days ago and it happened to come in right in time to start cooking dinner.” 

Lydia kissed his cheek and flashed her hands in front of his eyes, showing her perfect nails. He kissed her hands and told her to go wash up for dinner. Lydia dropped her bag of goodies on her makeup desk next to the makeup products she already laid out for tomorrow. Lydia was taking no chances on missing eyeliner or lash glue tomorrow, she wanted everything laid out perfectly. She was up at 3am washing her makeup brushes and sponge the night before. Lydia washed up and changed into some lounging clothes. 

She enjoyed her meal with her friends, laughing about something funny an intern said or gossiping about who’s secretly dating who. Lydia adored every minute with her friends that night, happily cozying up to Poe who surprisingly decided to read that night. Lydia had a book in her hand but eventually fell asleep wrapped up in Poe. Poe had noticed the bags under her eyes so he purposefully made cuddling to him an option so he could fill her with warmth. He tucked her into bed and laid himself next to her, holding her close, projecting dreams onto her so she could push away Kylo. She said nothing about them to him, but he knew. 

He always knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for over 200 reads!!!! Please drop me some comments and kudos! I promise things will pick up soon and get spicy -Lyd


	10. Why do you call me little Rose?

_**Chapter 10: Why do you call me little Rose?** _

[ _**Aesthetic for this chapter** _ ](https://lydia-ren.tumblr.com/post/625310379297390592/an-aesthetic-for-the-next-chapter-of-by-the-fire)

Lydia woke up from a full night’s rest, something she missed for a whole week. Poe’s arm was wrapped around her waist, a light snore emitting from him. Lydia peeled herself away from him to take a super long shower. She had to wash her hair, shave every last hair from her legs, and rub herself down the luxurious oils and lotions so they had time to set in before she slipped into her dress that night. After her shower, Lydia felt like soft silk, her all too fluffy robe wrapped around her body perfectly. Lydia changed into a large flannel and shorts, something easy for her to slip off when she was ready to put on her dress. She cooked a quick late brunch for everyone to enjoy before Rose and her had to set into getting ready mode. 

Poe never left her side once he woke up, taking his seat next to her when they enjoyed their brunch, helping her wash and put away the dishes closely. While Lydia opened her curtains in her room and set the appropriate lights for her to do her makeup to perfection, Poe cozied himself on her bed, watching as Lydia artistically painted her face and styled her hair. 

Lydia did a bold smokey eye with silver glitter on her inner lid, her skin was primed and ready for all the products she was slapping on. Lydia made the bold move to fill her eyebrows in pink, she wanted to catch everyone’s eyes tonight. She contoured and highlighted her face to perfection, taking her time to blend and set every step of the way. She held off of filling her lips with a darker red lipstick so she could snack before they left for the night. She perfectly placed her eyelashes with some tweezers, making sure everything was in place. She sprayed herself with setting spray, hoping everything would stay perfect for most of the night. Lydia began her work on her hair, curling and braiding different parts of her hair, laying in the clips Leia had gifted her. Lydia usually blew through her makeup and hair, but she wanted to take her time, making herself look utterly breathtaking. Lydia was silent during this time, letting soft rock music play in the air and the birds outside sing to her. Poe busied himself with one of Lydia’s well worn books. Lydia knew why he was babysitting her, but she allowed it to happen, enjoying his constant company for the afternoon. 

Lydia put on her earrings and made sure her necklace was secured around her neck. She spent last night packing the perfect bag for tonight, making sure everything fit perfectly in her new Chanel. She made sure to pack a mirror, wallet, lipstick, pain relievers, and room for her phone.

“Rose I am going to need help getting into my dress!” Lydia called out, kicking Poe out of her so she could put on fashion tape to hold her breasts in place for the night. Rose the whiz at makeup and hair had been done for about an hour, she already situated her underwear and fashion tape forever ago. She brought her dress and heels down to Lydia’s room, wrapped up in a bathrobe so as to not mentally scar the boys.

Rose helped Lydia get her dress on first, situating herself on her tiptoes to get over Lydia’s towering self. The dress flowed over her body, fitting her like a glove. The waist accentuated her form perfectly and not exaggerating her soft rolls. The slit fell high on her thigh, wearing anything but a skimpy thong would be room for disaster and flashing the rich businessmen and women her hello kitty underwear would be embarrassing. Lydia was glad for the ridiculous lace thong Poe got her as a gag gift once upon a time when Cassian fell into her life.

Lydia almost did not believe her eyes, seeing the gorgeous woman in the mirror full of confidence and oozing sex, in comparison of spending her past week in over-sized sweatpants and a t-shirt she stole from Poe that had a few too many holes in it. Lydia smiled at her reflection, feeling like royalty but then turned herself around to help Rose into the beautiful gown she up-cycled. The girls touched up their makeup with a few extra pats of powder, a swipe of lipstick, and a bit of lip gloss over-top. They then put on their lofty heels, Rose made a sly comment about the extreme height difference between the girls, keeping the joke light as to not make Lydia self conscious. Lydia sprayed on her perfume, a new black cherry scented one with hints of tobacco, it was a daring scent opposed to her everyday strawberry and vanilla, but it called to her at the little perfume shop, a gorgeous black bottle that screams daring and sexy, everything she was embodying tonight.

The women made their way down the hallway to their dapper men who wore bespoke suits and perfectly styled hair. Poe went out of his way after work to find a tie and pocket square to match his date for the evening, he matched the red in Lydia’s outfit perfectly. They looked absolutely dangerous, ready to blow away the stuffy men who always make a snide comment about Lydia, claiming someone with such atrocious hair and a taller woman than Poe should not be wrapped around his arm. 

Poe was blown away by Lydia, the red dress not clashing with her pink hair, and not so cheesy looking she looked like a valentine’s day card from the third grade. She looked ethereal and perfect. 

“Lydia, you are going to blow everyone away.” Poe said, grabbing her hand to give her a kiss. Pink tinged Lydia’ face, she will never get used to Poe’s compliments.

They quickly set up Poe’s phone, the one with the nicest camera, to take a few pictures. As always the pictures go from serious and glamorous to sillier and sillier, Finn wrapping his arms around Poe’s waist like an awkward prom photo and Rose and Lydia recreating the iconic titanic scene. They enjoy blasting social media with the “normal shots” but keeping the silly ones to print out and hang around the house, or to use as silly holidays cards to their close friends and family.

“Who’s driving tonight?” Lydia asked, adjusting her purse strap, once they finished laughing from their stupid poses, such as the iconic Charlie’s Angel shot. 

Poe gave her that smile, the smile that meant he knew something she did not. He opened the door and a gorgeous black limo sat in front of the house, Leia’s head popping up from the sun roof. 

“Get in you guys, we do not have all night and I am not going to live forever!” She said, raising a glass of wine. The crew made their way to the gorgeous limo, settling in, Lydia tucking herself between Leia and Poe. Han looked handsome as always in a brown suit and Leia in a dress that complimented her husband’s look and a light purple wash over her graying hair. Despite the years together, they always seemed to flow perfectly with one and another. Han always looked at her like she was the moon and all the stars, it always made Lydia think of her one true love looking at her like that. But that thought pained her tonight, not knowing if she would ever get that from Kylo. Poe felt her thoughts going darker and placed a hand on her thigh, to ground her and remind her of the moment. 

Lydia kicked the nasty CEO out of her head as Han poured everyone a generous amount of wine. They toasted to the evening and to Lydia beginning her work at The Resistance in a week. Leia was so glad to finally get Lydia under her tutelage, believing The Resistance would open new doors for the editor and writer. 

Finn, Poe, and Rose did not divulge why Lydia left The First Order to Han and Leia, knowing it was not their place to tell. Poe simply asked Leia if they had any job openings for Lydia. Leia, the one for dramatics, claimed she would always find a spot for Lydia if she ever needed a place 

Lydia was glad for the long sleeves of her dress, the red sheer sleeves matched the red in her soulmate mark, something she was not ready to talk about with the couple. Leia and Han politely did not ask her why she left The First Order, not wanting to bring down the mood, but they worried about a certain estranged son being a factor in it. Leia knew she would eventually pull the information from Lydia over tea and cookies. 

They talked excitedly about the night, Lydia excited for the tiny tours they put together for the guests to appreciate the pieces in the museum before dinner and dancing in the gardens. Poe was always a show and a half on the dance floor, always having the first dance with Lydia, then switching with Han to dance Leia around. 

They pulled up to the building, pausing in front of the over the top red carpet, another luxury Leia indulged in when putting together these charity events, if people felt rich and luxurious, they would be more charitable. A man in a red velvet jacket opened the door, allowing them all to file out. 

The men helped their respective girls out of the stretched vehicle. Poe put his arm out for Lydia, so he could escort her down the red carpet. She tried to not stare wide eyed at the building in front of her, but she was in awe of the beautiful museum she dreamed about so often. Lydia quickly adjusted herself, throwing on the smile she had perfected since her first gala with Poe. With Poe being such a young rising worker in the industry, business journals were circulating that he would become the next Leia and everyone wanted a shot of him and a quote to slap on an article about this wonderful evening. Poe knew how to work the paparazzi and journalists who buzzed him with questions, answering questions about the lovely lady on his arm, avoiding questions about whether or not he would be the next Organa-Solo, simply giving statements about the wonderful charity they were working with, urging people who had the means to donate even after the event. The pair looked gorgeous, always looking like a power couple to people who did not know them. 

They made their way to the building, Leia and Han already inside and Finn and Rose trailing them. Two perfectly groomed men stood in front of the bustling crowd of well groomed people from all across the business community ready to donate tonight. 

“Hello there!,” the older man’s voice boomed across the room, “I am Mr. Kenobi, the owner of this beautiful museum. This is my business partner, Mr. Skywalker.” 

The crowd politely clapped, buzzing with the excitement of the night to come. Most were excited to begin the wine and dining aspect of the event, but Lydia was most excited to see the museum, taking in the beauty. Poe clasped her hand, trying to keep her still as the two handsome men continued to introduce the night to come.

“We will be giving small tours of our beautiful estate then we will gather in the gardens for the rest of the evening. Please gather in groups of 10 and find one of our lovely hosts in a red vest to lead you through the museum.” Mr. Kenobi and Mr. Skywalker waved to the crowd, joining in with Han and Leia who planned on forming a group with some high ups to convince them to donate more than they usually do at these events. Han always entertained the young wives of the group, despite the graying hair and wrinkles around his eyes, they always swooned at his charm and the wives would pour out their checkbooks to the charity of the night. Leia was always more strategic, discussing with the men with old money and deep pockets, who needed a new image, which a donation and a picture with Leia would surely do. She was much like a general commanding an army while Han was the sweet talking cowboy.

Lydia spotted Ahsoka and waved her over to join them in their small group, she quickly introduced Ahsoka to her friends, Rose gushed at her about the fantastic job she did on Lydia’s hair. Rose quickly buddied up to Ahsoka as Ahsoka adored how Rose styled her hair and wanted some types. Finn scooped up a few shy interns that he found the most enjoyable to be around to join their tour group, as a few interns always seemed to be like nails on a chalkboard to him. 

Once they made sure they had 10 people, they allowed a lovely lady named Schmi to guide them around the place, she proudly spoke about her lil Ani, but they knew him as Mr. Skywalker, and even divulged that he and Mr. Kenobi were platonic soulmates. Lydia was taken back by the beauty of the museum, the gorgeous texts put on display took her breath away. She adored historic texts, the different ways of printing and binding was the cherry on top of the cake. The vintage printing press nearly brought her to tears. Poe laughed at Lydia’s passion for old texts, just another thing he loved about his best friend. She felt everything so deeply, even a stack of dusty old books. Lydia enjoyed conversing with Schmi, even swapping emails with the tour guide to keep in touch about the museum and historic books around the world, Poe was sure everyone in this museum would be receiving Holiday cards in December. Schmi would surely bring up Lydia to Mr Skywalker and Mr Kenobi, and slowly the entire staff will fall in love with the girl, that was just Lydia for Poe. She had a certain spark that makes people fall at her feet, despite her own insecurities. 

After the tour of the museum they were brought to the garden, a few tables already scattered with people. The ushers helped everyone find their assigned spots, Finn, Rose, Poe, and Lydia being seated together with a few others from their work that Lydia grew familiar with when she visited their offices to deliver hot drinks to her friends. A few spots remained open, Lydia was excited for the prospect of new friends, she secretly hoped they were people who belonged in the department she would begin work in on Monday. Lydia knew a handful of the workers at The Resistance, but she was hoping to meet more people who did work similar to her, to get a good look at the inner workings of the department, wondering if it was any different than the contract work she did a few times.

Lydia loved the gorgeous decorations that sparkled all around her, fancy lanterns and fairy lights that hugged themselves around trees and bushes, it made it look like crystals dotted the lawn. The bright lights revealed the gorgeous flowers blooming, rose bushes speckled the edges. Lydia squeezed Poe’s hand, excited for the evening of amazing food and dancing with various rich men who adored Lydia’s quirky hair. She hoped to dance with the dashing Lando who without fail would ask her to run away with him to Europe and live in a lavish castle, Lydia would always giggle and pretend to consider the offer, but he knew she would say no. He would pretend to be heartbroken and take his sadness out by donating massive amounts of money to the charity of the year. It was a fun song and dance with him, he would spin her around and drink fruity cocktails with her, admiring her form in whatever dress she was in. Lydia needed a night of handsome men flirting with her and dancing with her. 

The first course was brought to them, a delicate salad, the two seats at their table still remained empty. She engaged in light conversation with her friends, stealing croutons from Poe while he stole her garden tomatoes. Her and Poe were laughing as they played with their food like children while Finn rolled his eyes at their child-like performance. Lydia made a face at Finn when a voice broke their amusement

“I am sorry for being late, please excuse us.” A deep baritone voice said, Lydia knew immediately who that voice belonged to. Her heart began to burst when she looked into his deep woodsy eyes, her new tattoo began to heat up. The hatred and anger she felt for him all week melted away and turned into want, as she missed what could have been with her soulmate. Phasma was on his arm in a gorgeous show-stopping gown that complimented her features, she looked to Lydia with sad eyes, wishing the week happened differently.

Poe’s hand wrapped around Lydia’s, his jaw clenched at the man who stood over them. Finn and Rose kept themselves busy with their salads, keeping an eye out if they needed to stop Poe from strangling a man at a charity gala. Kylo asked the terrified usher if they could sit somewhere else, wanting to not take his no as the answer but Kylo knew not to cause a scene at a charity gala, Phasma would make his life hell for weeks if he made an embarrassment of the company. Kylo broke his stare on Lydia and Poe so he could politely pull Phasma’s chair out and take his spot next to her. 

Kylo looked handsome, a freshly groomed face and his hair looked washed and styled for once, Lydia could actually notice the texture and highlights of his hair, a small voice in the back of her head wanted to lace her fingers in his hair. His all black suit fit his form perfectly, it must have been tailored to him. An expensive watch adorned his wrist, almost all black with red detailing. Kylo looked like he walked straight out of a modeling campaign, with his clean cut features and broody pout. 

An awkward air filled the table, the table of awkward employees who were not in the loop grew confused at why Kylo Ren seemed so tense in front of the group as opposed to his normal mysterious atmosphere. The other employees carried dicey small talk throughout the course of the decadent meal, Lydia keeping her eyes firmly planted on whatever course they were being served. Poe kept his hand on her as much as possible, holding hers, a hand on her thigh, or wrapping his arm around her shoulder in between courses. He tried to send her calming waves, but Kylo Ren was affecting Poe’s own emotions. Lydia could feel everything between the two men, Poe’s resentment and Kylo’s fury. She did her best to keep Poe distracted between her, Finn, and Rose.

Lydia felt relief once the last course was served and a dance floor was cleared. She could finally get away from the man who burned holes through her and continue to keep Poe from stabbing Kylo with a butter knife. 

“May I have the first dance, my lady.” Poe asked her, as is tradition for these galas between them. She graciously took Poe’s hand and was extremely ready to have some fun tonight, because that is what she planned on doing. Poe knew exactly how to spin and twirl her so her dress would be showcased perfectly, making Lydia look like a dream. Lydia wanted to feel confident for once, have all eyes trained on her. As a plus sized girl in High School she never got that experience and Poe was happy to let her live out of her dreams. Soon the whole gala would see her exquisite dress and the beautiful girl who filled it out.

Other couples danced around them, many stood to the side, talking and nursing whatever beverage they had in their hands. No matter where Poe spun her, she could feel Kylo’s eyes on her. Her mark felt like it was on fire, her lungs felt dry. Too quickly the song ended and the crowd politely clapped for the first song of the night, and then the band continued to absolutely kill it for the rest of the night.

Lydia was asked to dance constantly, after her dance with Han, with familiar faces and with new faces. Ahsoka even got a dance in with Lydia, gushing over how she styled her hair for the night. Ahsoka said if Lydia decides to leave publishing and go into beauty, she will always have a chair open for her. Eventually Lando stole her away, continuing to make promises of a luxurious life in whatever country she chose, dripping in jewels if she chose to. Lydia denied his offer but accepted his offer to drink with him. She loved his tales of traveling the globe, he pulled a beautiful trinket he found in South Korea and pressed it into her hands. The bright pink reminding him of his forbidden love he fondly calls her. He drank with her, gushing over the gorgeous dress, planting his hand on her waist. She promised to have Leia share the designer with him so he can make a matching outfit with Lydia, and if she can get Poe to let Lando be her date she would gladly accept the offer. 

Eventually Lydia was pulled into a dance with a sweet intern who was a part of their tour group from earlier, he was a fresh faced baby still in college. He was extremely shy, but oh so polite to Lydia. She helped through the steps of an easy dance Poe drilled into her mind. She held a polite discussion with the young man about college and careers, until someone tapped on the intern’s shoulder,

“May I cut in?”

The intern let go of Lydia, and looked terrified at Lydia, he quickly apologized before he practically jogged away, hands shaking. Lydia looked up to see Kylo pulling her into a dance, of course he is the one to scare a poor intern who is probably trying to find Poe, Finn, or Rose. Kylo wrapped one of his big hands over Lydia’s waist, the other one holding her hand, it seemed the beast had some form of know-how when it came to dancing with a lady. She was held flush against his chest, the heels strapped around her ankles made her match him in height. 

“What do you want Kylo?” Lydia asked, trying to sound and looked irritated, but her racing heart and flushed cheeks told a different story to the man who was finally holding her close. 

“Why did you dress like this? Knowing I would not be able to resist you?” 

“I didn’t wear this dress for you,” She snapped back to him. 

“Why are you even here?” She asked, not waiting for him to respond to her comment.

“To donate like everyone else, my little Rose, and I heard you would most likely be at this event.” He said before he spun her out then brought her back in, once again pulling her to his chest. 

“I don’t know you thought you would get out of me, I have nothing to say to you.”

“Then don’t talk, listen to me.”

Lydia was forced to look him in the eyes, she mentally cursed the heels Leia purchased for her. Leaving no other spot for her to stare at to avoid his piercing eyes. He slowed down the dance with her, keeping her close to his body, the dance slowly turning more sensual than strained. 

“I want to apologize for my behavior. I am sorry for the way I have acted since you met me lil Rose. I was utterly horrible to you and there is no excuse in the universe for my actions. I thought rejecting you would be easy, as I did before, but being away from you caused me a pain like no other, it felt like dying over and over again. I need you in my life, my little Rose” 

“Why do you call me lil Rose, Mr. Ren?”

“It’s the flower of love, sweetheart. And you remind me much of the flower, alluring but you have such sharp thorns.”

Kylo dipped Lydia low, holding his gaze to her. Her stomach was bursting with warmth and excitement, she felt safe in his hold. She was torn between staying in his arms or finally taking Lando up on his offer for once. 

“Come with me Lydia.” Kylo whispered into her ear. He pulled away from her, holding his hand out for her. Lydia glanced around the room, she noticed Poe staring the two down.

He shook his head when Lydia made eye contact with him, his eyes telling her to get away from the beckoning man. She mouthed a quick sorry and placed her well manicured hand into Kylo’s warm hand, she hoped Poe would understand. Kylo pulled her through the crowd and away from the gala. Lydia prayed to whoever was listening that Poe was not trailing them. Kylo slipped them into the museum and into the art wing for some privacy between the couple away from wandering eyes.

Lydia sat on a cushioned bench next to Kylo who fixed his stare on a painting. 

“This is my favorite painting in the whole museum.” Kylo said, breaking the silence.

A gorgeous painting sat on the wall in front of them, it depicted a city in the clouds. It looked to be inspired by sci-fi, but also paid homage to classic designs. It was painted by an up and coming painter in Oregon who grew up on sci-fi books. Kylo spoke of meeting the talented artist at a show in New York, she was an eccentric older black woman with orange hair and huge glasses. Her hands always speckled in paint flecks no matter how many times she washes them. 

Lydia crossed one of her legs as they examined the art in front of them, revealing her thigh from the slit in her dress. Kylo ran his hand down her smooth, soft skin, appreciating how his hand wrapped around her thigh. 

“Lydia, please give me another chance. I know I said horrible, unforgivable things to you. There is no excuse for how I treated you. I want to change for you, be a better man, a better soulmate” Kylo said, eventually wrapping one of her hands into both of his, forcing her to tear her eyes away from the dreamy cloud city and look him in the eyes once again.

“It hurt so much to lose you, even though it was only a week. I need you in my life lil Rose. Life was nothing without you”

She found it amusing that such an immense powerful man would have such a perfect kicked puppy look. He looked sincere for the first time in the short time she knew him, his eyes were almost always full of fire, anger, and confusion.

Lydia stared at him, not being able to form any words for a few minutes. Her brain battled against itself, throwing out the possibilities of accepting love from such an angry man. Fighting always made Lydia anxious, remnants of her urge to always please people infected her, making her cry at the slightest voice raise. Her brain told her to run, find Poe, and keep herself in his arms all night, but her mark ignited at the thought. The universe must have a reason for pairing her with Kylo, her heart whispered to her. She let her heart take control, ignoring all the negative possibilities her brain listed for her.

“I will give you another chance, Kylo. But you really do have to change and prove yourself, I am not some weak woman you can bully and abuse, then come running back to me, expecting me to fall right back into your arms.”

Kylo smiled, feeling the pressure release from his chest. He felt elated, happy, the fire that burned in him was not angry, it was full of love for the first time in his life. He thought he felt love in the past, but nothing would compare to this moment with the love of his life in his hands. 

He moved a hand to her cheek, Lydia leaned her face into his hand, nuzzling the warm palm that caressed her face. Kylo scooted closer to her, bringing his other hand to her waist, holding her close to him. Her face close to his own, she could smell his cologne, a deep woodsy scent that danced with her black cherry perfume, creating a cloud around the couple. Her dark red lips were close to his full pink lips, a perfect contrast between the two.

“I want to kiss you properly now, if that’s okay with you?”

Lydia nodded, not trusting her voice right now. 

Kylo brought his face closer to hers and kissed her. Both of them, more sober than they were the last time, their skin growing hot as a blaze, as if the heat from them could take down the entire building they were in. Their lips molded each other’s perfectly, like they were created for each other. Her body was flushed against him, her lower body, deep in her belly grew warm, something she had not felt since her time with Cassian. Eventually Kylo pulled away from Lydia, both breathing heavily from the intense kiss, her lipstick already faded from the drinking and eat left barely a mark on him. 

“You look absolutely gorgeous tonight lil Rose.”

Lydia flushed pink, her cheeks matching the hair piled on top of her head. Kylo pressed another kiss to Lydia’s lips, a softer kiss. A kiss that was promising change, a different side of Kylo, a kiss to prove himself. 

“We should really get back to the gala Kylo.” Lydia said, running her hands down his chest. 

“In a moment I promise.” Kylo said leaning in for one more kiss before he escorted her back to the garden. Lydia wanted to curl up with him for the rest of the night, enjoying the paintings in the room, and just lazily kissing each other until a security guard catches them or the gala ends. She had two weeks of time to catch up with him, regardless that they had their whole lives to catch up. 

She wants to wake up with him, run her fresh set of claws through his hair, messing it up on purpose. She wants to wrap herself in one of his shirts and make breakfast for him. She wants to cozy up on the couch with a book in her hand and him holding her. She wanted everything with him. But she knew they had to take it slow, find a balance, and really talk about why he’s like this, get him the help he needs. 

Kylo got up first, adjusting his jacket, then put his hand out to help Lydia get up. Lydia was thankful for his help, not trusting her legs after so many breathtaking kisses. Kylo escorted her back to the garden, his hand wrapped up in hers. Lydia was grateful no one noticed the two returning together. The journalists usually left after the charity part wrapped up, leaving the regular guests to drink and catch up. Eagle eyed journalists often caught pairs leaving together, pushing rumors on their social media feeds to keep their standing in the journalist circles, Lydia remembers the one gossip site that discussed Leia’s many young dancing partners, wondering if the CEO was faithful to her soulmate, of course it was all false but Leia being well Leia, she printed out the article and framed it, boasting about her many lovers whenever Han is bugging her.

Lydia knew she had to return to Poe eventually, calm him down and explain everything. She noticed Poe at the bar, with his back turned to her. With Kylo the world seemed so right for a few moments, just wrapped up in him and his lips, but she has to face the cruel world that was waiting for her in dealing with a furious Poe. 

“Kylo, I have to go. Call me tomorrow.” Lydia said, hoping he would understand her responsibility for the night. 

He nodded his head and let go of her, watching her walk away from him, not caring if anyone saw him appreciate her walking away too much, she was gorgeous in every aspect to him. Even in the way she marched across the courtyard in red bottomed heels. Lydia made her way to Poe and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned around and was very clearly drunk, he stunk of a High School party. 

“Lydiaaa, you’re back. We missed you.” The drunk man practically sang to her.

“Yep I am back and you are drunk, let’s get you in the limo buddy.” Lydia told him, helping him get off the stool. 

“We can’t leave yet, the party just started Lyd.”

“Poe I am going to grab everyone else, and we are going home okay.”

Poe whined, not wanting to leave the bartender who he declared to be his best friend an hour ago. Leia and Han already left, they took a different car home as they grew tired and did not want to make everyone leave so soon, Finn explained to her as he helped Lydia carry out Poe. Rose held onto Lydia’s purse for her, keeping back her thoughts of where Lydia disappeared to. Poe seemed ever so upset earlier, drinking his troubles away and Rose could not find Lydia in the crowd to calm him down. 

The crew made their way home, Finn helping Lydia strip Poe down to his underwear so he would not ruin his very expensive suit. They carefully hung the suit up, leaving the drunk sulking man to be. Lydia turned herself back to her room once Poe was settled in his bed. She carefully stripped from her dress, making sure it was stored properly before she threw herself onto her bed in some lazy pajamas. Before she did that she knew she had to take her time to wash her face and undo her hair, letting it fall down in soft waves around her, sleeping in all those swarovski crystal pins and jewelry is probably not recommended. 

She slept alone for the night, but she dreamt of a warm beach and a tall brooding man holding her hand, loving her with his whole heart.


	11. I never learned how to cook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only edited like half of this chapter because I am exhausted and had a bad mental health week! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, it's nice and fluffy.

_**Chapter 11: I never learned how to cook** _

The raspy voice of once popular band lulled Lydia from her sleep, she squinted at her phone trying to figure out who calls at 9am the night after a gala. Her caller ID read “Douchebag Jerk” Lydia laughed at her creativity when putting his number in her phone. 

“Hello?” She asked, confused at the early hour. 

“Did I wake you little Rose?”

Lydia let out a loud yawn and informed him that he did. 

“Oh I’m sorry, I can call you back later.”

“No it’s fine, I’m awake now Kylo.”

Lydia felt a huge smile grow on her face, feeling like a giddy schoolgirl. She did not know she could feel so much joy just hearing someone’s voice. She read and listened to plenty of accounts of others talking about their soulmates, but she could never imagine the actual emotion she would feel. 

“Well you told me to call you and I woke up missing you. Would you like to come over this afternoon? To talk about what happened last night?” Kylo asked, his voice full of hope. 

“I would love that Kylo, I have some messes to fix up here and get myself ready. Text me your address please?”

“Of course, Little Rose. See you then.”

They wished each other goodbye and hung up, her finger lingering over the hang up button for much too long. Lydia hoped she would have time to shower before she would have to deal with a hungover Poe. She slipped herself into the shower, shaving for the second night in the row. She often tried to not do that, the risk of upsetting her delicate skin was too high. But she wanted to feel gorgeous again tonight. She supported Jyn in her choice to give up shaving, but she found a certain comfort in it. 

Lydia finished her shower and did a bit of her morning routine, putting off doing makeup afraid of her confrontation with Poe would raise emotions. Her hair retained the waves from last night so she left them be, loving the beach waves that framed her face. She threw on a brick red off the shoulder summer dress that she loved to wear in the fall. A cute belt and a dark cardigan gave her witchy teacher vibes and she adored that when her crew went to the pumpkin patch.

She chanted over and over in her head, I can do this, as she left her bedroom. Ready to take on the day. She cooked a hearty hangover breakfast for her housemates who partook in the free bar a bit too much last night. She made sure to grab the battle of aspirin and sit it next to three cups of water. One by the one they peeled from their rooms, each one looking more like a disaster than the last. Poe managed to slip a shirt on but still roamed in just his boxers, no form of pants in sight. They ate in silence, Rose claiming a headache from all the white wine she drank last night. In the car ride home, Rose told Lydia of a charming man who kept bringing her different types of white wines to try with the bite size desserts waiters were carrying around. 

Lydia’s dress revealed her marks, her soulmate marking looking less angry than it has for the past week and a half. It looked like it was always a part of her skin, it just sat so perfectly with her complexion and the rest of her markings. Lydia hoped to get a man-made tattoo around her marks once the last one came in, to frame the permanent marks. She never got Kylo’s opinion on man-made tattoos and hoped he did not mind as Lydia had a few herself already. Once breakfast was had and cleaned up, Poe took an amount of aspirin that no man his stature should take. 

“Poe, can we talk?” Lydia asked once Finn and Rose cleared the area. 

“What is there to talk about Lydia? He’s your soulmate, you belong with him. My opinion is of no importance.”

“How can you say that? Your opinion is important, you’re my platonic soulmate. I want you to learn to like him once I get to know him.”

“Lyd, I cannot argue with the universe. I will never grow to like this man. I will have to learn to deal with it, but I will never like him. Have fun seeing him today.” Poe kissed Lydia’s cheek and went back to his room, holding a cup of coffee like it was his lifeline at the moment. She felt like the conversation went nowhere with him, upset at his stubbornness. She pushed away the confusion of him knowing she was going over to his house that day. 

Lydia did her makeup with the few clean brushes she had, trying to keep a simple look to an eye-look that matched her outfit and as always, sharp wings. Her eyebrows were once again pink and her lips coated in a soft pink gloss that smelled of pumpkin spice. She loved fall and was excited to throw herself into the season, Halloween and her birthday, all rolled up in one week, what was not to love about the cozy season. She had inspiration from her pinterest board and planned for this year’s Halloween since they found the house they wanted to move into. Rose and her would thrift for perfect decorations and potential costumes sipping holiday appropriate drinks. The whole gang would find a Saturday morning to go to a local pumpkin patch to find gourds and fresh apples for caramel apples. Lydia would decorate the entire house, even breaking into their rooms to add some Halloween fun. Lydia grabbed her purse still packed for last night, she was not ready to pack it away just yet, still wanting to enjoy the gorgeous luxurious purse Leia picked out for her. 

Lydia slipped out of the house without saying goodbye, Poe knew where she was going and Lyd found herself not wanting to deal with Finn and Rose at the moment. She grabbed the address from her text messages and put it into her GPS app as she climbed into her car. Trying to sooth her nerves as this was the first time going over to his house and they will be alone, in a private setting. After a deep breath she pushed her keys into the ignition and pulled out of the driveway to make her way to his house that was a little over a half hour away, on the other side of The First Order building and a little ways past the river that cut the town in half. 

Lydia listened to her local rock station as the polite robot voice read out directions to her, letting the scratchy vocals and intense guitar solos take her mind off her beautiful soulmate waiting for her. 

She drives through the city she has called home for five years, venturing to the more well off side of the town. She’s only ventured to this side of town twice before, to get her hair and nails done through Leia’s connections. Even exegol bordered on the line, closer to her normal side of town. The side with her mom and pop shops, cozy thrift shops, and down to earth people who enjoy her quirky vw bug and pink hair. She was terrified of judgement on this side of town. Many of those who reside on this side drive rolls royces, bentleys, and Teslas. They owned houses with rooms the size of her house and drank wine that cost a month’s rent. She wondered if those who noticed her clunky bright blue VW bug traveling through their streets saw her outlandish hair and the troll doll that sits on her dashboard, she wondered what they would think of her thrifted boots and bright pink floor mats that adorn the inside of her car. 

Even Leia refused to live on this side of town, claiming they were far too snooty and uptight for her. Han was happy with whatever Leia wanted, fine with settling in a smaller house as long as it had a decent kitchen for his baking and a backyard for their well loved family dog, Chewbacca the III. Leia confided in Lydia that she often felt ridiculous in a big house full of expensive items that were getting no love in fear of breaking something, two people and a dog did not need a three story mansion in her opinion. Leia would rather be in a well loved house, full of warmth and memories. Lydia quickly agreed with the eccentric woman, dreaming of a sweet cozy cottage with her soulmate and a litter of kittens.

After 30 minutes of driving, she finds herself being guided down a gorgeous neighborhood, tall houses with immaculate landscaping line the entire way, something akin to the magazines full of Beverly Hill houses. Her phone’s GPS guides her to a house all the day down the road, a beautiful grey mansion with high black gates surrounding the plot of land, the three story house screamed classic gothic that she adored so much as a teenager. If Lydia was much younger she would assume a vampire or the Addams family lived here. 

She pulls up to the closed gate, staring at the keypad that would allow her through the gate. She glances at her phone to make sure she followed the directions correctly and her GPS did not happen to send her on a wild goose chase to the wrong location. One time her group of friends decided to take a trip to Oregon and they somehow landed at the Canadian border. The border agents found their story funny and let them rest up before they began their proper trip to Oregon. A new message popped up on her screen as she was reminiscing about their impromptu snowball fight with a few border agents on their break. 

_Kylo <3: _The keypad code is 0828, probably should have mentioned that earlier. <3

Lydia leans over and punches in the keycode, after the gates open with a flourish she pulls into the long rounded driveway. The landscaping is just as perfect as all the houses that line the street, red rose bushes flocked the door, like guardians of the house, and a weeping willow sits perfectly next to the house waiting for someone to sit under her branches and enjoy the shade. Ivy tendrils danced across the stoney exterior, Kylo would later indulge in her that the neighbors think the ivy tendrils are ugly and ruin the aesthetic of the neighborhood, which only made him want to keep them even more. 

Lydia parks her VW and steps out of the car, eyes full of amazement of the beautiful land she found herself standing on.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

She moved her attention to the direction of his voice, only for her to go breathless once again when her eyes landed on her striking soulmate. Kylo was leaning against a pillar that held up the covered patio, black pants clung to his legs perfectly, and a black button up with the top few buttons undone formed to his chest and torso like it was made for him. Even out of the office he was dressed to the nines, Lydia figured his shirt cost more than her entire outfit and her car. 

“Should be with the amount of money I throw at this place.” Kylo said chuckling at his own remark. They stood there in silence for a few moments, each of them admiring the other one’s beauty.

Kylo extended his arm, breaking the moment, with his hand open for Lydia to hold onto. Lydia grabbed onto his hand, letting him lead the way through his over the top house. He let her know where to leave her shoes and purse, a little area in the foyer with a shoe rack and hooks for various purses and coats. She was blown away by the decor of his foyer, her curiosity made her want to explore the rest of the house to look at every extravagant painting and decoration.

He finally noticed the tattoo of sunflowers, roses, and lavenders that wrapped up her ankle, like a gorgeous bouquet. Kylo figured he was so distracted by her lavish dress yesterday that he did not notice the artistry on her leg. When she takes off her cardigan to hang on a hook he sees the top half of a moth tattoo, colored with pinks and yellows. Kylo’s mind wanders, thinking about what other tattoos that could be hiding underneath her fall appropriate dress, he wants to explore her body and find every single man made tattoo, but he kept that to himself, not wanting to scare the poor girl. 

Instead, he took her on a tour of the house. Showing off the first floor that held the living room, his brand new kitchen with a matching dining room and breakfast nook, a gorgeous backyard that held a pool and an amazing garden. After she heavily complimented his kitchen he brought her upstairs to show her a few more rooms such as guest bedrooms and finally, his study.

His study was lined with books, bookcases that reached the ceiling. Plush leather sofas, love-seats, and chairs speckled the room. His all black desk was neatly organized, a matching monochromatic sleek laptop sat on top of the desk with a cup full of pens and a few folders. No fun decorations or photos decorated the desk, similar to his office at The First Order.

He invited her to sit with him on a love-seat, he took her over to a love-seat, as she gaped at his extensive library. He pulled her into his arms as they sat down, wanting to touch her as much as possible without crossing a line. Lydia leaned into his touch, practically purring when he drew mindless designs on her skin with his fingertips. She wanted to stay there forever, letting him run his fingers up and down her body. Nothing sexual about the moment, it was full of innocence and him just wanting to be close to her. They cuddled up in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence. 

“Lil Rose, I’m not an easy man to love.”

“That’s not going to stop me from trying, Kylo.”

“I don’t mean that I only have anger issues,” Kylo sighed, “I have done terrible things, burned many bridges. People are scared of me.”

His voice wavered,

“They look at me like I’m some kind of monster, not a man.” 

Lydia pulled herself out of her arms and sat up, she grabbed his face. 

“Kylo, look at me,” she said softly, “What you did in the past does not reflect who you are right now or who you’re aiming to be. The only reason I would run from this house screaming is if you killed a man in cold blood or voted republican in the last election.” 

Lydia finished her sentence by kissing his entire face, paying special attention to the scar that cuts through his cheek. Kylo was not used to being touched so softly and delicately, like she was afraid of breaking him. She finished her adventure around his face with pressing a final kiss to his lips. Lydia let Kylo take control, consuming her with an all fiery kiss. 

And that is what they did for hours, kissing each other, cuddling, and Lydia sharing tidbits about her life to him. She talked to him about her love of books, how she met Poe, and whatever brought her joy. Kylo settled himself playing with Lydia’s hair, still wavy from last night, just as pink. 

“I got sick my freshman year.” Lydia confided in him as he played with her hands. 

“It was a strand of necrotizing fasciitis, it found its way through a cut in my foot. I had about five surgeries and even went septic for a time being. It was a long grueling process. But Poe was there for me. He brought his schoolwork with him, watched over me when my parents needed a break.” 

“That sounds really scary lil Rose.”

“It was, but I had my family. I had Poe. He held my hand when I got my man-made tattoo on my scar. The one on my foot.” 

Kylo placed a kiss on her shoulder, “It’s a gorgeous tattoo.” 

Lydia indulged him in more of her hospital stories and he hung onto every word. Even though it happened nearly 9 years, the memories were always fresh in Lydia’s mind. She struggled with her body for a long time, afraid no one would love someone so scarred, scars landscape her lower back, upper thigh, and her left foot, she often compared herself to Freddy Krueger, despite Poe always telling her to stop putting herself down. Her confidence grew when she got a beautiful tattoo done by a sweet local artist. She learned to love herself, Cassian helped too with never being afraid of the stories in her body. Lydia rarely told her story to her one time dates, a red mark never appeared on her and it was not worth it mentally to drag down a date like that. 

She wanted Kylo to know, see that she’s imperfect too. She could sense his face scar haunted him. She also wanted him to know so he was not surprised when they became intimate together. Her tattoo was so gorgeous, people rarely noticed the dent in her ankle. It is why she detested tights, they accentuated the cave in. Her lower back was covered in spongy skin, never returning to the soft supple skin she has. Her skin grafts took from more than one spot, leaving her upper thigh and lower back scarred. Poe held Lydia as she cried the first time she wore an exposing swimsuit after her hospital day, and one of their old friends freaked out, calling Lydia ugly and deformed. 

“You’ve been quiet for a long time, Lil Rose, what’s on your mind?”

“Hmm, how about we go eat!” Lydia said, standing up and grabbing his hands. 

“We can go anywhere you want or I can call my personal chef in?”

Lydia stopped, “You have a personal chef?” She asked, never had she met someone who actually had one. 

“It’s kind of embarrassing,” Kylo said, looking shy, “I never learned how to cook.”

Lydia smiled, knowing what they were going to do today. 

“Show me the kitchen, you’re going to learn today.” 

Kylo held on her hand and guided her back to the gorgeous kitchen she got a peek of earlier. The entire kitchen was full of black monochromatic appliances, splashes of red and greys. Lydia began to familiarize herself with the cabinets and what equipment he has. She thought to herself she was going to have to change his all black coffee mug collection. She pictured her colorful giraffe mug that has a tiny giraffe molded inside the mug next to his blank dark mug. 

After looking through his ingredients, Lydia decided to teach him how to cook Gnocchi Skillet with Chicken Sausage and Tomatoes and a quick simple salad. Lydia noticed he seemed to handle himself well in the kitchen, he only almost cut off his finger once or twice. They both seemed to dance around each other perfectly in the kitchen. Kylo would press a kiss to her head or shoulder whenever he moved past her. Her cheeks were permanently stained pink in his presence. They sat together in a breakfast nook Kylo has in his kitchen, claiming his dining room was not intimate enough for them. 

“I don’t think I’ll mind learning how to cook, as long as my lil rose is teaching me.” Kylo said after swallowing a big bite of his meal. 

“Wait until I teach you how to bake, my student.” said Lydia. She took a sip of the wine he poured her. 

They enjoyed the meal they cooked together, Lydia promising to help him learn plenty of other dishes. Kylo seemed the most excited to learn how to bake sweet treats. Kylo decided it was up to him to clean the dishes, forcing another glass of wine to Lydia’s hand so she would sip that and let him clean up their mess. She accepted the wine and leaned against the counter, not wanting to be far from him. He continued to let her ramble about life, Lydia quickly learned Kylo was not one for talking, but he seemed to hold onto every word that fell from her mouth. 

Kylo adored the domestic bliss they fell into quickly. Cooking together, him cleaning up the dishes as she finished a glass of wine. He for once in his life felt comfortable in his own skin. He did not want to fight this soulmate off, he wanted her beside him forever. He finished up the dishes as Lydia rambled about literacy statistics, mentioning how she would love to work at a publishing company that worked with literacy charities to improve reading rates. 

Kylo moved to be in front of Lydia, trapping her to the counter by placing his hands on either side of her. She looked at him lovingly, running her hand up one of his arms, playing with the edge of his sleeve. He leaned down slightly, not too much since they already are close in height, and pressed his lips against her forehead. He moved down to her nose, then both of her cheeks, before pressing his lips against hers. He pressed himself against her, holding her by her waist. She left one hand over his own, the other on his cheek, lightly playing with the hair that fell forward. After kissing Lydia nearly breathless, Kylo pulled away and placed a kiss on her neck. He moved his hands down, skating over her hips until he cupped under her thighs. He gave her a mischievous smile and picked her up quickly, sitting her on the counter. A shriek flew from Lydia’s mouth, never expecting him to be able to lift her without spending months working out. 

Lydia locked her thighs around his waist, pulling him as close as possible to her. Kylo continued kissing her, letting his hands move up and down her body, feeling every curve of her body. He tried not focusing on her chest, wanting every inch of her to feel loved. Lydia let out a small gasp when Kylo’s fingers danced across her thighs, tracing small patterns on the exposed skin. Kylo took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. Lydia’s entire body felt warm, like a spark from her could take down an entire forest. This feeling could not compare to how she felt around Poe or Cassian, it was so incredibly different. Her skin was flushed red, her heart was racing, she never wanted to let go. 

Kylo felt the exact same way, he could feel the excitement bouncing off of Lydia. He wanted to be consumed by her, he would drop everything for her if she asked. He felt like there was nothing he would not do for her. He barely scratched the surface of who she was, but he simply did not care. He continued to kiss her, letting himself get lost in her lips. He moved from her lips, kissing down her jaw to her throat, then moving across her throat and back up to the other side of her face. Lydia giggled at the gesture, feeling pleased he seemed to want to appreciate all of her. He placed a quick kiss on her lips after he finished kissing across her jaw, smiling through the kiss. 

“Stay the night with my lil Rose.” His voice came out raspy and slightly nervous, different from his confident facade. 

“Kylo I’m not ready to… you know, do that tonight.” Anxiety bloomed in her chest, expecting him to react angry that she was not ready for sex tonight, her online dating life was full of men angry that was not putting herself out like that. Lydia did not care if others chose to do that with their bodies, but it was simply not the life for her.

“I am not expecting anything from you tonight my lil Rose, I just want to hold you all night and wake up to you. But if you’re not comfortable with that, I will not be angry if you choose to leave my house tonight.”

Her anxiety washed away, once again feeling that warm calmness from him. It felt like being cozied up next to a fire on a snowy day watching cheesy romcoms and making fun of the over-dramatic cliches. She pulled him in for another kiss. 

“I would love to stay the night, Kylo.” 

He gave her one more kiss before pulling away so she could hop down from the counter. Lydia excused herself to her car so she could grab an emergency overnight bag Finn and Rose practically forced her to keep on her. In their college days, Finn and Rose fixated on survival shows and made Poe and Lydia keep emergency to-go bags in their cars. They consisted of everything needed for a morning and night routine, such as a toothbrush and toothpaste, a small deodorant stick, and Lydia kept a small travel bottle of her favorite shampoo. The overnight bag also had a casual outfit, pepper spray, a pocket knife, and Rose managed to slip some condoms in there for god knows what reason. Lydia explained this as Kylo walked her to her car, not wanting to leave her for one second. Kylo had eyes full of adoration as Lydia talked about her quirky friend group, she avoided discussing Poe. She knew it was a discussion for another time. 

They settled back into his home, he suggested they could change into comfortable clothing and watch a movie in the living room. 

“This bag has emergency day clothes, not pajamas unfortunately.” 

“You can borrow some of my clothes if that doesn’t bother you lil Rose.”

Lydia’s gaze moved to her feet, “Your clothes probably won’t fit me Kylo,” she barely whispered, feeling embarrassed. 

“Nonsense, follow me.” He said grabbing her hand, pulling her attention away from the floor. Lydia knew she could not ruin the night with crying. Borrowing clothes from a guy was always a weak spot for her. She never fit into Poe’s or Cassian’s clothing, she knew Poe would buy shirts a little too big to wear to sleep so she could borrow them and be surrounded by her Poe. She was so incredibly nervous his clothes would not fit over her chest or her stomach. He handed her a well worn black sweater, it stood out against the rest of his wardrobe. His wardrobe was full of new, expensive things that had no tears or rips, except for a few pairs of jeans. Nothing seemed well worn and loved. Lydia thanked him and excused herself to the bathroom. She slipped off her dress and pulled the sweater on over her.

It fitted. It fell right below her butt, the sweater was actually a bit loose on her. Not so much she looked shapeless, but just enough to be comfortable. She pulled the sleeves over her hands and pushed her hands into her face. The sweater smelled just like him. She left the bathroom holding onto her dress. She hoped wearing nothing but a sweater and underwear would not lead him to any expectations and that her words earlier were enough to stop him from moving too quickly. Kylo had only switched his pants to a pair of flannel pajama pants, the long sleeve shirt from today still on. When he saw Lydia returning, he stretched his arm out to grab her dress to hang in his closet so it would not wrinkle overnight. He offered her a pair of thick fluffy socks which she gladly accepted from his hands. 

Kylo then led the now comfortable Lydia to his living room, a luxurious overstuffed couch was full of pillows and fluffy blankets, but it almost looked brand new. Like no one was truly living in it. Kylo sat down first, Lydia following him. She immediately cuddled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist and let his hand fall on her bare thigh. He grabbed a remote and turned the way too big flat screen TV on, picking a streaming service he knew had the best options. They agreed on a cheesy comedy movie, something that could play in the background because it has little to no plot. 

Being engulfed in Kylo made Lydia feel safe, she knew they would eventually have to talk about Kylo’s reaction when they first discovered they were soulmates, but tonight they will just enjoy each other’s presence.


	12. You’re sitting there looking pretty for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not edited, sorry!!! <3

_**Chapter 12: You’re sitting there looking pretty for me** _

Lydia woke up to her face pressed against his chest, his arms around her, holding her close in a big opulent bed with too many pillows and the softest blanket hugging her legs.. She remembered lazily kissing him on the couch and watching bits and pieces of the low-budget comedy movie. She remembered burying her face into his neck and her eyes feeling heavy. She had no idea how he got her into his bed. His bed was so comfortable and cozy, but lacked a sense of personality. It was a perfect matching set of black, gray, and red store bought from some over-the-top brand Lydia probably never heard of. She wanted to throw some of her unique pillows in the mix and a handmade quilt. She moved her head so she could peak around his room, generic modern art decorated his walls, not a speck of him. No hobbies in sight, no pictures of friends or family, it was like he lived in a furniture catalog. 

She went back to her spot on his chest, determined to make his house a home. She thought of different plans of attack, she wanted to add color to his duo-chrome life of blacks, grays, and reds. She pictured different ways she could decorate this house, her well loved books pressed against his classic clean books, her postcards decorating the wall, and her colorful collection of sundresses next to his all black wardrobe. She wondered if he could be talked into adopting a fat orange cat or an all too fluffy white cat.

Even though she knew she was getting ahead of herself, planning cat adoptions with him, it did not scare her. She always pulled back when planning her life with Cassian because she knew their love was not forever. She planned on taking small baby steps with Kylo, she could sense a broken scared boy in him.. She is not sure how he views soulmates, he seems impulsive and acts on how he feels in the moment. He pushed her away the moment they found out they were soulmates, but begged for her back once he felt the pain of not having her. Lydia knew they would eventually have to work on that, but not right now.

“I can hear you thinking lil Rose.” His deep raspy morning voice pulled her from her train of thought. He kissed her forehead, not wanting to bombard her with morning breath.

Lydia decided to not ask him how he felt about soulmates and their future together, but instead a simpler question.

“How do you feel about cats?”

Kylo let out a little laugh, not expecting that question from the girl who was so deep in thought just moments ago. 

“Animals have never been too keen on me, but for you, I will happily adopt a hundred of them.”

It was Lydia’s turn to laugh, she pressed a kiss against his chest where she was still laying. She figured he must have known she is a cat person with the large tattoo on her thigh and the few too many cat key-chains hanging on her lanyard. Neither of them wanted to pull away from one another but it was already late in the morning and Lydia did not text any of her roommates about spending the night. Kylo let Lydia use the bathroom first as he still had some waking up to do. Lydia quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth, changing into a pair of black denim shorts she had in her emergency overnight bag, after slipping a bra back on, she decided to stay in his sweater. Despite her wearing it all night, it still smelled like him, and she wanted to be engulfed in that even after she left. Her emotions crashed when she realized she would have to return home and face her friends. Poe knew where Lydia was going but she never said she intended to stay the night. She pushed those feelings aside, so she could enjoy being in Kylo’s presence a bit longer.

Lydia left the bathroom, letting Kylo take his turn in getting ready. Lydia slipped down to the kitchen to find something to put together for breakfast. Lydia found a wide variety of ingredients and decided to make omelettes, she didn't really know what Kylo liked to eat, but she rather keep herself busy. Lydia was flipping the last omelette when he came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her, making her nearly drop the perfectly cooked egg. 

“That was rude!” She whined to him.

“It was pretty funny from where I’m standing.” He kissed the side of her head and reached over to grab two mugs from the cabinet.

“How do you take your coffee, lil Rose?”

“You see, I don’t drink coffee. I’m more of a hot chocolate girl, but I will happily drink any fruit teas if you have any.”

Kylo froze, “I only have coffee, but I can run out right now or have my chef bring something over or I can-”

Lydia cut him off, laughing at his panicked nature. “It’s okay, I can just drink some water this morning. I want to stay in with you a little bit longer before I have to go.” She moved the omelettes and toast onto two different plates and already had a bowl of fresh fruit cut up. He moved the plates to the breakfast nook, telling her to stop washing the pan she used and eat her food while it’s hot. They sat together and devoured the delicious breakfast she cooked. Kylo got her to ramble about why she loved cats so much and some of the meanings behind her man-made tattoos that he got a great view on last night. They sat close enough so when he finished eating he was able to run his hands on her thighs and play with the end of her sleeves.

“Uhm, Kylo, do you want this sweater back?” She asked quietly after noticing he was playing with the sweater a lot. 

“No, it looks better on you lil Rose.” He said as he stood up to clean up their plates. Lydia squeezed herself next to him at the sink with her sleeves rolled up, ready to help him clean up this time. He nudged her and grabbed her, lifting her to sit on the counter like last night but instead of kissing her feverishly he moved back to the sink full of dirty dishes. 

“You cooked so I get to clean.” He explained to her as the hot water began to run.

Lydia pouted, swinging her legs lightly, “But I don’t like sitting here doing nothing.” 

“You’re sitting there looking pretty for me, that is something.” 

Lydia blushed and pulled the sweater sleeves over her hands as she suddenly felt shy. She was used to Poe and Leia’s older friends sweet talking to her but it felt different coming from Kylo’s lips. Every stolen glance from him made her feel warm from top to bottom, every compliment, every touch of the skin,and everything about him made her feel like she was stretched out on the sand of a warm, private beach or wrapped in a freshly washed blanket sat in front of the fireplace. 

Kylo finished the dishes, Lydia filled the air with her comforting voice as she shared a funny story about philosophy class she had to take where a very pretentious dude fought with her endlessly in every debate but at the end of the semester decided to ask her out once they finished finals. She always wondered why, as he seemed to hate her throughout the very long and tiring 18 weeks of classes. She did reject him because Lydia was currently with Cassian but Poe and Finn thought the whole situation was hysterical and still crack jokes about the philosophy guy to Lydia. 

Once Kylo dried his hands he turned to Lydia, back in a similar position they were in last night. 

“I think it’s time for a proper good morning.” He said.

He grabbed Lydia’s waist and kissed her deeply, her hands flew to his face to caress his soft skin. She adored the dimples that hid in his face, only appearing when he smiled.

“Good Morning Lil Rose.”

“Good morning Kylo.”

They pulled each other in for another kiss, Kylo already felt addicted to her. He had no idea how soulmates did anything without the other, just being in the bathroom without her near him made him feel gloomy. He knew she had to go home eventually but he wanted her around him everyday. He considers letting her leave The First Order the biggest mistake of his life, he had no idea how to bring up that she can come back if she wants to.

Kylo has no idea how to navigate a relationship, he fought his destiny before, but for some reason he did not want to fight her and control his own destiny. She is his destiny.

Lydia could sense his brain was swimming with thoughts as they kissed slowly. She knew he would be a difficult one to figure out, he will probably resist opening up. The past almost 24 hours has mostly been about Lydia indulging her past and who she is, he just listened to her. She hopes one day he will feel safe enough to open up to his soulmate.

“Spend the day with me, lil Rose. We can go out and do something.”

“I would love to spend the rest of the weekend with you-”

“Then do it”

“But I really need to talk to Poe. He’s a part of me as much as you are, I cannot leave him behind in the dirt.”

Kylo buried his face in her neck, kissing the juncture that connects her neck to her shoulder, as gentle as the head over heels giant man could. 

“We’ll see each other soon, I promise” Lydia told the sulking man as she stroked his soft, wild hair. 

“I feel like I have two weeks of time to make up to you.” Kylo confided to her, showing raw emotion for the stoic man, his face still hidden in her neck. 

“We will have the rest of our lives for that Kylo.”

Kylo pulled his head from the warm exposed skin of his love and pressed another life changing kiss to her lips. Kylo swore he could give up coffee and sweets as long as he had her lips to keep him awake and full of energy. 

Lydia pulled on his hand after he finally detached himself from her lips, mostly to take a breather. She already had her overnight bag with her purse and shoes left at the front of his house. She just needed him to escort her out and press another kiss to her lips before bidding goodbye. 

“Drive safe lil Rose, please text me when you get home.”

Lydia’s heart fluttered at the sentiment, happy to see his love language appearing. 

“Of course,” Lydia said as she stood on his porch with him, his arms wrapped around her waist and his forehead pressed against her own. 

Kylo flicked his head down, kissing her once more, a small pout crossed his full lips as she pulled away from his arms to climb into her bug. He already missed the feeling of his arms wrapped around her body, sharing the warmth of her soft skin that felt like velvet to him. 

Lydia grabbed her spare sunglasses from her glove department, as the sun decided to shine this crisp fall morning. She blew a kiss and waved at her partner, trying to pretend that leaving his side was not painful. 

She felt a melting pot of emotions as she drove across the bridge connecting the town, she felt so warm and fuzzy being close to her true love for nearly 24 hours, but whenever she thought of Poe her heart felt a tug, she could feel his sadness in the corner of her mind. The sadness grew within her as she put miles between her and Kylo, she already missed the giant bear of man but she had to take care of Poe. 

A part of her sadness was not knowing the next time she would be in Kylo’s arms. She was due for her new job at The Resistance on Monday, she had already donated all of her old First Order appropriate business wear except for a few staples, it was quite a ceremonial donation with her and Rose getting wine drunk afterwards and watching bad satire comedies to get Lydia’s mind off the brooding CEO who was the reason for such an occasion. A CEO must be busy she thought as she inched closer to the house she shared with her loving friends.

When will the next time he has 24 hours of unscheduled time to spoil and pamper his soulmate? She thought of him, holding her on the couch, mumbling his plans to indulge her of all the designer goods she could possibly want, promising to take her to Paris and Milan to shop, cooing that Lydia would look fantastic dripping in jewels and expensive fabrics. She tried to argue, saying she does not need spoils and expensive goods, just his arms around her, but he hushed her with a kiss. After the passionate kiss, he whispered the sweetest words, saying it was something he wants to do, he wants Lydia to feel confident everyday, the same way she felt the night of the gala.

Lydia already formed her own secret agenda of taking him thrift shopping with Rose, hoping they would bond, then maybe letting him spoil her. She tried thinking of various creative ways to get Kylo to bond with her roommates, she knew once Rose bonded, Finn would be a close second as they were each other’s platonic soulmates and trusted each other to no end. Poe seemed to be the toughest mountain to climb, the ever so stubborn boy. Lydia would have to be extra creative with him.

She pulled into the driveway she shared with Poe’s car and forced herself up the driveway to the door that seemed so cold and unforgiving despite it being the way into her own home that she shared with a warm cast of characters. 

“Hey guys, I’m home,” she called out as she crossed the threshold, locking the door behind her. A small chorus of Hi and Hello called out to her, she recognized the voices belonging to Rose and Finn who were planted on the couch, playing against each other in Mario Kart, a small tradition of theirs to see who was buying the other dinner on their next night out. 

“Where’s Poe?” She inquired, wondering where the brooding man was hiding out.

“Oh you mean Mr. Cranky Pants?” Finn said as he threw a banana peel behind his cart, “He’s been hiding out in his room, sulking like a child.”

Lydia rolled her eyes and thanked Finn for telling her that her pigheaded best friend was moping in his room. She raised a hand to knock on his door but before she could rasp her knuckles against the thin wood, his voice interrupted here. 

“Don’t bother Lyd, leave me alone,” he cried out to her, his voice raspy, trying to hide how upset he was. 

“Come on Poe, I want to talk to you. You know I hate fighting with you.”

“I said leave me alone Lyd.”

Lydia huffed, rolling her eyes once more, she went to turn around and take her shower she so desperately craved, but a force kept her planted at the door. 

“Poe Dameron, if you do not let me through that door right now, I will break it down.” She said with such authority in her voice, that he very quickly believed her. 

The door clicked and opened, Poe already moved to sit back on his bed, waiting for the nervous pink haired beauty to come in, wearing a sweater he has never seen her in before. 

“Poe, can you please try and be open about this? For me? He apologized to me, he genuinely wants to change for me.”

It was Poe’s turn to roll his eyes, his 5 o’clock shadow growing thicker, showing he has not shaved since the night of the gala. 

“Lyd, people don’t change like that, monsters don’t change. He treated you horribly the moment he found out you two were soulmates, he insulted you and tore you down to the point where you quit your job. He didn’t have to worry about you not sleeping or eating, he waited until you were tipsy at a gala to move in on you, like some kind of predator.” Poe spat the last word out, like a poisoned knife. Hearing her platonic soulmate hate her true love with such a passion tore her down, she felt like it was a sick trick the universe was playing on her. 

Lydia could feel her face warming up, tears building up in her eyes. “Poe, you are supposed to love me unconditionally and whoever the universe pairs me up with.”

“Yeah well I did not think the universe was a cruel bastard that would pair you up with someone who spent their adolescence in and out of juvie, the same someone who nearly killed their own father.”

Lydia gasped, “That was not your secret to share you dick! Talk to me when you’re ready to act like an adult.”

She could feel her hands trembling as she left his room, she felt ready to crash down at any moment. Once she was safely in her room, she battled with herself whether or not she should run back to Kylo, but he was the only person she felt safe to wrap herself up in, assuming Rose and Finn knew Kylo’s past and felt the same way that Poe does. Rose and Finn have always been better about keeping their opinions to themselves and not reacting so angrily. She Bit the bullet and pulled out her phone to send a text to Kylo who was secretly waiting patiently for his phone to ding, letting him know she was safe and sound. 

_ Lydia:  _ I made it home safe but now I am wondering is it too late to take you up on spending all day with you...and maybe even the next few days?

Kylo nearly dropped his phone reading the message, excitement bursting out of him like he was a little boy again in a candy shop or running around the park with his childhood dog, Chewie. 

_ Kylo: Of course lil Rose, you know the gate code and the front door will be unlocked :) See you soon <3  _

Lydia sighed with relief, she sent Rose a text saying she was packing a bag and going to be with Kylo for the next few days if anyone needs her, she also added in the fact she will miss Sunday brunch and to give Leia her apologies. Lydia grabbed her favorite backpack and packed what she would need for a few days, a few change of clothes, including a new dress she picked up thrifting, it was a gorgeous all black dress with thin straps, ruffles tastefully placed on the bottom, and looked perfect in the fall with some added tights, a cardigan, and her favorite pair of worn down boots. She carefully packed a makeup bag and a shower bag, not knowing what shower products Kylo would have on hand. Lydia made sure she had her phone charger, the book she was currently working on, and a fresh journal in the backpack. 

She decided she had time to take a quick shower and put on a light layer of makeup, but she slipped right back into the sweater she got from Kylo. The sweater was like being wrapped in him, the warm crashing waves all came back into her as she buried her head into the sleeves she had pulled over her hands. 

Lydia was back on the road in no time as she waved goodbye to Rose and the confused Finn who would surely get the details as soon as the bubblegum haired girl vacated the property. Lydia felt comfort knowing she was returning to Kylo, despite the heated fight she had with Poe. 

It was like she was returning home despite the fact she had just left her home, the home she built with her chosen family. She was ready for this new adventure with the love of her life, to hell with what Poe thought, Kylo was perfectly right for her. 


	13. Their lives intertwined indefinitely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Drugs, abuse, medical stuff, a bit of sexual content
> 
> Did not edit this!

_**Chapter 13: **Their lives intertwined indefinitely** ** _

Lydia pulled into the driveway she left a mere hours ago, but it felt like days since she was back in his arms. She slung her backpack and purse over her shoulder, locking up her bug behind her as she made her way to the tall, black door that led into his house. She let herself in per Kylo’s instructions in the text he sent her earlier. 

“Kylo? I’m back!” She called out to the seemingly silent house.

Lydia figured as she was already invited to his house, it was okay for her to drop her bag off in his room. She quickly made her way up the modern black staircase to his room, still as stoic and goth as she left it this morning. As she dropped her bag in front of his massive closet she turned to go on a hunt for her foreboding soulmate when she ran into a mountain of all black, arms quickly wrapping themselves around here. 

“Welcome back my lil Rose.” He kissed her forehead before pressing his lips against her own.

As always, his kisses left her breathless, lighting a fire in her lower abdomen. The way he held her neck and waist made her crave more skin to skin contact. She felt like she needed Kylo.

Lydia wrapped her arms around his neck, slightly pushing him back, hinting for him to walk backwards. The back of his knees hit the bed, for once Lydia stood taller than the massive man as he sat down. His hands moving to the back of her thighs as she positioned herself over his lap, straddling him.

Lydia was overcome by lust, a flame in her she quieted the moment she locked eyes with him. She grabbed his jaw, urging him to deepen the kiss. She parted her lips, inviting his tongue into her mouth. 

She moaned slightly as she slowly grinded herself onto his hardening groin, it’s been awhile since she was intimate with a man, ever since Cassian found his true love, she’s been in a dry spell. By her own choice of course, not finding the urge to hookup or pursue relationships outside of waiting for her true love. 

Kylo runs one hand down her thigh, his other hand holding her waist, his thumb just brushing underneath her heaving chest. He was torn mentally, he was enjoying being close to his love, ready to get rid of some pent up sexual tension, but he was confused and worried about this sudden burst of desire seeping from Lydia. 

As Lydia ran her hands under his shirt, urging him to take it off, Kylo’s brain kicked in and put a stop to the sexually charged makeout session that could lead to other things, things Lydia specifically said she was not ready for last night. 

He pulled his face away from her, breaking the kiss, and he tried speaking her name to get her attention. But she moved her face to his neck, moving her lips down his throat. 

“Lydia, you need to stop.” She pulled away, still situated on his lap, fully pouting like a petulant child. 

“I thought this is what you wanted,” She said, still feeling his hard length under her, his pupils blown out, turning his whiskey-colored eyes nearly completely black. Kylo flipped her over onto the bed, his tremendous body covering hers, resting on one forearm. He ran one hand down her hair, to her neck then the rest of her body that he could reach. 

“Lil Rose, what I want is inconsequential. When you’re ready I will fly us to some expensive hotel in New York or Milan, or any corner of the world.” Kylo leaned real close to Lydia’s face, whispering as if someone could hear their dirty little secrets, “and have you in every position on every surface possible, to the point where you won’t be able to walk or sit down properly. The only thing coming out of your mouth will be you moaning my name.”

Lydia’s cheeks flushed, not used to anyone ever being so candid about their sexual wants. Cassian was a shy lover, only ever fooling around in bed or occasionally the shower, always slow and romantic. But yet the tone of his voice and the commanding words made the fire in her lower belly burn down lower and lower down her body.

“Last night you told me you weren’t ready for anything, what happened between then and now?” Kylo asked her, his fingers dancing on her jaw before he cupped her face so she would look at him and stop avoiding eye contact with the concerned love of her life. His eyes finally returning to their normal espresso color with hints of forest green buried in them. 

Lydia could feel her eyes welling up, thinking of the nasty words she shared with Poe, in the smallest voice she could muster, she asked Kylo if he can hold her. Kylo agreed, getting off the distressed girl under him, he moved to his headboard, opening his arms up for her crawl into. 

Once she was curled up around him, the smell of his Jo Malone Cologne that engulfed her senses in bergamot and cedarwood, comforted her. He drew circles and shapes on her back and thighs, trying to sooth the trembling pink haired goddess who wrapped herself around him. She had no idea Kylo was already falling in love with a feeling he was unfamiliar with, for once he was not scared of his own feelings. He had no idea how to thank the universe for blessing him with such a gorgeous, soft, down to earth woman who saw through his bullshit. 

She pulled him out of his thoughts, “I tried to talk to Poe when I got home and he got really nasty.” She shared with him the events of the afternoon, she tried her best to explain how gut wrenching it felt to hear negative words about her soulmate, like someone was ripping away pieces of her, this was a feeling she heard about when she read about soulmates, but nothing prepared her for the intense feelings. Her sweet therapist was always worried about her depression and anxiety pairing with a true love soulmate’s feelings, everything suddenly becomes more intense when a true love pairing finds each other, and Lydia never dealt well with intense feelings. She could feel her hands twitching, an old tic from her anxiety that appears from time to time. 

He noticed every little movement from her, he could feel her heart beating faster against his ribs where she layed. She was building the courage to ask him about the secrets Poe spilled out to her, but she was worried about his reaction. She remembers the day in the office when they discovered they were soulmates and the day he found out she knew Leia, that version of him terrifies her. 

“I don’t know how to say this, but Poe said something about you to me that I’m not sure is true or not, I don’t want to offend or upset you.” Kylo urged her to finish the thought, he had a feeling he knew what words would spill from her mouth next. 

“He told me you spent your adolescence in juvie and you almost killed your father.” Kylo tensed his whole body, hearing the dark words spoken by her angelic voice, her voice was always music to his ears, but those words were like a broken piano being played in a defunct cruise ship. 

“He’s right.” Kylo said, his voice finding a way to get even deeper. 

Lydia pulled her head from his chest to look at him, now it was his turn to talk. 

“Well my little rose, I was a rebellious asshole as a kid. I grew up with rich busy parents so I acted out, I stole, got into fights, drank, did drugs, I was really a nightmare. Rather than bail me out like their rich friends did when their precious sons got caught with a gram of weed, they figured juvie would set me straight. But it only made me angrier.” He explained to her, still trying to keep his hands moving in a calming pace, feeling goosebumps appear on her soft skin. 

His voice was thick as he shared the story. The abuse he faced in juvie, constant fights from other inmates as he was always the biggest kid in the place, only a few visits from his ever so absent parents. He got out a few days before his 18th birthday and his own parents could not be bothered to pick him up, they sent a driver instead. He seethed in the car, growing more and more outraged. 

Lydia could feel the heat off his body as he recounted the story, as if emotions and feelings from the past were being transmitted to her body in this moment, she could feel how miserable he was, the rage that took over. It was her turn to run her fingers up and down his body, soothing the displeased beast that held onto her.

“When we got home, my parents still weren’t there, the driver told me they were on a business trip and would return home in a few days. So I called up my buddy and had him bring me a dangerous amount of cocaine, weed, and vodka. If my parents weren’t going to be there, then why not celebrate with my friends and the illegal substances that got me into juvie in the first place.” He laughed, thinking it was funny that he learned nothing from his time as an inmate. 

“When my parents got home, earlier I might add, with my uncle, I was snorting a line off some random girl’s body. My dad and uncle were livid, they threw everyone out of the house, started throwing away all my drugs, trying to hide the more illegal stuff before they brought some cleaning service in. My mom stood there scolding me like I was a child being caught with my hand in the cookie jar, and the anger returned to me, the anger I felt in juvie and in the car ride home. Being drugged out of your mind and angry is not a good mixture, my little Rose.”

“I wouldn’t know Kylo,” she told him, pressing a kiss to his hand that she was now holding in her own. 

“So I began yelling at my mom, years of pent up rage just escaped me. My father and uncle stepped in once my mom began crying, I mistook my uncle who was trying to touch my shoulder and pushed him away, thinking he wanted to hit me. Of course my father panicked and jumped on me. I was nearly 18, spent my time in juvie working out, and underestimated my strength as I fought my father back. We fell onto a glass table, shattering the whole thing. I got a pretty bad cut on my face and small scratches everywhere, nothing too bad. But my dad got the worst of it. He was in surgery for 8 hours, it ruined his back and shoulders. My mom lied to the doctors about what happened but they all knew I was on drugs.”

Kylo shuddered, remembering how horrible that day was, it played like a movie in his head when he tried to sleep, last night was the first night since then that he dreamed of a warm beach and his hand wrapped around a girl with bright pink hair and ridiculous heart shaped glasses.

“Once my father got out of surgery and was in recovery, my mom had the driver take me home. My uncle stayed with my mom. When I got home I realized I had just spent the first few minutes of my birthday with my parent’s driver. That’s when I packed a bag, grabbing clothes, money, and I left a note for them, letting them know I left on my own and asked them to please not find me.” 

“So you ran away?” She asked, breaking him from his monologue.

“Yeah I did, I spent a few years town hopping, working different jobs. Until I found a group of guys who took me in as a brother, I eventually got myself in at some no name community college, then worked my way to Harvard, and here I am now, wrapped up with you in my arms and successful business I built from the ground up.” 

Lydia took a deep breath, letting his story soak in, she did not feel disgusted or scared of him, she only felt sympathy. She always had her parents wrapped in her life, barely leaving her side when she was hospitalized, her supporting cast of friends who loved her endlessly, she experienced the world with love in her eyes and kindness in her heart, it broke her to see the world treating her love with such hatred and negativity. 

She pulled away from Kylo’s arms, sitting herself up on her knees, getting herself face to face with him. She grabbed his face and kissed down his scar softly, then placed a final kiss to his lips. 

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” She said with such innocence and honesty in her voice, it almost made Kylo want to ask her to move in on the spot. He smiled at her softness, a real smile, that made his dimples appear, he knew how she adored his smile, he could feel the joy bouncing off her whenever he smiled. 

Lydia had so many more questions to ask, she finally got a peek in his life, and wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything about it, but she would rather walk on eggshells around him than possibly upset him. 

“I can’t even think about the pain Poe is in right now,” Lydia muttered, “I mean I have you to turn to. He loves Finn and Rose but never gets emotional or deep with them, he doesn’t have a soulmate with him to soothe him.”

“Don’t worry about him right now, he’s the one being a jerk to you,” said Kylo.

Lydia stayed wrapped in his arms, letting their soulmate connection soothe her. Her hands slowly stopped shaking, her tears slowly dried. 

“I’m sorry about um-all of this.”

“You never need to apologize to me, it’s okay my little rose.” 

He rested his head on top of her’s, escaping into her cloud of cotton candy hair, breathing in her strawberry scented shampoo and perfume. He could lose himself in her scent, always so sweet like candy. Kylo usually showed disdain for the universe’s control in his life, but he’s finding an exception in Lydia. A gorgeous, sweet girl who brought light to everyone’s life paired with the big bad wolf, the beast of the business-world, it was ironic to see such an opposite pair. Their lives intertwined indefinitely now that Lydia has her grip on him. 

“How long do you plan to stay with me lil Rose?”

“I don’t want to intrude, I can stay for another night or I-”

“My sweet Lyd, you will never intrude on my life. I just need to tell my personal chef how days of food to stock up on.” He said, staring intensely in her eyes, not wanting her to think she was a nuisance in his life. 

“I really don’t know, Poe can be such a stubborn man but I do have to face him on tomorrow at work. Can we play this by ear? I can pick up groceries and cook so your chef doesn’t have to, I really don’t want to disturb your life so early.”

Kylo gave her a soft knowing smile, to him she could never intrude on him, he would take the week off from work if she asked, just to be around her and comfort her. 

“Whatever you want, I’m here for whatever you want to do.”

“Well can you hold me, for just a little bit longer?” She asked, already burying herself in his neck.

He mumbled of course before he kissed the top of her head, Kylo found himself perfectly content just laying in bed, holding her, a new feeling that for once did not scare him. In all his past relationships, hookups, and everything else in between he never cared much for affection, rarely cuddling with no sexual intent, holding hands for the world to see, or sharing soft kisses on the forehead or cheeks. He chalked his coldness up to the lack of tenderness he experienced in his youth, or that’s what Vicrul told him when they were all in college together on a drunken weekend when Kylo grew frustrated at his inability to hold down dates. Kylo gave up dating until he was a super successful and filthy rich CEO, who would care that he lacked apathy and did not care to cuddle after sex. His partner’s always left the house thoroughly pleased and satisfied. The only complaint was when Rey was fishing for something deeper in their relationship and wanted more. 

Then Lydia came into his life and Rey faded into the background, no one could hold a candle to the sweet and soft Lydia who looked like small animals get her dressed in the morning and sing her to sleep. He fought the change, not wanting to do what the universe tells him to do, carve his own path in life. But the sugar-coated girl haunted his dreams, his every thought, he could not close his eyes without seeing her. Her whole being makes him want to change for the better, but Kylo knows as a man with many skeletons in his closet, it would be a slow process. He hopes the sweet girl who is lazily drawing patterns on his stomach at the moment, has the patience and love for him to find himself once again. 

“Hey lil Rose?” Kylo said, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Hm?” She hummed out, already falling asleep against his warm chest. 

“Do you want to go out tonight, on a real date?”

His question woke Lydia from her sleepy state, she sat up bringing her face level to his. 

“I would love to,” She then pressed her lips against his, kissing him softly for a few moments before she excused herself to freshen up and change. This gave Kylo plenty of time to call and make arrangements, he loves the power his name holds, able to get everything in order for his lil Rose before she even had time to brush through her hair just by mentioning his name. 

Kylo hoped this date would be a good break from the stress of the past few days and keep Lydia’s mind away from Poe or Kylo’s own tragic past. He grinned to himself, he was finally taking his girl out, someone he could be proud of holding his hand in public. 

Neither of them could wait to see what the night brought them. 


	14. A Place to call Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating, writer's block, depression, and school has been killer. This chapter is completely unedited!

Lydia was so unsure of herself as she smoothed her dress over in the mirror, she knew Kylo Ren to be a fancy, well-off guy, and outside of her casual work clothes she only packed a few casual dresses, longer sleeves and thicker fabrics due to the chill in the air. She wondered how she could possibly fit into his world, Lydia rarely experienced the life of luxury, before the most recent gala, Rose and her would thrift every single special occasion dress they own, using them for weddings, galas, and any special event The Resistance required of them. 

“How could I fare next to a man who owned watches that cost more than my entire wardrobe?” She thought to herself as she laced up her well loved boots, a lovely High School graduation gift from Jyn and her dads that survived her college years.

She had changed into a long sleeve pale pink dress that flared at her waist that she found at a thrift store back home and thick wool stockings, knowing her legs would not survive the cold night. Every tattoo was covered that night, even the one that represented her connection to Kylo. 

She was thankful Kylo left her alone in his duochrome bathroom that could technically count as a spa with a luxurious bath in the corner, a large shower that could surely be the size of her bathroom at home, multiple sinks, and what appears to be a makeup vanity, but only held a few colognes on top and a vase of white roses, befitting the black and white room. She does not recall noticing the roses the night before, she wondered if roses were one of his favorite flowers too or if he noticed the details of the tattoo wrapped around her leg.

She would have loved to wear her new dress she recently picked up but was worried it would be deemed too casual. Her silver necklace sat just above the modest amount of cleavage the pink dress revealed, she clutched the necklace, her long dark fingernails leftover from her Gala outfit bared a contrast to the pastel simplicity of her current outfit. Her older docs wrapped around her feet, with her new job at the Resistance bearing a casual dress code she had no heels in her overnight bag. Lydia feared that she would overpack for her stay with Kylo and left home her going out shoes

She touched up her slightly ruined makeup and brushed out her vibrant hair, leaving it down for the evening. Lydia left the bathroom after spritzing some of her perfume on herself, smelling like a freshly made strawberry pound cake. 

Kylo adored her perfume, reminding him of the bakeries he visited in Paris. He wanted to fly Lydia out the next day with him, visit all of the great bakeries in Paris, letting her forget the anger and hatred Poe spewed at her as they drowned themselves in wine and macarons. He wanted to let her escape the pain she felt, spoil her with a grand hotel and buy her lavish designer goods, then he would allow them to experience their carnal passion, get lost in each other’s bare flesh, feel the soft plushness of her curves while she digs her fingernails in his hard muscles. 

But Kylo knew she would not drop Poe, scratch the initial out of her arm, and get lost in the world with only Kylo at her side. Eventually she would make amends with him, in spite of the pain Poe caused her. His love was tenderhearted, she was not a vengeful or spiteful person, she forgave Kylo after all of his nasty words to her. She showed more compassion and patience to him in three days than he had ever seen in his whole life. 

He thought about her caring ways as he buttoned up one of his more casual shirts. His outfit was all black, a habit he picked up as an angsty youth. He was wearing a toned down version of office wear, a black button up with the first few top buttons left alone, fitted black pants, and a matching blazer. Even in a dressed down state he still looked like he could step into his office or a meeting and not look out of the ordinary. His shoes shined brightly as they were brand new, shipped in from Italy. He felt giddy with excitement, not from the opulent shoes or his favorite watch adorning his wrist, but for the girl who was readying herself in his bathroom, hopefully noticing the vase of roses that sat on top of the vanity. 

“Kylo, I am done using your bathroom if you need it,” she called out to him, her soothing voice snapping him out of his thoughts. He left his walk-in closet, ready to respond to the sweet girl who stood just a few steps away from the bathroom door, anxiously fiddling with her necklace.

He felt the air get knocked out of him when he looked at her, unable to form a coherent thought much less a sentence to respond to her with. The world slowed down for them, when she moved her head to look at him it was as if she moved in slow motion, her hair slowly falling on her shoulders, a blush growing on her rounded cheeks as she noticed him staring. A shy smile graced her lips as she felt her soulmate to be flabbergasted, an emotion she never thought she would feel from the powerful man. 

Lydia felt like a teenager again, growing shy around the handsome boy she had a crush on, her heart pounding against her chest as they held sweaty hands. It felt as if the world would end in that moment if they dared to rip their eyes off each other. 

Kylo finally made his way to her, those 30 seconds felt like an eternity as they stared each other down, words still failing to cross his plush lips. He managed to kiss the top of her head as he walked past her to the bathroom, feeling awkward as he could not manage to even tell her how beautiful she looked that night. 

“Breathe, Kylo, breathe,” he thought to himself as he quickly moved about the bathroom, touching up his cologne, fixing his hair, and washing his hands to make him feel less sweaty. No one had ever made him feel so nervous, he was only able to talk to Lydia at the gala after drinking and feeling ever growing spite to the many young men who moved about Lydia, dancing with her, flirting, he even noticed how taken Lando was with the young girl. But this evening he was stone cold sober, all walls were down after he spilled his childhood secrets, holding the crying girl in his arms. He straightened his jacket and exited the bathroom, Lydia now daintily sitting on the edge of his rumpled bed, scrolling through her phone. 

She slid her phone into her purse when she noticed the mountain of a man staring at her, she smiled at him like he was the most important thing in the world to her, she soothed the war that was inside of him, she was the lighthouse to his thrashing sea. 

“You look absolutely magnificent my little rose,” he breathed out to her, finally letting go of all his nerves and telling her what floated across his mind. 

“How did the universe pair me with such a gorgeous soulmate,” He pondered outloud, making the woman blush as she stood up, meeting him in the room. He reached out to her, covering her waist with his large, warm hands, Kylo pulled her close to him. 

He presses a kiss to her forehead, murmuring about how beautiful and lovely she looked in her dress. Lydia wraps her arms around his neck, enjoying the moment pressed against him. She craned her head up to meet his plush lips, they moved their lips together in perfect harmony. Kylo forced himself to not deepen kiss, wanting to take it slow with his gorgeous rose. 

He gave her one final kiss before pulling away, intertwining his hand with hers, leading her out of the sizable room. 

“Where are we going?” She asked as he led her down the stairs.

“That would ruin the surprise,” he answered her, leading her towards his garage for the first time, ready to introduce her to the row of sleek luxury cars that sat spotless in the clean and well organized garage. Very opposite to her shabby garage stocked with holiday decor, college memorabilia none of them could get rid of, and Finn’s toolbox that gets used roughly three times a year. 

“What car do you wanna take tonight, gorgeous?” 

Lydia froze, she was never a car person, she only ever paid attention to her beloved VW bug, she does not even know what car Poe drives, she just knows it’s a gorgeous shade of red. She glances over at Kylo with confusion in her eyes. He gives her an assuring smile and nods his head, letting her know that he trusts her to pick a car.

“That one,” she says, pointing to a random one, hoping he likes that one. She only ever wanted to impress him. With someone who has such an impressive car collection, she wonders if Kylo thinks she is lame or stupid for not knowing the names, anything about the builds or engines, or even about cost of these cars. She was sure they were costly as everything in Kylo’s life was. 

With an arm wrapped around her waist, he leaned in, whispering in her ear about how that is his favorite car, then pressing a kiss on her forehead before opening the passenger side door for her. She blushed at the gesture, only Poe, Cassian, and her father ever acted so kindly to her. The inside of the lush car felt alien to her, all sleek and black, opposite to her homely bug with gold dice from Han hanging in her rear view mirror and very worn fuzzy seat covers she was sure were from the 70s. 

She sat her purse next to her feet before pulling the seat belt over her body to secure herself into the car. Kylo moved quickly into the driver’s seat, making sure his love was safely buckled in before he started the car and pulled out of the garage. He always enjoyed speeding in his lambo across the highways and backroads but for once he felt like he has someone worth protecting in his car. No need for speed while some pretty redhead or brunette grip his thigh with their well manicured claws and purr dirty things in his ear, he finally has a lovely woman sat in his car, ready to hold his hand while he drives around the city, following most of the speed limits. 

Lydia rambled about the city while he drove around as soft classic rock played over the radio, she spoke of random memories whenever they drove by landmarks, a time she spent with her friends, or when she found a lost kitten at that park who belonged to the sweetest pair of soulmates who were nervous about their first pet, the beefed up tatted one of the two was in tears when she found them. She still receives a holiday card from the two men and their kitten who grew into a gorgeous cat. 

Kylo felt like his insides were glowing, wondering how the universe put him with a sweet girl who rescues kittens in her freetime and manages to befriend everyone she crosses. He felt afraid of letting her down with his past and the ghosts that still haunt him to this today. She may have heard a good chunk of his cursed adolescents but she still has not heard the dirty little secrets, the moments that still haunt him from juvie, and those years leading into college. He had done things to survive, stuff he was not proud of. 

She wrapped both of hands around his free hand, holding them in her lap as he drove. The gentle tug of her pulled him out of his thoughts. She could tell when he was deep in thought, brooding over this or that, she picked it up as his assistant and thought it was annoying when she had to snap him out a few times to let him know his appointment was there. But now she finds it endearing, somewhat worrisome as he will not always share what he is thinking about. 

“Are you going to tell me where we are going yet? We have been driving for 30 minutes.” She asked, lacing her fingers with his and kissing the top of his hand. 

“We are almost there, I promise,” His deep voice rumbling in his chest, smiling at the road ahead. He only wished to have more time to put this date together, but he did not prepare for the hurricane that is Poe Dameron. He had been envisioning their first date ever since he accepted the fact, Lydia Taylor will be the one he will spend the rest of his life with. 

He slowed the lambo down, pulling into what he considers a parking space, near the edge of a forested area. 

“We just need to walk a little bit,” he explained, getting out of the car, admiring how cute she is when she is confused.

“Do you promise to not murder me and dump my body here? I would like to call my mom one more time if I am about to lose my life.” She said before giggling slightly, making sure her purse was secure on her arm. 

“I would never take your life, I promise.”

He held her soft hand in his own, leading her into the trees, shushing her nervous questioning. Kylo simply assured her this is something fun and to not be worried. 

After a few minutes of strolling in the woods, Kylo finally leads her to their destination. A soft gasp leaves her pink glossed lips as they step into the clearing. Somehow, Kylo had organized a gorgeous picnic date. She was sure he must have made some calls while she was getting ready in the bathroom, but she did not imagine this. Lydia was sure he was going to pick some gaudy and overpriced restaurant that charges $50 for a plate that has two bites of food on it. 

Lanterns and string lights speckle the innermost trees, swaying in the breeze like little fairies floating in the air. A classic red gingham blanket was spread out on the floor with a wicker basket sat in the middle, between two pillows. A bucket off to the side was chilling two bottles of wine, one red and one white. Soft classical music surrounded them like a blanket, almost warming her insides. It was a scene surely out of a romance novel or a cheesy rom-com Finn has forced Lydia and her friends to sit through. 

“How did you do all this?” She asked, her sweet voice filled with disbelief and shock. 

“I called in a few favors and drove us the long route to ensure everything was perfect,” he explained, his eyes never leaving her as she spun slowly in the clearing, taking in everything. 

Laughter escaped her mouth, she felt delirious on affection and what could be love, Lydia felt incredulously at the effort this must have taken. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his neck, forcing him into a hug. His arms snaked around her waist, holding her in front of him. 

“Thank you for this, Kylo,” She said, kissing his cheek before letting go. 

“Anything for you,” He responded back. He once again, grabbed her hand, and led her to the blanket so they could sit down and enjoy the spread he had picked out. 

He wondered if she knew there is truth to what he said, how he would literally do anything for her. If she asked to drop everything and travel to France, Japan, Australia, or anywhere in the world he would have tickets paid for in under two minutes and a room booked before her luggage was packed. If Lydia asked him for a piece of the sky to wear around her neck, he would only ask, “silver or gold chain, my love?” Kylo would give up as his worldly possessions if it kept her happy. 

Lydia sat with her feet tucked under her with her hands folded in her lap as she waited for him to unpack the basket. With the grace she expected a man who enjoys the finer things in life, he unpacked the overstuffed basket smoothly with no problems. 

Their spread for the evening included a charcuterie board she was sure had a cheese that cost $300 for a pound, she remembered Leia scoffing at it at one of their charity functions. A delicate array of meats, cheeses, and crackers sat prim and proper on the board, following closely behind was a smaller board of fruits including different types of berries and various chunks of melons and pears. Lydia was sure that was enough for the two but one last plate left the basket, full of various bites of cakes, chocolates, and cute little desserts she does not know the name of. 

“Kylo, this is so much food! How are we going to eat all of this?” She asked, nearly incredulous. 

“Well I am sure your roommates would not turn their nose at the leftovers. If my little rose gushes about her date with them, I think they would be mad if you did not share food with them.”

Lydia agreed, remembering the german chocolate cake incident when she was dating Cassian. She wonders even if these delicate chocolates and exquisite cheeses could appease her housemates who have grudges against the love of her life. 

Kylo offers her a glass of wine, she happily accepts the white wine between the two. Enjoying the floral aromas that waft her nose and the fruitier of the two options. Red wine was often too strong for her, the rich flavor burning the back of her throat. 

The two shared bites between the three platters, making small conversation as the sky turned from violet to a deep blue hue. The cold air crept through Lydia’s sleeves, a shiver dotting up her spine. Kylo noticed and wrapped his jacket over her shoulders, the warmth of him still enfolded in the Tom Ford jacket, his cologne encasing her. Lydia and Kylo danced around the darker subjects of today’s events, not discussing juvie nor Poe. Lydia shares some of her unfinished novels with him, quickly going over their plots and themes, ignoring the blush when he pointed out that she seemed to focus on romance novels. Kylo talks about his travels, promising one day to take her everywhere in the world, including his favorite spots in Romania and Sweden. Lydia talks about the beautiful places she visited with Poe’s family, focusing on the good times about her best friend. They laughed as they realized they had both visited the same small town in Italy within a week of each other. 

“Yeah, Poe’s family preferred Italy and England for some reason, outside of those two places I have not seen much of the world. I try to go to New York every summer to see my cousin, Jyn.” Lydia explains, daydreaming about places she has read about it books but never stepped foot in. 

“If you want our second date to be in France, just say so my little rose.” Kylo said, his voice making her feel as warm as the wine did. He enjoyed suggesting such opulent ideas to her, seeing her eyes grow wide as she realizes he is serious and willing to waste the money to do so.

“My passport has been expired for three years! Unless you are willing to wait 4-6 weeks for a second date…” She trails off, not knowing how often he was expecting to see her. 

Kylo moved closer to Lydia, moving the plate of picked cheeses and meat to where he had sat. He moved his head to Lydia’s chin, lifting it so she could look him in the eyes. 

“How about a long weekend in New York?” He proposed.

“Stop being ridiculous Kylo, I don’t need to go anywhere fancy to spend time with you. I just like being near you, I can be happy sitting in your library reading a book as long as you’re near me.” Lydia breathed out. 

He smiled, not bothering to respond with words, but rather pressing a kiss against her lips. Lip gloss already gone, pressed into the wine glass and eaten away as she enjoyed the fruits he had laid out. Lydia had drunk a few glasses of wine, her head felt light and her whole body felt more sensitive, she sat even closer to Kylo, wanting to mold her body with his. Her arms sat wrapped on his neck, playing with his hair. One of Kylo’s hands remained on her chin, holding her face to his, while the other roamed from her waist to her breasts. He only slightly moved across the curve of her chest, not wanting to move so fast even though he wished to pull her dress over her head and feast on her body like it was his last meal. He craves her soft, supple skin that he only has had a taste of. 

The couple sat in the dazzling moonlight, kissing each other like they needed air. Lydia felt like she could spend the rest of her life sitting right there, in front of Kylo. Her disastrous afternoon with Poe, then the emotional aftermath with Kylo has turned into a perfect evening of delicious food and learning more about the love of her life. She wants to stay in the woods for as long as possible, but they both know tomorrow is Monday, another day of work like the responsible adults they are. 

Kylo was the first to pull away, mumbling about cleaning up the food and going back to his house for showers and sleep. 

“Do we need to clean up the blanket and all the lights?” She asked as Kylo raised her hand to his lips to press kisses on each knuckle. 

“No, the people who set this up will put it away. I just want to grab the food before any wildlife grub on it and so you can bring it to work tomorrow, as a peace offering to those tyrants you call friends.” He smiled at his own nickname to her friends, then pressed another kiss to her hand. He stood up first, offering his hand to help her up, like the proper gentleman he is. 

He packed away the basket and held it in one hand, his other intertwining with Lydia’s hand. They walked away from the sweet spot that will forever hold their first date, he made a mental reminder to text the guys when they make it to the car so they can clean up the spot. He knew he could trust his knights to put together a date in under two hours for him. They may not know much about his soulmate, but it was almost understood worldwide about how intense the emotions between a pair of true love soulmates could be. 

He led her to the car, allowing her to buckle in while he left the basket in the trunk of his car. He texted the group chat as he rounded the car to his side of the vehicle. He left another kiss on Lydia’s lips before buckling himself in and driving off. 

Lydia stared at the city lights as they drove around, feeling like she was on cloud nine as Kylo had literally executed her perfect dream date, something she only ever shared with Poe, Rose, Finn, and that embarrassing Pinterest board she made when she was 16 years old. 

They held hands as they drove back to Kylo’s house. He thought of it as his house, because his home was right next to him. He never understood the feeling of  _ home,  _ absent parents and being raised by an onslaught of nannies never allowed him to build a foundation. The white four walls of his “youth detention center” as his parents called it could never be a safe place for him, he spent his teenage years looking over his shoulder. But holding Lydia’s hand, kissing her lips, having his arms wrapped around her warm, soft body, was the closest thing he ever felt to home. He finally felt like he belonged. 


End file.
